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07-01-20, 08:05 PM | #2056 |
Fastest Gun Around
Join Date: Aug 2019
Location: Agua Fira, New Mexico
Posts: 2,376
Downloads: 527
Uploads: 5
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A Lowes employee once asked me "Do you need any help with anything, sir?"
I responded "I know more than you" and walked away.
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There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure. — Colin Powell I'm not very active on the forums anymore. If you have a question, please DM me and I'll respond ASAP! |
07-02-20, 06:18 AM | #2057 | |
Fleet Admiral
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Quote:
? That's a joke?
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abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right. |
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07-02-20, 09:59 AM | #2058 |
Chief of the Boat
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This is the first year I can’t have a summer holiday in the Bahamas because of Covid19. I normally can’t have a holiday in the Bahamas because I’m too poor.
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Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
07-02-20, 10:01 AM | #2059 |
Chief of the Boat
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Coronavirus has strained many marriages but I’m blessed to be with a loving wife. Just the other morning when I woke up she was holding a pillow over my face to protect me from Covid 19.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
07-03-20, 04:38 AM | #2060 |
Chief of the Boat
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Just got a letter from Screwfix.. Turns out they are not a dating agency.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
07-03-20, 04:39 AM | #2061 |
Chief of the Boat
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Went to the doctors toady and he told me I have Covid19. I asked him for a second opinion and then he told me I was ugly as well.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
07-03-20, 06:58 PM | #2062 |
Fleet Admiral
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If sound does not travel through a vacuum, why do vacuum cleaners make so much noise?
For that matter, what exactly does a vacuum cleaner clean? Window cleaners clean windows Rug cleaners clean rugs Drain cleaners clean drains Street cleaners clean streets How can a vacuum get so dirty?
__________________
abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right. |
07-04-20, 06:17 AM | #2063 |
Silent Hunter
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 3,657
Downloads: 58
Uploads: 0
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My dog has no nose.
"How does he smell???" Terrible.
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07-04-20, 12:35 PM | #2064 |
Chief of the Boat
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Wife: Can’t believe how much weight I’ve gained since lockdown.
Me: You haven’t gained that much weight. Come on… chin up. No, the other one.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
07-04-20, 12:36 PM | #2065 |
Chief of the Boat
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My wife was really angry with me today.
I put a stick in a non-stick frying pan.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
07-04-20, 04:58 PM | #2066 |
Fleet Admiral
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I put instant coffee in the microwave and almost went back in time.
__________________
abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right. |
07-05-20, 09:12 AM | #2067 |
Fleet Admiral
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I put Minute Rice in a slow cooker.
I don't know when the hell it will be done.
__________________
abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right. |
07-05-20, 12:21 PM | #2068 |
Chief of the Boat
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Finally got an Asda delivery slot for my shopping. I’ve ordered Turkey, sprouts and some Christmas crackers.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
07-05-20, 12:22 PM | #2069 |
Chief of the Boat
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Stepped on my weighing scale this morning and it said:
“Please use social distancing, one person at a time”.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
07-05-20, 03:49 PM | #2070 |
Fleet Admiral
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I purchased a decaffeinated coffee table.
I can't tell it from the real thing
__________________
abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right. |
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