Granted, but the plane is shot down by SUBMAN with a home-built SAM and you die a horrible and painful death.

I wish someone would play full length NASCAR 2003 races with me.

Granted, but he won't keep his hand off of your leg as he pretends to show you which button to push to repair your race car ... :o

I wish I was back on a FBM submarine with lots of good food when WW III comes

Granted, but then you would miss all the pretty lights and smoke.

I wish WWIII could just come already....and I had some toast to go with it...

Granted, but it would only get soggy when your boat got sunk.

I wish there were peace all over the world.

Granted. World peace is achieved, and humanity rejects war and all of its horrors. In fact, the rejection of conflict and war is so great that all war books, memorabilia and games are deemed to be illegal, as it celebrates death and suffering and hate. Your beloved submarine and flight sim games are contraband. Subsim.com members meet to exchange mod packs in shadowy dark alleys, until one night it all goes wrong and you find yourself caught up in a police sting operation. You're sent to jail forever. Don't drop the soap!

I wish I had a million bucks.

Granted, but it turns out that it is stolen, and you are sentenced to life at hard labor.

I wish I could be a U-boat ace.

Granted, but in addition to being a U-boat ace, you were also an extreme supporter of the Nazi party and personal friend of the Führer himself. You survived the Atlantic campaign in your type VIIC, against all odds, and retired to Argentina to hide from justice. You thought you were safe, meeting an Argentine lass and even starting a family and what becomes a huge successful winery on the outskirts of Buenos Aires. This is all until the day that an intrepid reporter digs up your service records and other juicy niggles and publishes them. The fateful day arrives that the Mossad comes and knocks on your door, and you are never heard from ever again.

I wish I had a time machine.

Granted but like the character in the H.G. Wells book you find that moving through time has it's challenges and horrors. In one incident you travel back to the 13th century during the black plague, contract the disease and in travelling back to your own time start the next world pandemic, reducing the population of the world by a third.

I'd like to see all internet spam eradicated.

Granted, but that would lead to the closing of large parts of SS.

I wish I'd been able to marry my cousin.

Granted, but he always gets to play the active role.

I wish I could read 10 times faster.

Granted. Instead of 2 eyes, you now have 1 big one. (Here's something cool: Jimmy Carter could read over a THOUSAND words a MINUTE.)

I wish that I had more McDonald's Sweet-Tea.

Granted. You take the last bottle of the six-pack you just drank and drain it as you walk into the living room for the game. A bulletin comes on about cyanide poisoning in all McDonald's Sweet Tea of a certain lot number. As the announcer reads the # you see it on the now empty bottle. A glance down at the inside of the cap reveals a small pinhole pointing inward just as you lose conciousness.

I wish I was surfing right now.

Granted, but you're getting up there in years, and the old hip is not what she used to be. There's a probable chance that you'll fracture something, fall in deep water, and spend the last few minutes of your life in extreme joint pain as you wrestle against drowning.

I wish I wasn't so mean to Ishmael.

Granted, but then you ruin the game for everyone. Your actions aren't pointed out immediately, but everyone is left with a vague sense of loathing when they see your posts. You are always remembered as "that guy that ruined the fun thread."

I wish I didn't have to travel for work tomorrow.

Granted, but then you'd be sitting in the same seat at work that you always sit it, instead of on your way to an exciting destination full of mystery and intrigue!

I wish the Australian drought would break.