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Old 12-15-2020, 12:19 AM   #16
Gut Wrench
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GUNNERS STEAL DIVISION
Nighthawks Thieve the League

Week Fourteen in the Subsim Fantasy Football League. We wait a long time to solve the post season playoff picture but now that the weekend is over - without the Covid affected games, we finally have a roadmap to the playoffs.

Let's find out who goes on the road and who stays home, right after we find out about the most important things you need to do, today.


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Let's start in the Carolina's where the Black Cats were hosting the Who Dat Nation. The Cats had been eliminated from the playoffs last week but the Nation needed to win this game to avoid having to go to the countback scenarios. The Cats continued to field a team with two players short, and were always on the back foot. And that was before Baltimore (DEF) began recording a negative score, taking points off the board, only to be saved on the last play of the weekend with a Safety. The Nation, while having no stellar our outstanding players, continued to grind away methodically, doing just enough to seal their position in the playoffs. The Who Dat Nation send the Black Cats into the Consolation post season with a bye, defeating them easily 167 - 142.

Having been the first game to finish on the weekend, the Nation had to sit down and wait out the other games to determine their final placing.

Let's turn our attention to the Drunk Monkeys hosting the Helmand Nighthawks Deployed to Saint Louis. The Monkeys until this year, held the prestigious best damm ghost team, losing that mantle to the Black Cats who almost made the playoffs without a Coach. In their last game of the regular season they were hosting the Helmand Nighthawk who had just rolled right over them in previous weeks. The carnage was repeated this week as the Nighthawks did not enough to demonstrate the powerhouse team that they have been in recent years, but just enough to get the w in the correct column, and move forward into the playoffs. Their final position though, would not be known until the completion of our match of the day. Nighthawks obliterate the Drunk Monkeys 145 - 96.

In San Diego, the Australian Taipans of Southern California were hosting the Guns of Hochuli in the singular game that would decide all the final playoff seedings. You knew that this was going to be a shootout when the Gunner started with the Rams (DEF) putting up 21 points on Thursday night. The Taipans finally stepped onto the field on Sunday and began their chase, and the chase lasted all the way through until Monday night. They never once headed the Gunners but the throttling of the Gunners team continued, as Coach Casey continued to ask for more from Justin Herbert (QB) to keep them in front of the Taipans. When the Taipans star Aaron Jones (RB) sat down for a cigarette on the playing field, you sensed that the Taipans might not head into the post season as the number one seed. And you would be right. In the highest scoring game of the year, once again, the Australian Taipans come up short, defeated by the Guns of Hochuli 172.32 - 171.02.

So where does that leave the post season?

Let's start with what we know. The Black Cats and the Drunk Monkeys were eliminated from the playoffs only a week ago, a true testament to how hard it is to win in this league. Both those teams get a bye, and then meet in South Carolina for the wooden spoon.

The win by the Helmand Nighthawks propels them to 9-5 and the best record int he league. They own the number one seed, having stolen it form the Taipans.

And now it gets complicated.

The Guns of Hochuli, The Who Dat Nation Rises and the Australian Taipans all finish the season at 8-6. The Gunners and the Taipans are divisional rivals so the #2 seed goes to the team with the best divisional record. The Gunners are 5-1 in their division, a record equaling the Nighthawks, but its the Taipans at 2-4 within the division that propels them down the league ladder. The Gunners, having beaten their divisional rivals more than they have been defeated, earn the #2 seed and get at least one game at home.

Now, having determined the divisional winners, a different countback system is used to determine the next seeding. The highest scoring team in the league this year has been the Taipans who have twice bettered the leagues all time record score. The Nation scored barely enough points above the 50% mark compared to the Taipans, and they loose the countback. The Taipans take the #3 seed and the National falls to the #4 seed.

So what does that do the next weeks games.

He he. the Guns of Hochuli and the Australian Taipans meet each other again, but this time in Texas. The Gunners have had the Taipans number year after year by the narrowest of margins, and this year was no exception. In Saint Louis, the Helmand Nighthawks will be hosting the Who Dat Nation Rises in their matchup, a repeat of several recent Torpedo Bowl meetings, as the two strongest teams in the league.

And we'll be there every step of the way to watch who advances to the this years Torpedo Bowl Championship.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

It was the highest score game of the week, and from it came the highest scoring player of the game. For the effort 10 receptions for 130 yards and 3 touchdowns, and a rushing yard (feast) of 1 yard for a total of 35.10 points, the Week Fourteen MVT goes to Stefan Diggs (WR) of the Hemlmand Nighthawks.

