Bernard Mans the Guns

Brer Rabbit · 03-14-10, 12:26 AM

U-51 just completed its 5th patrol, and it is Jan 1940. During the patrol we sank four ships - a large Cargo, Tanker 09, small Freighter, and a Medium Cargo. As I use 100%, and hae not risen to the uber kaluen level of proficiency I took 9 torpedos and a bushel full of 88 rounds to acomplish this. As our patrol area was in CF32, and a little below 50% fuel, I decided to RV with Belcher off of Greenland to resupply.

During my last sinking I used the deck gun to finish off the Med Cargo. Bernard had been bannished to latrine duty and bilge inspections for earlier goofs. He begged to be allowed to go on deck to assist in passing ammo for the deckgun. I felt sorry for him and as he had managed to avoid me for the past two weeks, I relented as sent up on ammo detail.

While on deck he kept begging the gunnet to teach him how to load and fire the gun. The gunner let him load and fire off a few rounds. After the action he bribed the gunner with some hidden schnaps to ask me to let him train Bernard for duty as part of the gun crew. At the time I figured (a. it would keep him away from me and (b.since it was January and our location was the North Atlantic. The weather being good the gun crew practiced every day and during the night doing gun drills and maintaining the 88.

We were almost at the RV site with Belcher and that night the gun crew went up to train as they often did. During the training the gun chief went below to use the head. While he was below, the WO spotted a ship and alerted the boat. As he was cranking around the UZO for a good look to identify the ship, the gun began to fire live rounds. Hearin ghe gun go pff I lept out of my bunk and dashed to the bridge.

I got there just in time to see a second round hit the ship setting another blaze in the bow. At the same time the WO stammered "BBBBeelcher"

"B E R N A R D! Somebody anybody grab that SOB." The gun crew quickly subdued Bernard and I lept down to deck grabbing him by the throat. "You stupid, ignorant, little turd. I'm going to kill you. I screemed. Before I choke him to death the gun chief who had followedme to the bridge holding up his pants with one hand. Managed to get my hands from around Bernard's neck. "Wait" he said, "Ive got a better idea." He produv-ced a small rubber dingy from the deck casing, quickly inflated it and threw it and Bernard over the side.

Brer Rabbit · 03-14-10, 12:40 AM

I ran down below to get on the radio to let Belchers Captain that we had a little accident and we would be comming along side to help fight the fire.
As I boarded Belcher I could see the ships captain racing towards me waving his lugar in the air. His first officer and I managed to calm him down some, and I explained that one of my crew had accidently fired the gun while playing with it. I pointed to a speck in the sea about 300 meters of a drifting dingy with a loan man on board.

We put out the fire, replenished stores and beat it as fast as we could. The radios were bleating fast and furious with recriminations and threats whinning and begging between us, Belcher and Bdu.

As we pulled away I could see Bernard still bobbing in the sea and we began a long slow journey back to base. I just hope that we can sink a whole bunch of ships before we reach WH.

(Truth in Advertising) I had sunk a ship with gunfire not too far from the RV site. Since it was not too far and the weather was good I stayed on the surface all the way to Belcher. Unfortunately I forgot to relieve the gun crew, who remained faithfully at their gun, and since did not countermand the "Fire at will" command as soon as they wee in range of Belcher they let em have it. Woe is me when I get home --but at least I rid of Bernard --I hope. I expect him the be the prosecutions star witness at my court marshall.

Brer Rabbit -- Looking for a briar patch

Brag · 03-14-10, 02:02 PM

Funny, Brer.

I had a similar incident in the Azores, where I banged away at a British tanker in port. After finishing the tanker, the crew fired on the next ship, a Portuguese mine sweeper. That's when the coastal batteries opened up.

Managed to dive and get away--Bernard is bad, bad, bad,

Paul Riley · 03-14-10, 02:57 PM

I feel sorry for Bernard,he's clearly a retard and should not be onboard a UBoat,period!

Cut the guy a bit of slack,you could have him peeling the potatoes or something?

