2019 Subsim Fantasy Football Season - Page 2

Gut Wrench · 11-25-19, 11:25 PM

Best Game of the Year
...closest score ever!.

Week Twelve in the Subsim Fantasy Football league. You know the playoffs are just around the corner, but this week, we had to wait until the final whistle late Monday night before we would know where the top five teams would be ranked. That's right - the top 5 teams positioning was undecided until the final play of Monday night - and even then, we needed to go back and correctly aligned the teams before we go send this report to the presses.

Let's hear about this wild game being dubbed the best game of the year - right after we hear about these two important messages.

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When things are on the line, and the playoffs are just a couple of weeks away, rest assure, the Guns of Hochuli are going to show up, regardless of who their opposition is. This week the Drunk Monkeys hosted the Gunners. There had been speculation that Coach Thad (Monkeys) and Coach Casey (Gunners had actually gone an an all expenses paid vacation to the honeymoon capital of the world - Niagara Falls; but those rumors were put to rest when Coach Casey picked up three (3) players form the waiver wire, including Kareen Hunt (RB) Coach Casey really needed to pick up four in order to replace their kicker Harrison Butker (K) Butker was serving a one game suspension for eating too much ice cream at the team table. Monkeys, having been eliminated form the play offs, were wanting to play spoiler and it was in this role that this first game hinged on Stefan Diggs (WR) who was also serving a similar suspension. With both teams without their full compliment of players Monkeys jumped out early with Deshawn Watson (QB) who threw for 298 yards. Being just two yards short would be a theme for the weekend when Carson Wenzt (QB) finally took the field for the Gunners and had a miserable game scoring just 11 points. With the Monkeys leading it would come down to the Gunners booming receiving corps to drag the Gunners ahead of the Monkeys. Even with Justin Tucker (K) * playing on Monday night, the Gunners cruised to an easy win over the Drunk Monkeys 147 - 104. Their appearance and waiver claims this week has implications for the two teams in the next game.

In the Carolina's, Coach FYC and the Black Cats were hosting the Australian Taipans as they take on the longest away game series of the year. The Black Cats have set records going this far into the regular season as the Undisputed Ghost Team of the Year, ironically, displacing the Drunk Monkeys. You got the feeling early on that this was not going to be close after Matt Ryan (QB) scored 11 points for the game for the Cats, while Lamar Jackson (QB) had 20 points by the end of the first quarter for the Taipans. Having been unceremoniously beaten earlier in the season, the Taipans returned to fine form with a right royal skinning of the Cats. Were it not for George Kittle (TE) scoring 30 points on Sunday night, this would have been the largest margin of defeat in the history of the league. Final score: the Australian Taipans run away with the win against the Black Cats 179 -78.

And that leaves us with one game. This is the game that the world will talk about for years as the best game of Subsim Fantasy Football ever. But it's result could quite easily have been revered - we'll get to that in a moment.

The Who Dat Nation had slowly kept pace with the Helmand Nighthawks throughout the season, until the realization set in that they were only one game behind, but, behind on the countback having lost three times to divisional opponents. The Nations path to the playoffs required a win over the Nighthawks. The Nighthawks were on a two week losing streak and really needed to cement their place in the post season with the win. Late Sunday morning Mister Chris made four (4) changes to his team - but the one change he did not make was Bill Maher (K) and New England (DEF). This was only the second rookie mistake of the season, the last having been played by their opponent, the Who Dat Nation, the week before. While it wasn't a big loss in points, Maher (K) did take points away from the Nighthawks defense. Would that come into play?

Nighthawks started strong on Sunday morning but the Who Dat Nation came back and retook the lead shortly before lunch. The lead would swap three more times on Sunday and leaved the two teams in a battle with less that 2 points between them. Come Monday night, the Nation only had Mark Andrews (TE) to match up against the Nighthawks Cooper Kupp (WR). The lead changes twice during the Monday night. Andrews had a long 38 yard catch to give the Nation the lead, but Cupp. wasn't done. With just 2:13 remaining in the week. Cupp caught one last catch...for a whole 2 yards. If Cupp had gotten 3 yards, the end result would favor the Nighthawks. The shortage by Cupp plus the playing of Maher(K) and New England (D) would cost the Nighthawks the chance to wrap up the regular season and cement the #1 seed. As it was, these two teams set the closest score in the history of our game, beating the previous margin of win of 0.8 points set three (3) years ago. In the best game of the year, the Who Dat Nation scrape home against the Helmand Nighthawks, 164.14 - 163.98, a difference of 0.16.

Well done to both teams. But we have to talk about the impact of this game across the league. There are only two weeks left in the regular season and we still have a mess. Let's start at the bottom, and then come back to the top.

The Drunk Monkeys continue with their record losing season and are currently placed 6th. They have been eliminated form the playoffs.

Back to the top where it gets a little messy.

The Helmand Nighthawks still retain the league lead, but have not yet clinched a play off spot. They could fall out of the playoffs in the last two weeks.

The Who Dat Nation divisional record puts them in a hole if they need to go to the countback. They need to win their last two games and have some help to finish as the top seed. If they don't get it, they could fall out of of the playoffs in the last two weeks.

The Guns of Hochuli lead the Sub Simmers division by a game, but, they have not yet clinched. Their main opposition is one game behind them and they still have to play them again. The Gunners could fall out of the playoffs in the last two weeks.

The Black Cats are the best damm Ghost team ever, but that doesn't mean very much if they don't make the playoffs. While holding a divisional advantage over the Who Dat Nation, they can still win the division, and they could fall out of the playoffs in the last two weeks.

The Australian Taipans are the last team on the ladder, living week by week. At best, they could be the #2 team, but, they could also fall out of the playoffs in the last two weeks.

All five teams are subject to falling out of the playoffs in the last two weeks. But if they win, well, there's too many variables at the moment to begin forecasting final positions. We'll have a better idea after next week.

As we head into the longest weekend of the football for the year, both the two international teams must travel to the United States as we celebrate Thanksgiving. This year, Thanksgiving occurs during Week 13 of the regular season, and someone's goose will be cooked this week. Their goose in fact could be finished by Thursday evening. We'll be covering the Guns of Hochuli hosting the Who Dat Nation. Following the events of this week, these two teams could be fighting it out for the #1 seeding in the post season, or, they could also be trying to avoid being the second team eliminated. That's how close the tail end of this regular season has been. It has been wild, but we're not done with it yet.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

Though the Nighthawks and Nations game was the marque matchup of the year, the marque player of the week did not come from that game. For the effort of 7 receptions for 184 yards and 2 touchdowns, for a total of 43.40 points, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) are proud to present the Week Twelve MVT to Chris Goodwin (WR) of the Guns of Hochuli.

*Wow. Two kicker references in the one paragraph!

Gut Wrench · 12-02-19, 11:33 PM

Gunners Clinched Division
Two more clinch play off berths.

Week Thirteen in the Subsim Fantasy Football league. This was the longest week of football, no matter whether you team won or loss. For there was no team that won from the outset, there was no team who were behind from the start of the week, and most results were not decided until late in the week.

We'll go around the grounds one by one and see where your favorite team ended up, and the implications that this has for the play off seeding. And we'll do that right after this message.

