The joke thread II - Page 126

Col7777 · 05-29-20, 02:01 AM

I keep telling everyone squirrels just won't stop attacking me.

They probably think I'm nuts.

Jimbuna · 05-29-20, 01:22 PM

My psychiatrist says I have a fear of speed bumps but now I’m slowly beginning to get over it.

Jimbuna · 05-29-20, 01:25 PM

The wife and I were sitting on the couch watching the TV and it was boring so I thought I’d start a conversation.

Me: How many men have you had in total?
Wife: Are sure you want to know?
Me: Yeh, go on.
Wife: 7.
Me (after a pause): so I was number 7.
Wife: no, you were number 2.

Platapus · 05-29-20, 01:27 PM

That is so wrong.

Col7777 · 05-30-20, 03:39 AM

I used to be poor... Then I bought a Thesaurus, and now I'm impecunious.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I suffer from exhibitionist tendencies.

I should get that looked at.

Jimbuna · 05-30-20, 05:54 AM

If the KKK think white people are so great why do they dress like Muslim Women?

Jimbuna · 05-30-20, 05:55 AM

The other day my wife asked me to buy her something to make her look nice so I went to the liquor store.

Col7777 · 05-30-20, 09:53 AM

Deleted!

Sorry not PG.

Eisenwurst · 05-30-20, 07:13 PM

Why did the chewing gum cross the road?

Cause it was stuck to the chicken's bum.

Texas Red · 05-30-20, 11:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Col7777

Q... "Have you ever had sex on a bouncy castle?"

A... "Yeah, but my wife doesn't like it when I call her that."

Col777, might wanna keep your posts PG btw.

Great joke anyways, that made me snort so loud

Col7777 · 05-31-20, 02:51 AM

Yes sorry I thought it might be a bit naughty I will delete it if I can.

Col.

mikesn9 · 05-31-20, 05:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Col7777

Yes sorry I thought it might be a bit naughty I will delete it if I can.

Col.

Why? Aren't we all adults here?
Besides that joke was a joke...enjoy some humor.

Col7777 · 05-31-20, 06:41 AM

My boss fired me for my fanatic long jumping.

So I came out of his office and cleared my desk.

Jimbuna · 05-31-20, 12:54 PM

Got a letter today through the post that was addressed to ‘The Occupier’ which was strange because there are no Israelis living here.

Jimbuna · 05-31-20, 12:55 PM

Psychic wanted: £200,000 per year offered including company car. Please email your CV to the address which appears in your crystal ball.

05-29-20, 02:01 AM	#1876
Col7777 Grey Wolf Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Manchester UK Posts: 944 Downloads: 260 Uploads: 0	I keep telling everyone squirrels just won't stop attacking me. They probably think I'm nuts. __________________ Silent and Violent

05-29-20, 01:22 PM	#1877
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 180,992 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	My psychiatrist says I have a fear of speed bumps but now I’m slowly beginning to get over it. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

05-29-20, 01:25 PM	#1878
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 180,992 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	The wife and I were sitting on the couch watching the TV and it was boring so I thought I’d start a conversation. Me: How many men have you had in total? Wife: Are sure you want to know? Me: Yeh, go on. Wife: 7. Me (after a pause): so I was number 7. Wife: no, you were number 2. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

05-29-20, 01:27 PM	#1879
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,928 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	That is so wrong. __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

05-30-20, 03:39 AM	#1880
Col7777 Grey Wolf Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Manchester UK Posts: 944 Downloads: 260 Uploads: 0	I used to be poor... Then I bought a Thesaurus, and now I'm impecunious. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I suffer from exhibitionist tendencies. I should get that looked at. __________________ Silent and Violent

05-30-20, 05:54 AM	#1881
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 180,992 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	If the KKK think white people are so great why do they dress like Muslim Women? __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

05-30-20, 05:55 AM	#1882
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 180,992 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	The other day my wife asked me to buy her something to make her look nice so I went to the liquor store. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

05-30-20, 09:53 AM	#1883
Col7777 Grey Wolf Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Manchester UK Posts: 944 Downloads: 260 Uploads: 0	Deleted! Sorry not PG. __________________ Silent and Violent Last edited by Col7777; 05-31-20 at 02:51 AM.

05-30-20, 07:13 PM	#1884
Eisenwurst Silent Hunter Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 3,585 Downloads: 58 Uploads: 0	Why did the chewing gum cross the road? Cause it was stuck to the chicken's bum. __________________

05-31-20, 02:51 AM	#1886
Col7777 Grey Wolf Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Manchester UK Posts: 944 Downloads: 260 Uploads: 0	Yes sorry I thought it might be a bit naughty I will delete it if I can. Col. __________________ Silent and Violent

05-31-20, 06:41 AM	#1888
Col7777 Grey Wolf Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Manchester UK Posts: 944 Downloads: 260 Uploads: 0	My boss fired me for my fanatic long jumping. So I came out of his office and cleared my desk. __________________ Silent and Violent

05-31-20, 12:54 PM	#1889
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 180,992 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Got a letter today through the post that was addressed to ‘The Occupier’ which was strange because there are no Israelis living here. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

05-31-20, 12:55 PM	#1890
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 180,992 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Psychic wanted: £200,000 per year offered including company car. Please email your CV to the address which appears in your crystal ball. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)