The joke thread II - Page 280

Jimbuna · 03-28-23, 06:04 AM

When I was a child my mother had an affair with a demolition man, he was a real home-wrecker.

Jimbuna · 03-28-23, 06:32 AM

I used to have a job working at a garage fitting tires but I couldn’t handle the pressure.

Platapus · 03-28-23, 04:37 PM

My boss was yelling about how he hates lazy people

I asked him why, they don't do anything.

Jimbuna · 03-29-23, 05:55 AM

I recently got an alcohol tester fitted to my wallet to make sure I don’t drink too much when I’m driving. It’s a picture of my wife, when she starts looking good I know I’ve had too much.

Jimbuna · 03-29-23, 06:03 AM

Did you hear about the soldier who survived being attacked by mustard gas and pepper spray.

He’s now become a seasoned veteran.

Jimbuna · 03-30-23, 07:52 AM

Have you heard about those new mobile phones for deaf people?
They’re called ‘eye-phones’.

Jimbuna · 03-30-23, 08:00 AM

Yo mama so stupid, she thought taco bell was a Mexican phone company

Platapus · 03-30-23, 04:56 PM

Why be a pessimist?

It probably won't work out well.

Jimbuna · 03-31-23, 05:25 AM

I’ve just Wrote a really awesome song about fajitas… Well it’s more of a wrap really.

Jimbuna · 03-31-23, 05:28 AM

Yo Mama’s so fat, when she tried to commit suicide by jumping from a building, all the people said “NO! DON’T DO IT! HAVE MERCY ON THE GROUND!”

Platapus · 03-31-23, 05:01 PM

Mary Jones was arrested today for running a confidence game by selling a so called immortality drug.

When police ran her record they found out she had been arrested for the same crime in 1995, 1923, 1890, and 1802

Jimbuna · 04-01-23, 06:36 AM

Hi,

I feel so dirty right now, PLEASE DO ME!

Love,

The Dishes

Jimbuna · 04-01-23, 06:39 AM

The following conversation took place between a husband and wife while in bed.

Husband: “Honey I think your mum tried to have sex with me last night! ”
Wife: “That’s impossible, she’s on holiday!”
Husband: “Oh ok, well maybe you should wear more makeup then!”

Jimbuna · 04-02-23, 04:59 AM

Yo mama is so poor she can’t even pay attention.

Jimbuna · 04-02-23, 05:01 AM

I love self checkout machines at supermarkets. Just got a 40″ TV for the same price as a bag of apples.

03-28-23, 06:04 AM	#4186
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,102 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	When I was a child my mother had an affair with a demolition man, he was a real home-wrecker. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

03-28-23, 06:32 AM	#4187
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,102 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	I used to have a job working at a garage fitting tires but I couldn’t handle the pressure. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

03-28-23, 04:37 PM	#4188
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,939 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	My boss was yelling about how he hates lazy people I asked him why, they don't do anything. __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

03-29-23, 05:55 AM	#4189
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,102 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	I recently got an alcohol tester fitted to my wallet to make sure I don’t drink too much when I’m driving. It’s a picture of my wife, when she starts looking good I know I’ve had too much. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

03-29-23, 06:03 AM	#4190
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,102 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Did you hear about the soldier who survived being attacked by mustard gas and pepper spray. He’s now become a seasoned veteran. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

03-30-23, 07:52 AM	#4191
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,102 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Have you heard about those new mobile phones for deaf people? They’re called ‘eye-phones’. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

03-30-23, 08:00 AM	#4192
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,102 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Yo mama so stupid, she thought taco bell was a Mexican phone company __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

03-30-23, 04:56 PM	#4193
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,939 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	Why be a pessimist? It probably won't work out well. __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

03-31-23, 05:25 AM	#4194
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,102 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	I’ve just Wrote a really awesome song about fajitas… Well it’s more of a wrap really. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

03-31-23, 05:28 AM	#4195
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,102 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Yo Mama’s so fat, when she tried to commit suicide by jumping from a building, all the people said “NO! DON’T DO IT! HAVE MERCY ON THE GROUND!” __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

03-31-23, 05:01 PM	#4196
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,939 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	Mary Jones was arrested today for running a confidence game by selling a so called immortality drug. When police ran her record they found out she had been arrested for the same crime in 1995, 1923, 1890, and 1802 __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

04-01-23, 06:36 AM	#4197
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,102 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Hi, I feel so dirty right now, PLEASE DO ME! Love, The Dishes __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

04-01-23, 06:39 AM	#4198
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,102 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	The following conversation took place between a husband and wife while in bed. Husband: “Honey I think your mum tried to have sex with me last night! ” Wife: “That’s impossible, she’s on holiday!” Husband: “Oh ok, well maybe you should wear more makeup then!” __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

04-02-23, 04:59 AM	#4199
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,102 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Yo mama is so poor she can’t even pay attention. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

04-02-23, 05:01 AM	#4200
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,102 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	I love self checkout machines at supermarkets. Just got a 40″ TV for the same price as a bag of apples. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)