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Last week the Helmand Nighthawks earned a record they didn't want - the smallest losing margin in the history of the league. That "hiccup" for the Nighthawks suddenly brought the entire league into a muddled mess. With a chance to close out the regular season as the #1 seed, they were unable to do it. This week the Nighthawks traveled to the Carolina's where the Black cats have shown they are now they best damm ghost team in the history of the league with their 6-6 record. The Cats were needing to get by the Nighthawks to make the play offs as their fantastic start to the season was now coming back to earth with a 3 game losing streak. Once again, we saw the Black Cats start two (2) players already ruled out of the season with genital herpes, but the Cats insist on starting their scabs. Matt Ryan (QB) was impressive for the Cats as they took an early lead on Thanksgiving Day, but the juggernaut of the Nighthawks were not going to be denied. Although the Nighthawks may be looking for a new kicker after Bill Maher (K) missed a field goal, the Nighthawks came to town to play for the post season. Lead by Aaron Rodgers (QB) the Nighthawks just rolled right through the Cats litter box and went on to earn a well deserved 141 - 122 win, to right their ship as they head into the final week. The win elevates the Nighthawks to the top of the league ladder, but they would have to wait on another game to know if the owned the leagues this year ... again.

Oregon was the state for the Who Dat Nation hosting the Guns of Hochuli. The Who Dat Nation had ever so quietly kept pace with the Helmand Nighthawks throughout the season until they suddenly appeared and in contention for the league regular season winner. The Gunners, even more quietly, have made minimal changes to their team that included only their 7th change when they added Todd Gurley (RB) to the team. The Nation were on fire on Thanksgiving Day as Drew Brees (QB) once again lit up the scoreboard. This time, the Gunners sounded their bugles that they were not going to away as Carson Wenzt (QB) put in one of his finest performances of the season,. As the game went into Sunday the Gunners stole the lead away from the Nation when Gurley (RB) showed why he was added to the team as he rushed for 95 yards and a TD. The Gunners cemented the weekend when Devonte Hopkins (WR) passed for a TD late Sunday night. The Gunners cruised to an easy victory over the Who Dat Nation 150 - 105, and solidified their claim on the second strongest team in the league.

The final game of the week was one that carried no television broadcast - which turned out to be good thing given the embarrassment that the Taipans suffered at the hands of the Drunk Monkeys. The Monkeys have only one win this season as the second ghost team Their sole win came against the league leaders, and surely they couldn't win again? Having been eliminated from the playoffs, the Monkeys had nothing to loose playing spoiler. And spoil they did.

The Taipans started no one on Thanksgiving Day as the Monkeys were again, playing one started down. The Taipans suffered an indignation starting the Jets (DEF) and the Monkeys saw an opportunity to seize the lead. With outstanding playing from Deshawn Watson the Monkeys pummeled the Taipans but the for the valiant effort of Julian Edelmann (WR) to keep the game close. They only needed until the second quarter on Monday night for Stefan Diggs to get his first catch of the game to record the Monkeys second win of the season and their first win at home. In an defeat that will be talked about in two weeks time as the playoffs begin, the Taipans lost a game they had no business losing. Final score Drunk Monkeys 123 - Australian Taipans 118.

Wow. Week thirteen has certainly turned the league on it's head, and has significant implications for the playoffs. Let's start with the division where it's a little clearer - the Sub Simmers.

The win by the Drunk Monkeys does nothing for their cause except bragging rights. They were eliminated weeks ago and will finish out the season as the #6 team. No amount of wins or losses will change that.

The win by the Guns of Hochuli means that they are the first team to lock in to the playoffs. The win elevates the Gunners to 7-5 and with a two game lead, the Gunners become the first team to win a division. The Gunners will head into the post season as either the #1 or the #2 seed.

The loss by the Taipans puts them on the cusp of elimination. At 6-7 the Taipans must win next week to ensure they advance to the playoffs, or else, they go into a countback situation. As we predicted weeks ago, this is the team with the most to loose, having lost some games they had no business doing so.

Let's look at the Surface Skimmers division where the play off picture is a little more muddle.

The Helmand Nighthawks win elevates them to 9-4 and ensures they have a play off berth - which seeding they have is still undecided. The Nighthawks play the Drunk Monkeys next week where they are expected to win - however, one of the two Monkeys win this year has come against the Nighthawks. The Nighthawks will go into the playoffs as either the #1 or #3 seed.

The loss by the Who Dat Nation drops them back one game behind the Nighthawks at 8-4. The loss does secure them a playoff seeding, at worst as the #3 seed. But, they can still win the division. The Nation plays the Black Cats next week, their divisional rival, and in order to get to the countback, the Nation needs to win over the Black Cats and have the Nighthawks loose.

The third team in the Surface Skimmers division are the Black Cats. The Black cats are tied with the Taipans with a record of 6-7 and must win over the Nation - and then have some help, in order to make the playoffs. The Cats can only rise to the #4 seed, but a loss will eliminate them from the playoffs either on win loss record, or on a countback. As such, the Black Cats when they travel to Oregon to face the Who Dat Nation is our Match of the Week. With the potential #1 and elimination riding on the outcome, it's bound to be the best damm ghost appearance by the Cats.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

If ever there was a time for a player to show up, it was this week. For the effort of 243 yards, 3passing TD's, 1 reception for 6 yards and a recieving TD for a total of 33.36 points, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) are proud to present the Week Thirteen MVT to Deshawn Watson (QB) of the Drunk Monkeys.

Gut Wrench · 12-09-19, 11:58 PM

Nighthawks Stumble
Playoffs Decided By Countbacks (Multiples)

Week Fourteen in the Subsim Fantasy Football league, and if you put your money on the favorites this week, you lost. We'll find out how the league leaders stumbled in the final game of the regular season to a team they had no business losing to - for a second time in four weeks. We'll find out which team backed their way into the playoffs after losing on the last play of the weekend and going to the countback, and we'll talk about the two teams that have just stormed through the league in the past four weeks, who will be meeting each other in the first round of the playoffs.

And if you thought you knew who was going to finish where, well, you and your crystal ball better come and put a team together because in the last thirty (30) minutes of football this weekend, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) had to rewrite and recalculate the final seeding five (5) times.

But before we do any of that, and just in case there's an Antonio Brown story looming, here's the most important message you need to hear today.

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When you're the "big dog" in the league, everyone wants to knock you off. Including the team with the leagues worst record. It's embarrassing when you loose to them once, but to do it a second time just weeks later - when the playoffs are on the line? Makes you question whether the Nighthawks can go all the way. Playing at home and still seething after recent losses where they lost to the Drunk Monkeys and had the smallest losing margin in the history of the league, the Nighthawks were hosting the Monkeys back in merry old England where you would think they would steamroll over them. Hold the phone though. This year we've been talking about the Black Cats possible being the best damm ghost team in the league - well the Monkeys put paid to that by defeating the league ladders for the second time in a few weeks. And this wasn't just a narrow win, this was a win of significant margin to disrupt the betting on the Nighthawks. At Wembley Stadium, where the Nighthawks have been unbeatable, The Drunk Monkeys defeat the home side 135 - 105. The Nighthawks secured a playoff berth last week, but the loss this week will need two (2) other games to be completed before final seeding.

In Oregon, our Match of the Day was the Who Dat Nation hosting the Black Cats. The Black Cats have exemplified "irritating", winning games this season they had no business doing so. The Who Dat Nation suffered at the hands of the Black Cats earlier in the season putting them in the position where they would have to go through the countback sequence with the league leaders. The Nation came ready ready to play, lead by Drew Brees (QB) who individually put up 56.06 points. And the Nation were going to need it 'cause the Black Cats brought their A game. Matt Ryan (QB) responded in kind with a 30.82 response, but that additional 20 points by Brees for the Nation would be the deciding factor. The Cats were valiant chasing down the Nation but ultimately fell short. Final score in Oregon, the Who Dat Nation win 158 - 134. The Nation would be waiting on the result of our final game for their final seeding.

