Dear Steve Thread
 

Do you have issues, need a good dose of online Prozac, then this is the thread for you. Discuss your physical, emotional, marital, sexual, general life issues with Dr. Steve of Subsim. Come on in, lay on the couch, knowing you won't be judged here for being you.

Who will be first, who has a question for Dr. Steve O.L.D.

As usual, I'll go first.

Dear Steve,

I have been married for almost 20 years. Lately, every time my wife walks by me she mumbles under her breath. When I ask her what's she's saying, she simply replies "nothing".

What's up with her?

Before I was just a lawyer. Now I'm a psikia...psychulag...shrink too? Who knew? My license hasn't even come in the mail yet! If it doesn't come soon I'm going to have to stock up on whatever cereal that has things like this in the box.

Just so you know, O.L.D. stands for Order of the Legally Dead. :dead:

I also hold the Blessed Ugly Lady's Loving Safety and Health In Texas award, but that's another story.

She obviously has a defective voice box. A pair of pliers might do the job, but just to be on the safe side I'd send in for Sailor's Obviously Technical Ongoing Voicebox Omnifier Class-1 Eradicator kit. Only $99.98 one-week only special. After that it goes up to $99.99. :sunny:

Dear Dr Steve,
I know a "subsim member" who doesn't like swearing, but then he posted this:
Am I morally obligated to call Neal and complain?:hmm2:

You're obviously confused. You never saw anything like that here. Besides, I...I mean, HE didn't create that medal. It's a Texas thing.

Nah. Just bite him on the leg. Neal, that is. Ignore the man behind the curtain.

Sound advise. :up:

Get bigger speakers.

:har:

Dear Steve

Please help. Just recently I've been drifting off when . . .

The O.L.D. Sailor is out for his afternoon nap. All requests will be taken in order, depending on his mood. If he's not back by this time tomorrow, go away and leave him alone.

. . . in the middle of a sentence, it's quite embarrassing really. Anyway, if you can help that's be great.

Also I've suddenly got a painful cheek, any ideas how I can find out what caused it - could it be an allergy?

Yours hopefully,

Herr-B

Dear Steve.

Please advise, if I squeeze my lemon, will I indeed fall right out of bed? Should I pad the area immediately around said bed?

Yours,

Dazed and confused

Dear Steve,

When I wash my white socks with my work clothes they come out with a grey tinge. Is there anything I can do beside buying new socks to fix this?

Signed,
Embarrassed by his socks