03-14-10, 12:26 AM	#1
Brer Rabbit Briar Patch Runner Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Tucson, AZ Posts: 95 Downloads: 89 Uploads: 0	Bernard Mans the Guns U-51 just completed its 5th patrol, and it is Jan 1940. During the patrol we sank four ships - a large Cargo, Tanker 09, small Freighter, and a Medium Cargo. As I use 100%, and hae not risen to the uber kaluen level of proficiency I took 9 torpedos and a bushel full of 88 rounds to acomplish this. As our patrol area was in CF32, and a little below 50% fuel, I decided to RV with Belcher off of Greenland to resupply. During my last sinking I used the deck gun to finish off the Med Cargo. Bernard had been bannished to latrine duty and bilge inspections for earlier goofs. He begged to be allowed to go on deck to assist in passing ammo for the deckgun. I felt sorry for him and as he had managed to avoid me for the past two weeks, I relented as sent up on ammo detail. While on deck he kept begging the gunnet to teach him how to load and fire the gun. The gunner let him load and fire off a few rounds. After the action he bribed the gunner with some hidden schnaps to ask me to let him train Bernard for duty as part of the gun crew. At the time I figured (a. it would keep him away from me and (b.since it was January and our location was the North Atlantic. The weather being good the gun crew practiced every day and during the night doing gun drills and maintaining the 88. We were almost at the RV site with Belcher and that night the gun crew went up to train as they often did. During the training the gun chief went below to use the head. While he was below, the WO spotted a ship and alerted the boat. As he was cranking around the UZO for a good look to identify the ship, the gun began to fire live rounds. Hearin ghe gun go pff I lept out of my bunk and dashed to the bridge. I got there just in time to see a second round hit the ship setting another blaze in the bow. At the same time the WO stammered "BBBBeelcher" "B E R N A R D! Somebody anybody grab that SOB." The gun crew quickly subdued Bernard and I lept down to deck grabbing him by the throat. "You stupid, ignorant, little turd. I'm going to kill you. I screemed. Before I choke him to death the gun chief who had followedme to the bridge holding up his pants with one hand. Managed to get my hands from around Bernard's neck. "Wait" he said, "Ive got a better idea." He produv-ced a small rubber dingy from the deck casing, quickly inflated it and threw it and Bernard over the side.

03-14-10, 12:40 AM	#2
Brer Rabbit Briar Patch Runner Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Tucson, AZ Posts: 95 Downloads: 89 Uploads: 0	Bernard Mans the Gun. I ran down below to get on the radio to let Belchers Captain that we had a little accident and we would be comming along side to help fight the fire. As I boarded Belcher I could see the ships captain racing towards me waving his lugar in the air. His first officer and I managed to calm him down some, and I explained that one of my crew had accidently fired the gun while playing with it. I pointed to a speck in the sea about 300 meters of a drifting dingy with a loan man on board. We put out the fire, replenished stores and beat it as fast as we could. The radios were bleating fast and furious with recriminations and threats whinning and begging between us, Belcher and Bdu. As we pulled away I could see Bernard still bobbing in the sea and we began a long slow journey back to base. I just hope that we can sink a whole bunch of ships before we reach WH. (Truth in Advertising) I had sunk a ship with gunfire not too far from the RV site. Since it was not too far and the weather was good I stayed on the surface all the way to Belcher. Unfortunately I forgot to relieve the gun crew, who remained faithfully at their gun, and since did not countermand the "Fire at will" command as soon as they wee in range of Belcher they let em have it. Woe is me when I get home --but at least I rid of Bernard --I hope. I expect him the be the prosecutions star witness at my court marshall. Brer Rabbit -- Looking for a briar patch

03-14-10, 02:02 PM	#3
Brag Navy Seal Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Docked on a Russian pond Posts: 7,072 Downloads: 2 Uploads: 0	Funny, Brer. I had a similar incident in the Azores, where I banged away at a British tanker in port. After finishing the tanker, the crew fired on the next ship, a Portuguese mine sweeper. That's when the coastal batteries opened up. Managed to dive and get away--Bernard is bad, bad, bad, __________________ Espionage, adventure, suspense, are just a click away Click here to look inside Brag's book: Amazon.com: Kingmaker: Alexey Braguine: Books Order Kingmaker here: http://www.subsim.com/store.html For Tactics visit:http://www.freewebs.com/kielman/

03-14-10, 02:57 PM	#4
Paul Riley Ocean Warrior Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Sheffield, England Posts: 2,679 Downloads: 165 Uploads: 0	I feel sorry for Bernard,he's clearly a retard and should not be onboard a UBoat,period! Cut the guy a bit of slack,you could have him peeling the potatoes or something? __________________ Best Patrol: 10 merchants + HMS Nelson for 68.056 Tonnes