The Guns of Hochuli had already secured the Sub Simmers division, the Australian Taipans were reminisce of the NFC (L)East, fighting for their lives with a possible losing record to make the playoffs. The Gunners started strong taking an early lead on Thursday with minimal points, but it was the Taipans running game that allowed them to retake the lead Sunday morning. The Gunners fired back with Austin Ekeler (RB) putting on an outstanding performance Sunday afternoon. The Taipans were marginally behind the Gunners with just Carson Wenzt (QB) to play for the Gunners and Zac Ertz (TE) for the Taipans. The Taipans closed the gap to within 1 point, and it looked like we were going to have another narrow margin winning performance, in this high scoring game. At the end of regulation time, the Gunners held a narrow three (3) point margin. On the last play of the weekend, Wenzt (QB) threw, surpassing 300 yards, to Ertz (TE) who didn't reach 100 yards. Guns of Hochuli win a thrilling high scoring game 187 - 176.

So with all those results and the implications therein, we have to take this apart piece by piece in order to achieve the right seeding. We'll start with what we knew before this weekend.

The Drunk Monkeys finish the regular season with three wins (two against the Nighthawks) and were eliminated from the playoffs beforehand. Their position doesn't change, they get grandstand tickets to the playoffs.

Everything else is up for grabs.

Now, before we get started, a moment to take note. The countback rules have been in place since the league started. This is the first time in the history of the league we've had to use this many countbacks to establish the final seedings. In previous years, it's been one or two teams. This year, five teams are in countback for four play off positions. Let's roll the dice and find who misses out.

The regular season ends with the Helmand Nighthawks, Who Dat Nation and Guns of Hochuli at 9-5. Three teams who last week ensured they had a play off position but their seeding was not yet established. The Guns of Hochuli won the Sub Simmers division last week, so they are either the #1 or the #2 team. The Helmand Nighthawks and the Who Dat Nation are in the same division, so that's where our first countback begins. The Who Dat Nation have a 3-3 divisional record while the Helmand Nighthawks have a 4-2 divisional record. This drops the Who Dat Nation down to the #3 seed, but we still haven't established the #1 seed. The Guns of Hochuli have an equal divisional record of 4-2, so we have to go the second countback; total points scored for the season. The Nighthawks, prior to this week, held almost a 300 point lead in total points scored for the season over the Guns of Hochuli, so this week, despite their loss, hold a reduced margin of total points. This gives us the #1 seed for the playoffs of the Helmand Nighthawks, who hold home field advantage. The Gunners remain divisional winners and ensure they are the #2 seed.

Let's jump down to the #4 seed where the Black Cats and the Australian Taipans are tied at 6-8. The divisional winning percentage is ignored as they are neither in the same division nor contending for the Divisional Winner, so we go to back to total points scored. The Australian Taipans despite having the same record, held a 300 point lead in total points scored for the season, which like the Nighthawks, was never going to change. The Black Cats needed to win to get in, and on the countback, fall to the #5 seed, and get to watch the playoffs from the grandstands with the Drunk Monkeys. The Australian Taipans slither through the backdoor to take the #4 seed.

Alright, now that we have the seedings, let's look at the matchups. The Helmand Nighthawks, rightfully, as the #1 seed, host the #4 seed the Australian Taipans at Wembley Stadium. Both teams in the last three weeks have lost to the Drunk Monkeys, the lowest scoring team in the league, but these two teams represent the highest scoring teams in the league. A repeat of last years Torpedo Bowl, this should be a shoot out.

The Guns of Hochuli get to wait for the Who Dat Nation to come across the country. These two teams have been the hot hand in the past few weeks, and if you go back to the early weeks, if they had a slight change of luck, these two teams would b the matchup for the Torpedo Bowl. Alas, only one will go on, the other will play in the Consolation Series.

But we'll have all the actions from both games next week, when we find out who gets to go to the Torpedo Bowl.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

There were some outstanding performances this week, but only one performance that set the seedings. Had this player rushed for just 1 yard less, three of the four seedings would not have gone to countback. For the effort of 101 rushing yards, 4 reception for 112 yards and a receiving TD for a total of 43.30 points, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) are proud to present the Week Fourteen MVT to Austine Eckler (RB) of the Guns of Hochuli.

Gut Wrench · 12-16-19, 11:12 PM

Gunners Shock Win
Nighthawks In A(nother) Thriller

Week Fifteen in the Subsim Fantasy Football league. It's the first week of the playoffs and the last week to advance to the Torpedo Bowl. We'll cover both games, with a special love for the Nighthawks and Taipans game

The Black Cats and the Drunk Monkeys got the week off to prepare for the Toilet Bowl Game, so they were, naturally, in Las Vegas. So let's delve deep into the games that were played, right after this important message.

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The #2 seed Guns of Hochuli were hosting the Oregon based Who Dat Nation #3 seed. The Nation had outscored the Gunners throughout the regular season, but lost on a countback to the Nighthawks. Relegated to the Consolation Series, the Nation had to go on the road. The Gunners had ever so quietly advanced through the Sub Simmers Division to take a throttle hold on the Divisional a couple of weeks out from the end of the regular season, but had to wait out other games. That lack of prominence plays into the Gunners "quiet achievement" game as they hosted the "sing and dancing" Nation. Carson Wendzt (QB) was impressive for the Gunners, but it was their receiving corps that really shone this week. By late Sunday they had amassed an impressive lead, and even with the Who Dat Nation having stacked their team for a late Monday night charge, it may have been a record breaking night for Drew Brees (QB) but it wasn't enough to advance. Trailing by over 100 points the Nation would need a(nother) miracle if they were going to come from that far back. The chase byt eh Nation wasn't enough and in the end, the Gunners ran out winners to advance to the Torpedo Bowl. Final score, Guns of Hochuli 173 - Who Dat Nation 153.

So lets change our focus on the other match up of the weekend. First their background. The Helmand Nighthawks were the dominating team all year until the final weeks when they fell to the worst team in the league, (twice) the Drunk Monkeys. The Australian Taipans despite their sub .500% record, had a positive for and against, but they too also fell to the Drunk Monkeys, costing them the #2 seed. The Taipans have set the lowest losing margin (12 points) in the history of the league for the second consecutive year. They traveled to England and Lamar Jackson just lit up the scoreboard on Thursday. The Nighthawks benched Aaron Rodgers (QB) for Jimmy Garapollo (QB) and that almost cost them the game. With a poor performance at QB, the Nighthawks barely managed to get in front of the Taipans by the end of Sunday morning. The Taipans came back Sunday afternoon to have a narrow lead, but it was the last second touchdown catch of Cooper Kupp (WR) that cemented the win for the Nighthawks. Even with William Lutz (K) playing on Monday night, the TD by Cupp (WR) was too big for the Taipans to kick over. Having no players on Monday, the Nighthawks had to wait out Lutz(K) before the could celebrate, and the Taipans to mourn yet another close loss. Final Score The Helmand Nighthawks 161 defeated the Australian Taipans 151.

So what does that mean. Pack your Guns, Hochuli, you're going to England as the two divisional winners go head to head in the Torpedo Bowl. They only met once in the regular season and the Nighthawks ran out almost 90 point winners.