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Old 12-21-2020, 11:26 PM   #17
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TORPEDO BOWL MATCH UP SET
...but we needed all weekend.

Week Fifteen in the Subsim Fantasy Football League. We're just one game away from the end of the season, but to get to the end, you have to go through the second last game of the year. Are you going to the Torpedo Bowl, or are you relegated to the lower level game? Only two teams will climb the mountain to reach the Torpedo Bowl, and this week, we learned who climbed the mountain.

We'll tell you all about that just as soon as we delivery this more important message.

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Last week, the key match up which established the post season was the game between the Guns of Hochuli and the Australian Taipans. These two teams created the perfect set up for the first week of the post season when they met for the second time in two weeks. The Gunners have owned the Taipans this season, but those wins have been high scoring and settled by less than four yards in some games. This week, the high scoring Taipans after the narrow loss traveled back to the Gunners home town in Texas, and they came to play. They came to play with the third highest scoring game of the year, putting up over 200 points - again. Last week the Taipans chased the Gunners the entire weekend, but not this week. This week, the Taipans came to play and smack down their opposition with an unbelievable show of power. This one wasn't even close folks, with the Australian Taipans of Southern California running away with the game. Final score, the Taipans defeat the Guns of Hochuli 208 - 126.

Now, over in the other game, we have a thriller that swayed back and forth with lead changes. The Helmand Nighthawks Deployed to Saint Louis are the #1 seed in the league, and they were scheduled to play the Who Dat Nation Rises Again. These two teams representing the engine house of the league, the two toughest teams around, but this year, the Nation has struggled to create some locomotion. The Nation opened the game with an impressive start from Deandre Hopkins (WR). Having established the lead, the Nighthawks came back lead by an aerial assault of Stefan Diggs (WR). When Russell Cooper (QB) didn't score a lot of points, you suspected that The Nation might upset the #1 seed and steal and win - sending the Torpedo Bowl match up with the #3 and #4 teams. On Monday night, Nation's franchise player Ben Roethlisberger (QB) took to the field, and you would have expected Big Ben to throw for five touchdowns. With less than five minutes remaining in the weekend, Big Ben didn't have one touchdown, and the game slipped away from the Nation. The Nighthawks steal a win to defeat the Who Dat Nation Rises Again 143 - 134.

So where does that leave us for next week.

The Black Cats stay at home in South Carolina to host the Drunk Monkeys, In a battle of the worst of the league, these two teams get to fight out for the wooden spoon.

The Guns of Hochuli after being beaten by the Taipans are relegated to the bronze medal game, where they will host the Who Dat Nation after the Big Ben implosion on Monday night.

And out big game of the weekend features our two international teams, the Helmand Nighthawks Deployed to Saint Louis hosting the Australian Taipans of Southern California. The Nighthawks played their way into the post season as the #1 seed but the Taipans are the highest scoring team in the league this year - and are coming up on the highest scoring team in league history. This could be the highest scoring game of the year.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

Hard to look past the winner of this weeks award. For the effort 9 receptions for 150 yards and 1 touchdowns, for a total of 36.0 points, the Week Fifteen MVT goes to Darren Waller (TE) of the Australian Taipans.

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Old 12-28-2020, 11:07 PM   #18
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NIGHTHAWKS SLITHER PAST THE TAIPANS
...and the Cats/Monkeys blow it up.

Week Sixteen in the Subsim Fantasy Football League. The Torpedo Bowl. The accumulation of all the games that we've played come down to this one game. Of all the leagues that the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) cover, it is this league which is not only the hardest to win, but the hardest to get yourself into the Torpedo Bowl. The caliber of the Coaches, the exquisite drafting and of course, the inevitable Lady Luck which constantly shows up to make it harder to be the most deserving.

But we are here, and right now, we need to thank our primary sponsor, who makes all of this possible. Gracious, Neal!

We'll tell you all about that just as soon as we delivery this more important message.

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Three games this week and while you wouldn't think that the Consolation Series wasn't worth a view, have we got news for you. For the past few years we have touted the Drunk Monkeys as the best damm ghost team in the league. This year, the challenge was thrown out to them by the Black Cats. the Monkeys were outstanding on Thursday with Alvin Kamara (RB) scoring six touchdowns (OMG) for a total of 62.2 points. You would think that would be enough to win - and it would in any other league, but this year, the Black Cats unrest the title with Devante Adams (WR) with 49.2 points. While both teams both started a player sort, the Black Cats just purred their machinery to get into a rhythm and GRIND wear down the Monkeys. In the highest scoring game of the weekend, the Black cats pip the Drunk Monkeys 162 - 160. Outstanding.

