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10-03-11, 11:34 PM | #31 |
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RODGERS RECORDS
...everything but a win. Week Four in the 2011 Subsim Fantasy Football, and for the second time in two weeks, the Australian Taipans have been in a thriller with the Wild Boston Terriers. We'll get to that game after this public service announcement.. DONATE TO SUBSIM... OR THE TERRORISTS WIN. Seven days ago the Taipans were in front holding onto their lead. This week they had to do it the hardest way possible, against a record breaking score. Aaron Rodgers of the Wild Boston Terriers came out in the second half of the weekend and lit up the scoreboard, scoring 4 touchdowns, 2 rushing touchdowns and 408 yards. Along with his accomplice Greg Jennings the duo scored 71 points of the WBT total score. The Terriers held a narrow lead before the Taipans ran the Jets defense on to the field. "We got lucky and and all the points scored against us, were credited to the offense," Coach Pioneer said. The Taipans snuk ahead with a defensive TD, and late Monday night, Reggie Wayne put the game out of reach. Taipans move to 4-0, and Coach McBee was seen leaving the stadium kicking a trash can down the street. Want another record - it's not that old, you only have to look back at Week 2 to the Ghost Monkeys who scored 154 points against the WBT. This week, the Monkeys made a meal of the 0-3 Nutcrunchers, racking up 166 points, certainly the most points I have ever seen in a game. However the Ghost monkeys sit one game back in the in Sub Simmers division, from, the every quietly achieving Dragons. In week 4 Coach Rick took his highly touted Dragons into the Black Cats House of Purr. Not distracted by the Pussycat Doll cheerleaders, Calvin Johnson and his 24 points lead the Dragons to an easy 131-88 win. Had Johnson got just 3 more yards the Dragons would have scored 140 points and given themselves a weekly average score of 120 points. From the Coaches own mouth, "120 points each week will win you the league." The Dragons will be hoping for another 120 points next week as they go against the Taipans in a top of the ladder clash. The third undefeated team this year, currently sitting at 4-0 in the Surface Skimmers division, Coach Casey's Guns of Hocculi accounted for last years Divisional Winners, the BP Badasses. Despite Gunners QB Kevin Kolb scoring -.21 points for his performance, WR Wes Walker and TE Jimmy Graham lifted the Gunners to their fourth straight week, and a surprising two game lead in the sub simmers division. In the other two games of the week, the 1-2 Delaware Destroyers defeated the less than .500% Reapers, 113 - 82, and scoring their first win of the season, Every Given Sunday defeat the Helmand Nighthawks, 132 - 63. A quarter of the way through the season the table looks like this. In the Sub Simmers division the Dragons at 4-0 have skipped away from the Ghost Monkeys (3-1) and the BP Badasses (2-2). The rest of the division sits at 1-3 In the Surface Skimmers Division, the Guns of Hoculi and the Taipans lead at 4-0, two games clear of the Delaware Destroyers. The Black Cats and Nighthawks are at 1-4, while the Nutcrunchers are the sole team without a win. Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance. After a surprising 0-3 start and sitting at the bottom of the Sub Simmers division, the defense has finally kicked in and brought home the first win of the season. For the effort of 2 sacks, 1 interception, 3 fumble recoveries and 3 defensive touchdowns, the Associated Subsim Writers are pleased to present the Raven Defense of Every Given Sunday with the Week Four MVT. |
10-04-11, 08:34 AM | #32 |
Lucky Jack
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And my motto still stands! "This team could not beat it's way out of a wet paper bag!"
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“You're painfully alive in a drugged and dying culture.” ― Richard Yates, Revolutionary Road |
10-04-11, 11:44 AM | #33 |
Fleet Admiral
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Are you talking about the MN gophers or vikings?
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10-04-11, 12:28 PM | #34 |
Lucky Jack
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The Nutcrunchers of course!