The Who Dat Nation after traveling across the country, get to come home and host the Australian Taipans for the bronze medal. The Who Dat Nation and the Taipans met twice during the regular season, with the Nation winning both games.

In the Toilet Bowl, we go to Carolina where the Black Cats will host the Drunk Monkeys. The Monkeys met the Cats twice during the regular season and lost both, however, unlike the Black cats, the Drunk Monkeys defeated the league leaders, the Helmand Nighthawks, twice during the regular season. It might even be worth watching this game.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

Some of our best performances of the year came from teams that lost this week. T'was hard to pinpoint a single player - but we found one. For the effort of 11 receptions for 142 yards for a total of 31.20 points, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) are proud to present the Week Fifteen MVT to Travis Kelce (TE) of the Guns of Hochuli, making for back to back wins by the Gunners.

Gut Wrench · 12-23-19, 11:33 PM

Guns of Hochuli Win Torpedo Bowl
...another record margin against Nighthawk.

Week Sixteen in the Subsim Fantasy Football league, and it's the final week of the year. Sixteen regular season games have come to an end and the second of the two playoff games have closed, and do we have one of the best Torpedo Bowl finals...ever. In 10 years of Subsim Fantasy Football, never have we had what happened in Wembley, England occurred.

We go around the games starting at the bottom and work our way up to the one game that represents Subsim Fantasy Football. And we'll do all that right after this message.

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Let's start with the Toilet Bowl.

After yet another year where we didn't see Coach Thad, we have to ask if he and Coach FYC were using the same technique. The Monkeys had a woeful season, with their only highlight being two wins against the regular season winner, the Helmand Nighthawks. Coach FYC on the other hand with his absence was in the hunt from the first game as they established themselves as the best damm Ghost team in the league. Last week the two teams had the bye and this week they met in Carolina where it was no contest. The Cats got all their starters back, including Sequain Barkley who single handed demolished the Drunk Monkey opposition. The Drunk Monkeys were valiant but the Cats just put up too many points. In hindsight, the Black Cats quite possibly could have been playing in the Torpedo Bowl, had Coach FYC bothered to show up (again). As it was, the Black Cats easily accounted for the Drunk Monkeys 180 - 98.

Our Bronze medal Game was the Who Dat Nation hosting the Australian Taipans. Let's talk about how they got here. The Taipans lead the Sub Simmers Division for the first three weeks before releasing it to the Guns of Hochuli, and never getting it back. They went on to find new ways to loose to put up a second consecutive year of narrowest losing margins. They also proved you can find the #1 player in the waiver, but if your wide receivers don't catch the ball, you wont win the season. The Who Dat nation trailed the Helmand Nighthawks week after week through the regular season, losing divisional games which hampered their run into the playoffs. After a narrow loss to the Divisional winner, the Nation were forced into the lower bracket, where they lost to the Gunners. There would be no repeating that this week as the Who Dat Nation of Michael Thomas (WR) and Alvin Kamara (RB) easily accounted for the sub .500% team of the Australian Taipans. While the Taipans were able to add some respectability to yhe score late Sunday night and Monday, it was never going to be a "miracle". In Oregon, the Who Dat Nation for the third time this year, accounting for the Austrlaian Taipans, defeating them 173 - 132.

And now.... the Grand Finale.

Last year, the Guns of Hochuli were the lowest finishing team, a shock to the dynasty of the Gunners. This year they came to play, ever so quietly and without fanfare. They took the lead of the Subsimmers Division in Week Four and lead the entire regular season by a game. As the #2 seed, they accounted for the visiting Who Dat Nation, and set sail to to England to meet their opponent.

The Helmand Nighthawks, the team that Bill Belichick once said "wished I coached them" is the powerhouse of the league. From the first week they lead, but this year, they were closely pursued. In the last few weeks of the regular season, they almost lost their dynasty, falling to the lowest team in the league twice, and then, losing in the closest margin ever recorded in the history of our sport. It couldn't possible happen again, could it?

Gunners stacked their team to play late Sunday, so the Nighthawks went ahead early with Jimmy Garrapolo (QB), but the points scoring just wasn't there. When Deandrew White (WR) caught just one catch for one yard for the Nighthawks, you wondered if this game was going to be a boil-over. Mister Chris is not that easily swayed, as Christian McCaffrey (RB) bolstered the Nighthawks score. On last Saturday, the Gunners took a narrow lead. It would all come down to Sunday. The two teams went back and forth, trading the lead with whoever had the ball. The Nighthawks had no one playing Sunday afternoon and the Gunners had held back for the primetime. It would be the final catch of Tyree Hill (TE) for 1.4 points that would give the Guns of Hochuli a narrow lead, which they would hold until full time. In the closest scoring game of all time, the record having only been reset earlier in the month, the Guns of Hochuli become the 2019 Torpedo Bowl Champions, defeating the Helmand Nighthawks, 121.86 to 121.72. The margin lowers the closest wining score to 0.14 points - that's a yard and an inch. One yard and one inch was the difference between Gold and Silver in the Torpedo Bowl. Absolutely outstanding fantasy football played by both teams.

Congratulations to the Guns of Hochuli on their second win in the league.

Come back tomorrow as we complete the tally of votes and announce the 2019 All Star Team

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

Historically, the winner of the Week Sixteen award has come from the Torpedo Bowl, but with the record lowering effort, it was one player in another game, the Toilet Bowl, that shone the brightest

For the effort of 189 rushing yards with a rushing touchdown, and 4 receptions for 90 yards for a total of 49.90 points, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) are proud to present the Week Sixteen MVT to Sequain Berkley (RB) of the Black Cats.

Gut Wrench · 12-25-19, 12:24 AM

2019 All Star Team Named.
Honoring a childhood of 50 years.

It's that time of year folks. The votes have been tallied, the lobby is over, the decision have been made and what is left are the biggest and brightest starts of our league. Some of these players didn't have a winning record, but they continued to top the charts of our league scoring week after week.

Each year, the All Star Team is names after after an icon, a figure so easily recognizable that no Google search is needed. An icon so associated with goodness and purity, everything that Subsim Fantasy Football represents. While we could have gone with a much larger, and yellow person, the grime of the game essentially chose the All Star name itself.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you, the 2019 All Star Team

THE CAROLL SPINNEY GROUCHES

Starting Line up:

QB: Lamar Jackson (Australian Taipans)
WR: Michael Thomas (Who Dat Nation)
Chris Godwin (Guns of Hochuli)
Cooper Kupp (Helmand Nighthawks)
RB:Christian McCaffrey (Helmand Nighthawks)
Aaron Jones (Australian Taipans)
TE: Travis Kelce (Guns of Hochuli)
K:Will Lutz (Australian Taipans)
DEF: New England (Helmand Nighthawks)

Bench:

Dak Prescott (Who Dat Nation)
Julio Jones (Black Cats)
Ezekiel Elliott (Drunk Monkeys)
Greg Kittle (Black Cats)
Justn Tucker (Drunk Monkeys)
Pittsburg (Who Dat Nation

There you have it folks, as voted by your writers covering the greatest fantasy sport in the world.

It's Christmas Eve in the US, and while the rest of the world has already had a visit from "The Fat Man", The Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) wish you and your families a safe and Merry Christmas.

We'll put this column to bed and dust it off in July next year when we'll welcome you back to sixteen of the most frustrating weeks of the year -where you can win a Championship by the narrowest of margins.

