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03-15-20, 07:20 AM | #1621 |
Old enough to know better
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So then ....WHO let the dogs out.
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“Two possibilities exist: either we are alone in the Universe or we are not. Both are equally terrifying.” ― Arthur C. Clarke |
03-15-20, 08:42 AM | #1622 |
Chief of the Boat
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My girlfriend just sent me a Facebook message saying:
“helpmyspacebarbrokecanyoucomeoverandgivemeanalter native” Does anybody know what ‘ternative’ means?
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
03-15-20, 08:43 AM | #1623 |
Chief of the Boat
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The following conversation took place while on safari.
Wife: Wow those hippos are really fat and ugly, are they relatives of yours? Me: Yeah, they’re my in-laws
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
03-16-20, 09:56 AM | #1624 |
Chief of the Boat
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Earlier today my wife asked me to pass her some lip balm but I ended up giving her superglue by mistake. She’s still not talking to me.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
03-16-20, 09:58 AM | #1625 |
Chief of the Boat
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If life gives you melons, you’re probably dyslexic.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
03-17-20, 06:42 AM | #1626 |
Chief of the Boat
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Just seen a bishop walking in the street which was strange because he wasn’t walking diagonally.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
03-17-20, 06:45 AM | #1627 |
Chief of the Boat
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Why is it that when a baby drinks from a bottle and falls asleep everyone thinks it’s cute but when I do it I get arrested at my local bus station and people call me an alcoholic?
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
03-18-20, 07:53 AM | #1628 |
Chief of the Boat
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Spent the whole of last night sitting in bed thinking about the sun and where it comes from …. and then it dawned on me.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
03-18-20, 08:01 AM | #1629 |
Chief of the Boat
|
If money is the root of all evil why do they ask for it in church?
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
03-19-20, 10:22 AM | #1630 |
Chief of the Boat
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The following conversation took place at a church wedding:
Priest: Repeat after me. Groom: After me!! Priest: Is this guy serious?? Bride: No his name is Bruce.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
03-19-20, 10:23 AM | #1631 |
Chief of the Boat
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Can’t believe how much doctors lie. Last year I went to hospital to get a vasectomy to stop my wife getting pregnant but it turns out all it does is change the color of the baby.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
03-19-20, 08:18 PM | #1632 |
Fleet Admiral
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The definition of a Cad: A man who does not tell his wife that he has had a vasectomy until after his wife is pregnant.
__________________
abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right. |
03-20-20, 10:22 AM | #1633 |
Chief of the Boat
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Robin: Hey Batman, wanna hear a joke?
Batman: Sure Robin, what is it? Robin: Knock knock Batman: Who’s there? Robin: NOT YOUR PARENTS
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
03-20-20, 10:24 AM | #1634 |
Chief of the Boat
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Got attacked by a group of mime artists last night. They did unspeakable acts to me.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
03-21-20, 09:30 AM | #1635 |
Chief of the Boat
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Q: What is Mexico’s favorite sport.
A: Cross-country.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
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