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07-24-22, 02:21 PM | #3661 |
Village Idiot
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A little boy wanted $100 badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened.
Then he decided to write a letter to the Lord requesting the $100. When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to the Lord, USA, they decided to send it to the White House. The President was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill, as this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy. The little boy was delighted with the $5.00, and sat down to write a thank-you note to the Lord. It read: Dear Lord, Thank you very much for sending me the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you had to send it through Washington, DC and as usual, those jerks deducted $95. |
07-25-22, 07:54 AM | #3662 |
Chief of the Boat
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You know there's no official training for trash collectors? They just pick things up as they go along.
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Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
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07-25-22, 02:19 PM | #3663 |
Chief of the Boat
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What do you call a woman who sets fire to all her bills?
Bernadette.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
07-26-22, 01:30 PM | #3664 |
Chief of the Boat
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How does a squid go into battle?
Well-armed.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
07-27-22, 11:19 AM | #3665 |
Chief of the Boat
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What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
07-28-22, 11:17 AM | #3666 |
Chief of the Boat
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What did the mayonnaise say when the refrigerator door was opened?
Close the door, I'm dressing.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
07-29-22, 12:40 AM | #3667 |
Sea Lord
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Reno Nevada USA
Posts: 1,860
Downloads: 85
Uploads: 0
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Vladimer Putin is in a Russian school giving a speech to the students. At the end of the speech he says he will take questions. A girl name Sasha asks, "Mr. Putin, why did we invade Ukraine?" Before he can answer, the lunch bell rings and the teacher says the questions will continue after lunch. When the class is back a student named Boris says, "I have four questions. Why did we invade Ukraine? Why is the war taking so long? Why did the lunch bell ring 20 minutes early? Where is Sasha?"
Magic
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Reported lost 11 Feb. 1942 Signature by depthtok33l |
07-29-22, 07:02 AM | #3668 |
Chief of the Boat
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"I stand corrected!" said the man in the orthopedic shoes.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
07-30-22, 01:11 PM | #3669 |
Chief of the Boat
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I used to be addicted to soap.
But I'm clean now.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
07-31-22, 07:00 AM | #3670 |
Chief of the Boat
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What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between you and me, something smells.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
08-01-22, 07:11 AM | #3671 |
Chief of the Boat
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Why is England the wettest country?
Because the queen has reigned there for decades.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
08-01-22, 01:00 PM | #3672 |
Chief of the Boat
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What do you call it when Batman skips church?
Christian Bale.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
08-03-22, 11:04 AM | #3673 |
Chief of the Boat
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A guy goes to a pet store to buy a goldfish. The salesman asks him, "Do you want an aquarium?" The guy responds, "I don't care what star sign it is!"
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
08-03-22, 03:13 PM | #3674 |
Fleet Admiral
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I forgot how to throw a boomerang
But it came back to me
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abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right. |
08-04-22, 09:12 AM | #3675 |
Chief of the Boat
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And God said to John, "Come forth and you shall be granted eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
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