We look forward to see you for the 2019 season.

11-25-19, 11:25 PM	#16
Gut Wrench Chief Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Everywhere Posts: 321 Downloads: 0 Uploads: 0	Best Game of the Year ...closest score ever!. Week Twelve in the Subsim Fantasy Football league. You know the playoffs are just around the corner, but this week, we had to wait until the final whistle late Monday night before we would know where the top five teams would be ranked. That's right - the top 5 teams positioning was undecided until the final play of Monday night - and even then, we needed to go back and correctly aligned the teams before we go send this report to the presses. Let's hear about this wild game being dubbed the best game of the year - right after we hear about these two important messages. DONATE TO SUBSIM...AND NOMINATE SUBSIM FANTASY FOOTBALL FOR BEST OF SUBSIM. When things are on the line, and the playoffs are just a couple of weeks away, rest assure, the Guns of Hochuli are going to show up, regardless of who their opposition is. This week the Drunk Monkeys hosted the Gunners. There had been speculation that Coach Thad (Monkeys) and Coach Casey (Gunners had actually gone an an all expenses paid vacation to the honeymoon capital of the world - Niagara Falls; but those rumors were put to rest when Coach Casey picked up three (3) players form the waiver wire, including Kareen Hunt (RB) Coach Casey really needed to pick up four in order to replace their kicker Harrison Butker (K) Butker was serving a one game suspension for eating too much ice cream at the team table. Monkeys, having been eliminated form the play offs, were wanting to play spoiler and it was in this role that this first game hinged on Stefan Diggs (WR) who was also serving a similar suspension. With both teams without their full compliment of players Monkeys jumped out early with Deshawn Watson (QB) who threw for 298 yards. Being just two yards short would be a theme for the weekend when Carson Wenzt (QB) finally took the field for the Gunners and had a miserable game scoring just 11 points. With the Monkeys leading it would come down to the Gunners booming receiving corps to drag the Gunners ahead of the Monkeys. Even with Justin Tucker (K) * playing on Monday night, the Gunners cruised to an easy win over the Drunk Monkeys 147 - 104. Their appearance and waiver claims this week has implications for the two teams in the next game. In the Carolina's, Coach FYC and the Black Cats were hosting the Australian Taipans as they take on the longest away game series of the year. The Black Cats have set records going this far into the regular season as the Undisputed Ghost Team of the Year, ironically, displacing the Drunk Monkeys. You got the feeling early on that this was not going to be close after Matt Ryan (QB) scored 11 points for the game for the Cats, while Lamar Jackson (QB) had 20 points by the end of the first quarter for the Taipans. Having been unceremoniously beaten earlier in the season, the Taipans returned to fine form with a right royal skinning of the Cats. Were it not for George Kittle (TE) scoring 30 points on Sunday night, this would have been the largest margin of defeat in the history of the league. Final score: the Australian Taipans run away with the win against the Black Cats 179 -78. And that leaves us with one game. This is the game that the world will talk about for years as the best game of Subsim Fantasy Football ever. But it's result could quite easily have been revered - we'll get to that in a moment. The Who Dat Nation had slowly kept pace with the Helmand Nighthawks throughout the season, until the realization set in that they were only one game behind, but, behind on the countback having lost three times to divisional opponents. The Nations path to the playoffs required a win over the Nighthawks. The Nighthawks were on a two week losing streak and really needed to cement their place in the post season with the win. Late Sunday morning Mister Chris made four (4) changes to his team - but the one change he did not make was Bill Maher (K) and New England (DEF). This was only the second rookie mistake of the season, the last having been played by their opponent, the Who Dat Nation, the week before. While it wasn't a big loss in points, Maher (K) did take points away from the Nighthawks defense. Would that come into play? Nighthawks started strong on Sunday morning but the Who Dat Nation came back and retook the lead shortly before lunch. The lead would swap three more times on Sunday and leaved the two teams in a battle with less that 2 points between them. Come Monday night, the Nation only had Mark Andrews (TE) to match up against the Nighthawks Cooper Kupp (WR). The lead changes twice during the Monday night. Andrews had a long 38 yard catch to give the Nation the lead, but Cupp. wasn't done. With just 2:13 remaining in the week. Cupp caught one last catch...for a whole 2 yards. If Cupp had gotten 3 yards, the end result would favor the Nighthawks. The shortage by Cupp plus the playing of Maher(K) and New England (D) would cost the Nighthawks the chance to wrap up the regular season and cement the #1 seed. As it was, these two teams set the closest score in the history of our game, beating the previous margin of win of 0.8 points set three (3) years ago. In the best game of the year, the Who Dat Nation scrape home against the Helmand Nighthawks, 164.14 - 163.98, a difference of 0.16. Well done to both teams. But we have to talk about the impact of this game across the league. There are only two weeks left in the regular season and we still have a mess. Let's start at the bottom, and then come back to the top. The Drunk Monkeys continue with their record losing season and are currently placed 6th. They have been eliminated form the playoffs. Back to the top where it gets a little messy. The Helmand Nighthawks still retain the league lead, but have not yet clinched a play off spot. They could fall out of the playoffs in the last two weeks. The Who Dat Nation divisional record puts them in a hole if they need to go to the countback. They need to win their last two games and have some help to finish as the top seed. If they don't get it, they could fall out of of the playoffs in the last two weeks. The Guns of Hochuli lead the Sub Simmers division by a game, but, they have not yet clinched. Their main opposition is one game behind them and they still have to play them again. The Gunners could fall out of the playoffs in the last two weeks. The Black Cats are the best damm Ghost team ever, but that doesn't mean very much if they don't make the playoffs. While holding a divisional advantage over the Who Dat Nation, they can still win the division, and they could fall out of the playoffs in the last two weeks. The Australian Taipans are the last team on the ladder, living week by week. At best, they could be the #2 team, but, they could also fall out of the playoffs in the last two weeks. All five teams are subject to falling out of the playoffs in the last two weeks. But if they win, well, there's too many variables at the moment to begin forecasting final positions. We'll have a better idea after next week. As we head into the longest weekend of the football for the year, both the two international teams must travel to the United States as we celebrate Thanksgiving. This year, Thanksgiving occurs during Week 13 of the regular season, and someone's goose will be cooked this week. Their goose in fact could be finished by Thursday evening. We'll be covering the Guns of Hochuli hosting the Who Dat Nation. Following the events of this week, these two teams could be fighting it out for the #1 seeding in the post season, or, they could also be trying to avoid being the second team eliminated. That's how close the tail end of this regular season has been. It has been wild, but we're not done with it yet. Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance. Though the Nighthawks and Nations game was the marque matchup of the year, the marque player of the week did not come from that game. For the effort of 7 receptions for 184 yards and 2 touchdowns, for a total of 43.40 points, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) are proud to present the Week Twelve MVT to Chris Goodwin (WR) of the Guns of Hochuli. *Wow. Two kicker references in the one paragraph!

