The joke thread II - Page 268

Jimbuna · 01-22-23, 05:49 AM

The following conversation took place in a hospital before getting test results.

Patient: Give it to me straight doctor.
Doctor: I can’t were both male.
Patient: Hahaha!!
Doctor: .. and also I wouldn’t want to catch AIDS.

Jimbuna · 01-22-23, 05:50 AM

Caught my dyslexic housemate putting shoe polish on his genitals the other day. I later found out it happened after he read a newspaper article about the clocks going back.

Jimbuna · 01-23-23, 12:03 PM

Man: Your place or mine?
Women: Both, you go to yours and I’ll go to mine.

Jimbuna · 01-23-23, 12:11 PM

Just paid $1000 for an iPhone 7. Airplane mode better take me to Miami.

Jimbuna · 01-24-23, 08:42 AM

Went to see the doctor last week, he gave me 4 months to live, so I shot him. Today the judge gave me 20 years, problem solved.

Jimbuna · 01-24-23, 08:43 AM

Platapus · 01-24-23, 03:55 PM

Son: What rhymes with orange

Dad: No it doesn't

Jimbuna · 01-25-23, 09:14 AM

My girlfriend just sent me a Facebook message saying:

“helpmyspacebarbrokecanyoucomeoverandgivemeanalter native”

Does anybody know what ‘ternative’ means?

Jimbuna · 01-25-23, 09:21 AM

The following conversation took place while on safari.

Wife: Wow those hippos are really fat and ugly, are they relatives of yours?
Me: Yeah, they’re my in-laws

Jimbuna · 01-26-23, 07:25 AM

Have you heard about that new Muslim rock band from Saudi Arabia?

They’re called the ‘Throwing Stones’.

Jimbuna · 01-26-23, 07:33 AM

The following conversation took place in a job interview.

Interviewer: We’re looking for someone who is responsible, do you fit that criteria?
Me: Well in my last job when the store caught fire my boss said that I was responsible.

Jimbuna · 01-27-23, 09:13 AM

My girlfriend told me this morning she doesn’t trust me.

I guess that’s one more thing she has in common with my wife.

Jimbuna · 01-27-23, 09:15 AM

The other day my girlfriend told me to take the spider out instead of killing it….
So we went out and had some drinks. He’s a cool guy, wants to become a web developer.

Jimbuna · 01-28-23, 08:55 AM

Ban pre-shredded cheese…. Make America grate again!!

Jimbuna · 01-28-23, 08:57 AM

If life gives you melons, you’re probably dyslexic.

01-22-23, 05:49 AM	#4006
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,122 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	The following conversation took place in a hospital before getting test results. Patient: Give it to me straight doctor. Doctor: I can’t were both male. Patient: Hahaha!! Doctor: .. and also I wouldn’t want to catch AIDS. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

01-22-23, 05:50 AM	#4007
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,122 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Caught my dyslexic housemate putting shoe polish on his genitals the other day. I later found out it happened after he read a newspaper article about the clocks going back. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

01-23-23, 12:03 PM	#4008
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,122 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Man: Your place or mine? Women: Both, you go to yours and I’ll go to mine. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

01-23-23, 12:11 PM	#4009
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,122 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Just paid $1000 for an iPhone 7. Airplane mode better take me to Miami. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

01-24-23, 08:42 AM	#4010
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,122 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Went to see the doctor last week, he gave me 4 months to live, so I shot him. Today the judge gave me 20 years, problem solved. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

01-24-23, 08:43 AM	#4011
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,122 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	__________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

01-24-23, 03:55 PM	#4012
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,946 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	Son: What rhymes with orange Dad: No it doesn't __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

01-25-23, 09:14 AM	#4013
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,122 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	My girlfriend just sent me a Facebook message saying: “helpmyspacebarbrokecanyoucomeoverandgivemeanalter native” Does anybody know what ‘ternative’ means? __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

01-25-23, 09:21 AM	#4014
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,122 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	The following conversation took place while on safari. Wife: Wow those hippos are really fat and ugly, are they relatives of yours? Me: Yeah, they’re my in-laws __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

01-26-23, 07:25 AM	#4015
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,122 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Have you heard about that new Muslim rock band from Saudi Arabia? They’re called the ‘Throwing Stones’. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

01-26-23, 07:33 AM	#4016
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,122 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	The following conversation took place in a job interview. Interviewer: We’re looking for someone who is responsible, do you fit that criteria? Me: Well in my last job when the store caught fire my boss said that I was responsible. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

01-27-23, 09:13 AM	#4017
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,122 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	My girlfriend told me this morning she doesn’t trust me. I guess that’s one more thing she has in common with my wife. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

01-27-23, 09:15 AM	#4018
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,122 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	The other day my girlfriend told me to take the spider out instead of killing it…. So we went out and had some drinks. He’s a cool guy, wants to become a web developer. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

01-28-23, 08:55 AM	#4019
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,122 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Ban pre-shredded cheese…. Make America grate again!! __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

01-28-23, 08:57 AM	#4020
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,122 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	If life gives you melons, you’re probably dyslexic. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)