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“You're painfully alive in a drugged and dying culture.” ― Richard Yates, Revolutionary Road |
10-10-11, 10:56 PM | #35 |
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DRAGONS FIRE
with the Gunners smoldering. Week Five in the 2011 Subsim Fantasy Football, and the have stamped their authority on the League, but they don't have it all their own way. We'll get to that game after this public service announcement. NOMINATE SUBSIM FFL REPORTS FOR THIS YEARS "BEST OF SUBSIM". It was the top of the table clash nobody expected. A former League Champion against a foreign up comer, the winner to advance to 5-0 and take a stranglehold on their division. The Dragons and Taipans clash was everything is was billed up to be...until Roddy White and Tony Gonzales got garbage time receptions at the end of Sunday night to reduce the Taipans 40 point lead to less than 20. With Matthew Stafford and Megatron Johnson hooking up for what seemed like a 3 mile touchdown pass, the Dragons moved ahead and dropped the Taipans to 4-1. But the Dragons are not the only undefeated team, The Guns of Hoculi, the new team under Coach Casey, has also moved on to 5-0 in the Subsimmer division soundly accounting for the 1-3 reapers 142 - 79. The Gunners take a one game lead in the division but will meet the Taipans next week in one of the more exciting match ups. Two teams with the most undeserving record of 1-3 lined up against each other. The Wild Boston Terriers, red hot favorites at the start of the season, were facing the Helmand Nighthawks. These teams are off to rough starts, unlike previous years, facing off with a pair of monster rushing backs. The Purple Jesus of the Nighthawks put three touchdowns up against the Terrier's Law Firm of Ben Jarvis Green Ellis 2 TD's. It would be the arm of Aaron Rodgers which finally lifts the Terriers to .500% with a 119-78 win. The Nighthawks fall almost to the bottom of the league. Proving you don't need to be a top tier team to have a great game, Every Given Sunday finally made it home to host the Nutcrunchers. Even with Tom Terrific as QB, the Nutcrunchers are still looking for their first win as the fall to EGS 95-87. After the game Tom was seen sobbing into a pink handkerchief that rumors suspect was once owned by Bridget Moynaham. Sorry Tom, you get to go home and put up with Giesel tonight. They've had some high scores and look to be a legitimate title contender despite sititng at 3-1 before this weeks games. Coach Mookie of the once beloved "Lose by a Point" team with his new Ghost Moonkeys have been handing teams a spanking this year. Week Five was no exception and while not a high scoring game, Dwayne Bowe caught 30 points of the Ghost Monkeys points. It didn't help that the Delaware Destroyers started QB Tony Romo...who stayed at home on a Bye weekend. Monkeys leapfrog up the table to 4-1 winning 88 - 60. Next week they host the Dragons in the game of the week. However, proving that leaving your best player as a starter in a bye week can still get a win, are the Black Cats. The Kitty Cats started Ray Rice this week and despite his absence, managed to rack up 107 points against the BP Basasses. Cats advance to 2-3 but two games back in the Sub Simmer division. Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance. After a slow start in the Sub Simmers division, the arm has finally kicked in. For the effort of 5 touchdowns and 228 yards, scoring a massive 32.06 points, the Associated Subsim Writers are pleased to present Ben Roethlisberger of the Black Cats with the Week Five MVT. [/QUOTE] |
10-10-11, 11:33 PM | #36 |
Silent Hunter
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"Whatdya mean, Ray wasn't on the bus?!?!?!?! Where in the Wide, Wide World of Sports is he?" - Coach CaptainHaplo was overheard saying just prior to the game....
I was going to swap him out, but I made a huge error in picking up 3qb's at draft. Still getting the hang of moving players - was worried about dropping one of the qb's (I still say Matt Moore is going to take over in Miami and light it up) and not getting them back later. Probably a mistake, but it worked out.
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Good Hunting! Captain Haplo |
10-11-11, 04:53 AM | #37 |
Lucky Jack
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The Nutcrunchers have a official name change. The new team name is Tail End Charlie.
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“You're painfully alive in a drugged and dying culture.” ― Richard Yates, Revolutionary Road |
10-11-11, 09:07 AM | #38 |
Fleet Admiral
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How about "Cupless in Balmer".
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10-11-11, 09:59 AM | #39 |
Lucky Jack
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Will that fit on our jerseys?