12-02-19, 11:33 PM	#17
Gut Wrench Chief Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Everywhere Posts: 321 Downloads: 0 Uploads: 0	Gunners Clinched Division Two more clinch play off berths. Week Thirteen in the Subsim Fantasy Football league. This was the longest week of football, no matter whether you team won or loss. For there was no team that won from the outset, there was no team who were behind from the start of the week, and most results were not decided until late in the week. We'll go around the grounds one by one and see where your favorite team ended up, and the implications that this has for the play off seeding. And we'll do that right after this message. DONATE TO SUBSIM...AND NOMINATE SUBSIM FANTASY FOOTBALL FOR BEST OF SUBSIM. Last week the Helmand Nighthawks earned a record they didn't want - the smallest losing margin in the history of the league. That "hiccup" for the Nighthawks suddenly brought the entire league into a muddled mess. With a chance to close out the regular season as the #1 seed, they were unable to do it. This week the Nighthawks traveled to the Carolina's where the Black cats have shown they are now they best damm ghost team in the history of the league with their 6-6 record. The Cats were needing to get by the Nighthawks to make the play offs as their fantastic start to the season was now coming back to earth with a 3 game losing streak. Once again, we saw the Black Cats start two (2) players already ruled out of the season with genital herpes, but the Cats insist on starting their scabs. Matt Ryan (QB) was impressive for the Cats as they took an early lead on Thanksgiving Day, but the juggernaut of the Nighthawks were not going to be denied. Although the Nighthawks may be looking for a new kicker after Bill Maher (K) missed a field goal, the Nighthawks came to town to play for the post season. Lead by Aaron Rodgers (QB) the Nighthawks just rolled right through the Cats litter box and went on to earn a well deserved 141 - 122 win, to right their ship as they head into the final week. The win elevates the Nighthawks to the top of the league ladder, but they would have to wait on another game to know if the owned the leagues this year ... again. Oregon was the state for the Who Dat Nation hosting the Guns of Hochuli. The Who Dat Nation had ever so quietly kept pace with the Helmand Nighthawks throughout the season until they suddenly appeared and in contention for the league regular season winner. The Gunners, even more quietly, have made minimal changes to their team that included only their 7th change when they added Todd Gurley (RB) to the team. The Nation were on fire on Thanksgiving Day as Drew Brees (QB) once again lit up the scoreboard. This time, the Gunners sounded their bugles that they were not going to away as Carson Wenzt (QB) put in one of his finest performances of the season,. As the game went into Sunday the Gunners stole the lead away from the Nation when Gurley (RB) showed why he was added to the team as he rushed for 95 yards and a TD. The Gunners cemented the weekend when Devonte Hopkins (WR) passed for a TD late Sunday night. The Gunners cruised to an easy victory over the Who Dat Nation 150 - 105, and solidified their claim on the second strongest team in the league. The final game of the week was one that carried no television broadcast - which turned out to be good thing given the embarrassment that the Taipans suffered at the hands of the Drunk Monkeys. The Monkeys have only one win this season as the second ghost team Their sole win came against the league leaders, and surely they couldn't win again? Having been eliminated from the playoffs, the Monkeys had nothing to loose playing spoiler. And spoil they did. The Taipans started no one on Thanksgiving Day as the Monkeys were again, playing one started down. The Taipans suffered an indignation starting the Jets (DEF) and the Monkeys saw an opportunity to seize the lead. With outstanding playing from Deshawn Watson the Monkeys pummeled the Taipans but the for the valiant effort of Julian Edelmann (WR) to keep the game close. They only needed until the second quarter on Monday night for Stefan Diggs to get his first catch of the game to record the Monkeys second win of the season and their first win at home. In an defeat that will be talked about in two weeks time as the playoffs begin, the Taipans lost a game they had no business losing. Final score Drunk Monkeys 123 - Australian Taipans 118. Wow. Week thirteen has certainly turned the league on it's head, and has significant implications for the playoffs. Let's start with the division where it's a little clearer - the Sub Simmers. The win by the Drunk Monkeys does nothing for their cause except bragging rights. They were eliminated weeks ago and will finish out the season as the #6 team. No amount of wins or losses will change that. The win by the Guns of Hochuli means that they are the first team to lock in to the playoffs. The win elevates the Gunners to 7-5 and with a two game lead, the Gunners become the first team to win a division. The Gunners will head into the post season as either the #1 or the #2 seed. The loss by the Taipans puts them on the cusp of elimination. At 6-7 the Taipans must win next week to ensure they advance to the playoffs, or else, they go into a countback situation. As we predicted weeks ago, this is the team with the most to loose, having lost some games they had no business doing so. Let's look at the Surface Skimmers division where the play off picture is a little more muddle. The Helmand Nighthawks win elevates them to 9-4 and ensures they have a play off berth - which seeding they have is still undecided. The Nighthawks play the Drunk Monkeys next week where they are expected to win - however, one of the two Monkeys win this year has come against the Nighthawks. The Nighthawks will go into the playoffs as either the #1 or #3 seed. The loss by the Who Dat Nation drops them back one game behind the Nighthawks at 8-4. The loss does secure them a playoff seeding, at worst as the #3 seed. But, they can still win the division. The Nation plays the Black Cats next week, their divisional rival, and in order to get to the countback, the Nation needs to win over the Black Cats and have the Nighthawks loose. The third team in the Surface Skimmers division are the Black Cats. The Black cats are tied with the Taipans with a record of 6-7 and must win over the Nation - and then have some help, in order to make the playoffs. The Cats can only rise to the #4 seed, but a loss will eliminate them from the playoffs either on win loss record, or on a countback. As such, the Black Cats when they travel to Oregon to face the Who Dat Nation is our Match of the Week. With the potential #1 and elimination riding on the outcome, it's bound to be the best damm ghost appearance by the Cats. Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance. If ever there was a time for a player to show up, it was this week. For the effort of 243 yards, 3passing TD's, 1 reception for 6 yards and a recieving TD for a total of 33.36 points, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) are proud to present the Week Thirteen MVT to Deshawn Watson (QB) of the Drunk Monkeys.