In the bronze medal game, the Guns of Hochuli were hosting the Who Dat Nation Rises. The Gunners went into the post season as the #2 seed, but lost to their divisional rival, setting up their match with the Nation. The Nation have done it tough this year, losing some games they really should have won, which left them in the situation they were facing this weekend. Salvaging their season, the Nation star Ben Roethllisberger (QB) steered the Nation to a well deserved victory against the Gunners. The Gunners were not able to keep pace with the nation, as they stumbled to one of their worst performances of the year. Finishing strong with a win, the Who Dat Nation Rises defeat the Guns of Hochuli 120 - 109.

And the finale...

The #1 seed the Helmand Nighthawks Deployed to Saint Louise were hosting the Australian Taipans of Southern California. The two international teams were back at it once again, this time, for league glory. The Taipans have been the hottest team of the yearn outscoring everybody and setting three league high scoring records. But they have been vulnerable, suffering losses they had no right to loose. On the other side, the Nighthawks are the powerhouse team int he league, but this year, they had to do it the tough way, They didn't own the league, they didn't dominate everyone, they had some losses. So when the Taipans and the Nighthawks were headed once again to match up int he post season, there were two different approaches to the Torpedo Bowl. The Taipans, - their plan was to score points and plenty of them. The Nighthawks, they knew if they could keep the game close, stay within arms reach, they could topple the Taipans who have not won a lot of games in the clutch. And the Nighthawks kept it very close, The Nighthawks came out on Friday and established a lead and set the Taipans a target - which they chased down, and swapped the lead. But the Nighthawks didn't let the Taipans get away. While the Taipans stretched the lead, the Nighthawks didn't let the Tipans run up the scoreboard like they have throughout the year. On Monday night with a twenty point lead, no one was prepared to give the Taipans the Torpedo Bowl, they looked like they hadn't scored enough points. And onto the field strode Stefan Diggs (WR) for the Nightahwks, and just swamped the Taipans. The Helmand Nighthawks add another Torpedo Bowl trophy to the cabinet, defeating the Australian Taipans, ???? - 141.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

He was the last man standing on Monday night. The sole player left over and needing a big score to chase down, and to convincingly win the game, and win the Torpedo Bowl. For the effort 9 receptions for 145 yards and 3 touchdowns, for a total of 47.5 points, the Week Sixteen MVT goes to Stefan Diggs (WR) of the Helmand Nighthawks.

We'll be back tomorrow, to announce our all star team.

Congratulations to the Helmand Nighthawks.


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Old 12-30-2020, 09:02 PM   #19
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ALL STAR TEAM NAMED
With one ping only.

The celebrations for the helmand Nighthawks begin, and the reaminder of the league get watch the Nighthawks victory...remotely by Zoon. It's bene an unusual year, a year where we have lost many, some truely belonging to the community at large.


Each year the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) pick their All Star Team - not necessarily the highest socring players of theleagies, but the team that represents the finest fantasy players. This year, the ASW selected to honor the All Star Team and for the first time ever, only one name was selected by all of the ASW's. Although, perhaps better known by his appearances in another franchise, it is this solo performance for which this community, shall always remember. And for whom, we name the All Star Teamm.


Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Sean Connery Red Octobers.




QB- Patrick Mahonnes (Australian Taipans)


WR: Devonte Adams (Black Cats) Stefon Diggs (Helmand Nighthawks) Tyreek Hill (Australian Taipans)


RB: Alvin Kamara (Drunk Monkeys) Derrick Henry (Black Cats)


TE: Travis Kelce (Helmand Nighthawks)


K: Young Wooo Hoo (Guns of Hochuli)


DEF: MIami (Who Dat Nation Rises)


Bench: Josh Allen (Drunk Monkeys) Deandre Hopkins (Who Dat Nation Rises) Josh Jacobs (Helmand Nighthawks) Darren Waller (Australian Taipans) LA Rams (Guns of Hochuli)



...and that wraps up the 2020 Subsim Season. We thank you for playing along, reading the news, cheering for the players, and smack talking you're way through the most interesting season we have ever had. We'll see you back here in June when we get ready to go through the sixteen most frustrating weeks of football, again.
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