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“You're painfully alive in a drugged and dying culture.” ― Richard Yates, Revolutionary Road |
10-11-11, 10:14 AM | #40 |
Navy Seal
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I say instead of the Nutcrunchers, you could be the Nutcrunchees. Wait, that sounds like a breakfast cereal...
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10-11-11, 10:44 AM | #41 |
Lucky Jack
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I don't know about that but I do know I'm attending the Ravens/Texans game this weekend.
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“You're painfully alive in a drugged and dying culture.” ― Richard Yates, Revolutionary Road |
10-11-11, 11:19 AM | #42 | |
Fleet Admiral
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Quote:
Winner gets a GBGC Second place gets a used "Terrible Towel".
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10-11-11, 11:47 AM | #43 |
Navy Seal
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What was the towel used for?
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10-11-11, 11:49 AM | #44 |
Lucky Jack
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I can tell ya what the Ravens used the towel for.
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“You're painfully alive in a drugged and dying culture.” ― Richard Yates, Revolutionary Road |
10-17-11, 10:41 PM | #45 |
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THE IMMACULATE SEASON
Dragons are 6-0. Week Six in the 2011 Subsim Fantasy Football, and we needed all of Monday night to find a result in four of this weeks games. That's a short time to turn around a weekly report, but this isn't some hick show called Sportscenter, this is Subsim. We'll get to those games after this public service announcement. NOMINATE SUBSIM FFL REPORTS FOR THIS YEARS "BEST OF SUBSIM". A divisional match up, the #1 and #2 teams in the league and their first head to head meeting, this game of the week had everything riding on it. The Dragons, the hottest team in the league at 5-0 going against the huge scoring 4-1 Ghost Monkeys. These two coaches are no stranger to big games, having met each other for the last few years in one franchise or another, and this game was no exception. Colt McCoy (Monkeys) and Sam Bradford (Dragons) played almost identical games, but it was the Dragons running game behind Ahmad Bradshaw that was just able to stretch LeSean McCoy (Monkeys). The Dragons advance to a two game divisional lead over the Ghost Monkeys. And the '72 Dolphins are looking very nervous as the champagne stays on the ice with the Dragons, looking for the Immaculate Season, move to 6-0. In the Surface Skimmers divisional match up, the Guns of Hochuli were looking to be the other 6-0 team, but hosting the Australian Taipans on Monday night has proven to be tough. In the last 4 weeks, the Taipans are 3-1 on Monday Night. The Gunners, playing their second team (4 on byes, 1 ruled out) held a 25 point lead Monday Night but it wasn't enough when the Taipans back up QB Mark Sanchez walked in for 6. Taipans knock off the Guns of Hochuli 114 - 87. Finally reaching .500%, the Wild Boston Terriers have found their bark as they flossed their teeth against the struggling Reapers. The Terriers, still pulling good money in Vegas to win this league, showed one of their more dominating performances 112 - 71. Proving you don't have to score a lot of points to win and still put on a good game, the BP Badasses were hosting Every Given Sunday. Unable to make the last minute changes to the teams, this was another game with 4 of the starters sitting in the grandstand drinking beer. With three of their starters missing, Every Given Sunday some how defeats the Badasses 64-42. (Is this the lowest winning score ever?) The Monday Night Thriller was the Black cats hosting the Helmand Nighthawks. The Nighthawks, wondering what bus hit them back to 1-4, were holding out for just 2 catches or 25 yards for Plexico Burress to win the game. It wasn't to be, and the Cats coach was overjoyed as crossed the field to shake hands with Mr Chris. After a backslap, Mr Chris who was nude sunbathing the day prior and extremely sunburned, grimaced at the action. Mr Chris chased down Coach FYC to ask for some Aloe Vera lotion. The Coach claimed he didn't have any but Mr Chris knew better. Coach Chris attempted to pat down The Coach but found none. The League Commissioner has taken no action on the sly grope, but has now issued aloe Vera to all coaches at each games. Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance. You don't have to be 6-0 to win the weekly award. For the effort of 2 touchdowns and 139 yards, scoring 25.35 points, the Associated Subsim Writers are pleased to present Michael Turner of the Delaware Destroyers with the Week Six MVT. |
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