12-09-19, 11:58 PM	#18
Gut Wrench Chief Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Everywhere Posts: 321 Downloads: 0 Uploads: 0	Nighthawks Stumble Playoffs Decided By Countbacks (Multiples) Week Fourteen in the Subsim Fantasy Football league, and if you put your money on the favorites this week, you lost. We'll find out how the league leaders stumbled in the final game of the regular season to a team they had no business losing to - for a second time in four weeks. We'll find out which team backed their way into the playoffs after losing on the last play of the weekend and going to the countback, and we'll talk about the two teams that have just stormed through the league in the past four weeks, who will be meeting each other in the first round of the playoffs. And if you thought you knew who was going to finish where, well, you and your crystal ball better come and put a team together because in the last thirty (30) minutes of football this weekend, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) had to rewrite and recalculate the final seeding five (5) times. But before we do any of that, and just in case there's an Antonio Brown story looming, here's the most important message you need to hear today. DONATE TO SUBSIM...AND NOMINATE SUBSIM FANTASY FOOTBALL FOR BEST OF SUBSIM. When you're the "big dog" in the league, everyone wants to knock you off. Including the team with the leagues worst record. It's embarrassing when you loose to them once, but to do it a second time just weeks later - when the playoffs are on the line? Makes you question whether the Nighthawks can go all the way. Playing at home and still seething after recent losses where they lost to the Drunk Monkeys and had the smallest losing margin in the history of the league, the Nighthawks were hosting the Monkeys back in merry old England where you would think they would steamroll over them. Hold the phone though. This year we've been talking about the Black Cats possible being the best damm ghost team in the league - well the Monkeys put paid to that by defeating the league ladders for the second time in a few weeks. And this wasn't just a narrow win, this was a win of significant margin to disrupt the betting on the Nighthawks. At Wembley Stadium, where the Nighthawks have been unbeatable, The Drunk Monkeys defeat the home side 135 - 105. The Nighthawks secured a playoff berth last week, but the loss this week will need two (2) other games to be completed before final seeding. In Oregon, our Match of the Day was the Who Dat Nation hosting the Black Cats. The Black Cats have exemplified "irritating", winning games this season they had no business doing so. The Who Dat Nation suffered at the hands of the Black Cats earlier in the season putting them in the position where they would have to go through the countback sequence with the league leaders. The Nation came ready ready to play, lead by Drew Brees (QB) who individually put up 56.06 points. And the Nation were going to need it 'cause the Black Cats brought their A game. Matt Ryan (QB) responded in kind with a 30.82 response, but that additional 20 points by Brees for the Nation would be the deciding factor. The Cats were valiant chasing down the Nation but ultimately fell short. Final score in Oregon, the Who Dat Nation win 158 - 134. The Nation would be waiting on the result of our final game for their final seeding. The Guns of Hochuli had already secured the Sub Simmers division, the Australian Taipans were reminisce of the NFC (L)East, fighting for their lives with a possible losing record to make the playoffs. The Gunners started strong taking an early lead on Thursday with minimal points, but it was the Taipans running game that allowed them to retake the lead Sunday morning. The Gunners fired back with Austin Ekeler (RB) putting on an outstanding performance Sunday afternoon. The Taipans were marginally behind the Gunners with just Carson Wenzt (QB) to play for the Gunners and Zac Ertz (TE) for the Taipans. The Taipans closed the gap to within 1 point, and it looked like we were going to have another narrow margin winning performance, in this high scoring game. At the end of regulation time, the Gunners held a narrow three (3) point margin. On the last play of the weekend, Wenzt (QB) threw, surpassing 300 yards, to Ertz (TE) who didn't reach 100 yards. Guns of Hochuli win a thrilling high scoring game 187 - 176. So with all those results and the implications therein, we have to take this apart piece by piece in order to achieve the right seeding. We'll start with what we knew before this weekend. The Drunk Monkeys finish the regular season with three wins (two against the Nighthawks) and were eliminated from the playoffs beforehand. Their position doesn't change, they get grandstand tickets to the playoffs. Everything else is up for grabs. Now, before we get started, a moment to take note. The countback rules have been in place since the league started. This is the first time in the history of the league we've had to use this many countbacks to establish the final seedings. In previous years, it's been one or two teams. This year, five teams are in countback for four play off positions. Let's roll the dice and find who misses out. The regular season ends with the Helmand Nighthawks, Who Dat Nation and Guns of Hochuli at 9-5. Three teams who last week ensured they had a play off position but their seeding was not yet established. The Guns of Hochuli won the Sub Simmers division last week, so they are either the #1 or the #2 team. The Helmand Nighthawks and the Who Dat Nation are in the same division, so that's where our first countback begins. The Who Dat Nation have a 3-3 divisional record while the Helmand Nighthawks have a 4-2 divisional record. This drops the Who Dat Nation down to the #3 seed, but we still haven't established the #1 seed. The Guns of Hochuli have an equal divisional record of 4-2, so we have to go the second countback; total points scored for the season. The Nighthawks, prior to this week, held almost a 300 point lead in total points scored for the season over the Guns of Hochuli, so this week, despite their loss, hold a reduced margin of total points. This gives us the #1 seed for the playoffs of the Helmand Nighthawks, who hold home field advantage. The Gunners remain divisional winners and ensure they are the #2 seed. Let's jump down to the #4 seed where the Black Cats and the Australian Taipans are tied at 6-8. The divisional winning percentage is ignored as they are neither in the same division nor contending for the Divisional Winner, so we go to back to total points scored. The Australian Taipans despite having the same record, held a 300 point lead in total points scored for the season, which like the Nighthawks, was never going to change. The Black Cats needed to win to get in, and on the countback, fall to the #5 seed, and get to watch the playoffs from the grandstands with the Drunk Monkeys. The Australian Taipans slither through the backdoor to take the #4 seed. Alright, now that we have the seedings, let's look at the matchups. The Helmand Nighthawks, rightfully, as the #1 seed, host the #4 seed the Australian Taipans at Wembley Stadium. Both teams in the last three weeks have lost to the Drunk Monkeys, the lowest scoring team in the league, but these two teams represent the highest scoring teams in the league. A repeat of last years Torpedo Bowl, this should be a shoot out. The Guns of Hochuli get to wait for the Who Dat Nation to come across the country. These two teams have been the hot hand in the past few weeks, and if you go back to the early weeks, if they had a slight change of luck, these two teams would b the matchup for the Torpedo Bowl. Alas, only one will go on, the other will play in the Consolation Series. But we'll have all the actions from both games next week, when we find out who gets to go to the Torpedo Bowl. Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance. There were some outstanding performances this week, but only one performance that set the seedings. Had this player rushed for just 1 yard less, three of the four seedings would not have gone to countback. For the effort of 101 rushing yards, 4 reception for 112 yards and a receiving TD for a total of 43.30 points, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) are proud to present the Week Fourteen MVT to Austine Eckler (RB) of the Guns of Hochuli.

12-16-19, 11:12 PM	#19
Gut Wrench Chief Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Everywhere Posts: 321 Downloads: 0 Uploads: 0	Gunners Shock Win Nighthawks In A(nother) Thriller Week Fifteen in the Subsim Fantasy Football league. It's the first week of the playoffs and the last week to advance to the Torpedo Bowl. We'll cover both games, with a special love for the Nighthawks and Taipans game The Black Cats and the Drunk Monkeys got the week off to prepare for the Toilet Bowl Game, so they were, naturally, in Las Vegas. So let's delve deep into the games that were played, right after this important message. DONATE TO SUBSIM...AND NOMINATE SUBSIM FANTASY FOOTBALL FOR BEST OF SUBSIM. The #2 seed Guns of Hochuli were hosting the Oregon based Who Dat Nation #3 seed. The Nation had outscored the Gunners throughout the regular season, but lost on a countback to the Nighthawks. Relegated to the Consolation Series, the Nation had to go on the road. The Gunners had ever so quietly advanced through the Sub Simmers Division to take a throttle hold on the Divisional a couple of weeks out from the end of the regular season, but had to wait out other games. That lack of prominence plays into the Gunners "quiet achievement" game as they hosted the "sing and dancing" Nation. Carson Wendzt (QB) was impressive for the Gunners, but it was their receiving corps that really shone this week. By late Sunday they had amassed an impressive lead, and even with the Who Dat Nation having stacked their team for a late Monday night charge, it may have been a record breaking night for Drew Brees (QB) but it wasn't enough to advance. Trailing by over 100 points the Nation would need a(nother) miracle if they were going to come from that far back. The chase byt eh Nation wasn't enough and in the end, the Gunners ran out winners to advance to the Torpedo Bowl. Final score, Guns of Hochuli 173 - Who Dat Nation 153. So lets change our focus on the other match up of the weekend. First their background. The Helmand Nighthawks were the dominating team all year until the final weeks when they fell to the worst team in the league, (twice) the Drunk Monkeys. The Australian Taipans despite their sub .500% record, had a positive for and against, but they too also fell to the Drunk Monkeys, costing them the #2 seed. The Taipans have set the lowest losing margin (12 points) in the history of the league for the second consecutive year. They traveled to England and Lamar Jackson just lit up the scoreboard on Thursday. The Nighthawks benched Aaron Rodgers (QB) for Jimmy Garapollo (QB) and that almost cost them the game. With a poor performance at QB, the Nighthawks barely managed to get in front of the Taipans by the end of Sunday morning. The Taipans came back Sunday afternoon to have a narrow lead, but it was the last second touchdown catch of Cooper Kupp (WR) that cemented the win for the Nighthawks. Even with William Lutz (K) playing on Monday night, the TD by Cupp (WR) was too big for the Taipans to kick over. Having no players on Monday, the Nighthawks had to wait out Lutz(K) before the could celebrate, and the Taipans to mourn yet another close loss. Final Score The Helmand Nighthawks 161 defeated the Australian Taipans 151. So what does that mean. Pack your Guns, Hochuli, you're going to England as the two divisional winners go head to head in the Torpedo Bowl. They only met once in the regular season and the Nighthawks ran out almost 90 point winners. The Who Dat Nation after traveling across the country, get to come home and host the Australian Taipans for the bronze medal. The Who Dat Nation and the Taipans met twice during the regular season, with the Nation winning both games. In the Toilet Bowl, we go to Carolina where the Black Cats will host the Drunk Monkeys. The Monkeys met the Cats twice during the regular season and lost both, however, unlike the Black cats, the Drunk Monkeys defeated the league leaders, the Helmand Nighthawks, twice during the regular season. It might even be worth watching this game. Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance. Some of our best performances of the year came from teams that lost this week. T'was hard to pinpoint a single player - but we found one. For the effort of 11 receptions for 142 yards for a total of 31.20 points, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) are proud to present the Week Fifteen MVT to Travis Kelce (TE) of the Guns of Hochuli, making for back to back wins by the Gunners.

