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11-09-18, 06:28 AM | #511 |
Chief of the Boat
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I often say to myself, “I can’t believe that cloning machine worked!”
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
11-09-18, 03:15 PM | #512 |
Fleet Admiral
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Joesph thinking about Mary
I did not have sex with her She gets pregnant Three strange men come over and bring gifts when the baby is born Claims that it's the son of god. Seems legit.
__________________
abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right. |
11-10-18, 07:00 AM | #513 |
Chief of the Boat
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Went to a fancy dress party last night dressed as a loaf of bread, the birds were all over me.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
11-10-18, 01:08 PM | #514 |
Fleet Admiral
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After my recent prostate exam, which was one of the most thorough examinations I've ever had, the doctor left and the nurse came in.
As she shut the door, she asked me a question. She said...."Who was that guy?"
__________________
abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right. |
11-11-18, 06:50 AM | #515 |
Chief of the Boat
|
My psychiatrist says I have a fear of speed bumps but now I’m slowly beginning to get over it.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
11-11-18, 10:57 AM | #516 |
Fleet Admiral
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Not so much a joke, but a humourous look at growing older
My name is Sally and I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist, when I noticed his diploma on the wall. Suddenly, I remembered a tall, handsome young man with the same name, who had been in my secondary school class forty something years before. Could he be the same person who I had had a secret crush on all those years ago? Upon seeing him, however, I quickly forgot any such thought. This balding, grey haired man with the deeply lined face was far too old to have been my classmate. After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended Range Court school. "Yes, yes, I did," he said with pride. "When did you leave to go to university?" I asked. He answered, "In 1972. Why do you ask?" "I think you were in my class at school" I replied. He looked at me very closely. Then that bald, wrinkled, decrepit old man, said, "I'm sorry, I don't remember you. What did you teach?"
__________________
abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right. |
11-12-18, 07:04 AM | #517 |
Chief of the Boat
|
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
11-12-18, 12:19 PM | #518 |
Chief of the Boat
|
Went shopping last week to try and find some camouflage trousers, couldn’t find any.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
11-12-18, 04:58 PM | #519 |
Fleet Admiral
|
A man is seeking to join the Police department.
The Sergeant doing the interview says: "Your qualifications all look good, but there is an attitude suitability test that you must take before you can be accepted." Then, sliding a pistol and a box of ammo across the desk, he says: "Take this pistol and go out and shoot One Unarmed Teenage Black man One Diabetic having an emergency One Mentally Ill man who does not understand English and one Rabbit. " The man being interviewed asks, "Why the rabbit?" "Excellent" says the Sergeant. "When can you start?"
__________________
abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right. |
11-13-18, 08:00 AM | #520 |
Chief of the Boat
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Just invented an invisibility cloak. Everything you cover becomes invisible.
Unfortunately you can still see the cloak itself so further work is needed.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
11-14-18, 07:25 AM | #521 |
Chief of the Boat
|
Got some extra sensitive toothpaste the other day. It gets really jealous if I use other toothpastes.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
11-15-18, 07:33 AM | #522 |
Chief of the Boat
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I almost died today because of my stupid doctor. He told me I should get off the bus one stop early to get some exercise. I ended up walking 50 miles after catching the Megabus.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
11-15-18, 09:55 AM | #523 |
Chief of the Boat
|
Once I saved a girl from a fire-breathing dragon and all she could say was “You need to fix your drug problem”.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
11-15-18, 04:38 PM | #524 |
Fleet Admiral
|
For 25 years, my wife and I were the happiest two people in the world. Then we met.
__________________
abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right. |
11-16-18, 06:56 AM | #525 |
Chief of the Boat
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Twenty years ago I used to feel like I was a man trapped inside a woman’s body but then I finally decided to come out of my mum and I was born.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
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