12-23-19, 11:33 PM	#20
Gut Wrench Chief Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Everywhere Posts: 321 Downloads: 0 Uploads: 0	Guns of Hochuli Win Torpedo Bowl ...another record margin against Nighthawk. Week Sixteen in the Subsim Fantasy Football league, and it's the final week of the year. Sixteen regular season games have come to an end and the second of the two playoff games have closed, and do we have one of the best Torpedo Bowl finals...ever. In 10 years of Subsim Fantasy Football, never have we had what happened in Wembley, England occurred. We go around the games starting at the bottom and work our way up to the one game that represents Subsim Fantasy Football. And we'll do all that right after this message. NOMINATE SUBSIM FANTASY FOOTBALL FOR BEST OF SUBSIM. Let's start with the Toilet Bowl. After yet another year where we didn't see Coach Thad, we have to ask if he and Coach FYC were using the same technique. The Monkeys had a woeful season, with their only highlight being two wins against the regular season winner, the Helmand Nighthawks. Coach FYC on the other hand with his absence was in the hunt from the first game as they established themselves as the best damm Ghost team in the league. Last week the two teams had the bye and this week they met in Carolina where it was no contest. The Cats got all their starters back, including Sequain Barkley who single handed demolished the Drunk Monkey opposition. The Drunk Monkeys were valiant but the Cats just put up too many points. In hindsight, the Black Cats quite possibly could have been playing in the Torpedo Bowl, had Coach FYC bothered to show up (again). As it was, the Black Cats easily accounted for the Drunk Monkeys 180 - 98. Our Bronze medal Game was the Who Dat Nation hosting the Australian Taipans. Let's talk about how they got here. The Taipans lead the Sub Simmers Division for the first three weeks before releasing it to the Guns of Hochuli, and never getting it back. They went on to find new ways to loose to put up a second consecutive year of narrowest losing margins. They also proved you can find the #1 player in the waiver, but if your wide receivers don't catch the ball, you wont win the season. The Who Dat nation trailed the Helmand Nighthawks week after week through the regular season, losing divisional games which hampered their run into the playoffs. After a narrow loss to the Divisional winner, the Nation were forced into the lower bracket, where they lost to the Gunners. There would be no repeating that this week as the Who Dat Nation of Michael Thomas (WR) and Alvin Kamara (RB) easily accounted for the sub .500% team of the Australian Taipans. While the Taipans were able to add some respectability to yhe score late Sunday night and Monday, it was never going to be a "miracle". In Oregon, the Who Dat Nation for the third time this year, accounting for the Austrlaian Taipans, defeating them 173 - 132. And now.... the Grand Finale. Last year, the Guns of Hochuli were the lowest finishing team, a shock to the dynasty of the Gunners. This year they came to play, ever so quietly and without fanfare. They took the lead of the Subsimmers Division in Week Four and lead the entire regular season by a game. As the #2 seed, they accounted for the visiting Who Dat Nation, and set sail to to England to meet their opponent. The Helmand Nighthawks, the team that Bill Belichick once said "wished I coached them" is the powerhouse of the league. From the first week they lead, but this year, they were closely pursued. In the last few weeks of the regular season, they almost lost their dynasty, falling to the lowest team in the league twice, and then, losing in the closest margin ever recorded in the history of our sport. It couldn't possible happen again, could it? Gunners stacked their team to play late Sunday, so the Nighthawks went ahead early with Jimmy Garrapolo (QB), but the points scoring just wasn't there. When Deandrew White (WR) caught just one catch for one yard for the Nighthawks, you wondered if this game was going to be a boil-over. Mister Chris is not that easily swayed, as Christian McCaffrey (RB) bolstered the Nighthawks score. On last Saturday, the Gunners took a narrow lead. It would all come down to Sunday. The two teams went back and forth, trading the lead with whoever had the ball. The Nighthawks had no one playing Sunday afternoon and the Gunners had held back for the primetime. It would be the final catch of Tyree Hill (TE) for 1.4 points that would give the Guns of Hochuli a narrow lead, which they would hold until full time. In the closest scoring game of all time, the record having only been reset earlier in the month, the Guns of Hochuli become the 2019 Torpedo Bowl Champions, defeating the Helmand Nighthawks, 121.86 to 121.72. The margin lowers the closest wining score to 0.14 points - that's a yard and an inch. One yard and one inch was the difference between Gold and Silver in the Torpedo Bowl. Absolutely outstanding fantasy football played by both teams. Congratulations to the Guns of Hochuli on their second win in the league. Come back tomorrow as we complete the tally of votes and announce the 2019 All Star Team Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance. Historically, the winner of the Week Sixteen award has come from the Torpedo Bowl, but with the record lowering effort, it was one player in another game, the Toilet Bowl, that shone the brightest For the effort of 189 rushing yards with a rushing touchdown, and 4 receptions for 90 yards for a total of 49.90 points, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) are proud to present the Week Sixteen MVT to Sequain Berkley (RB) of the Black Cats.

12-25-19, 12:24 AM	#21
Gut Wrench Chief Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Everywhere Posts: 321 Downloads: 0 Uploads: 0	2019 All Star Team Named. Honoring a childhood of 50 years. It's that time of year folks. The votes have been tallied, the lobby is over, the decision have been made and what is left are the biggest and brightest starts of our league. Some of these players didn't have a winning record, but they continued to top the charts of our league scoring week after week. Each year, the All Star Team is names after after an icon, a figure so easily recognizable that no Google search is needed. An icon so associated with goodness and purity, everything that Subsim Fantasy Football represents. While we could have gone with a much larger, and yellow person, the grime of the game essentially chose the All Star name itself. Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you, the 2019 All Star Team THE CAROLL SPINNEY GROUCHES Starting Line up: QB: Lamar Jackson (Australian Taipans) WR: Michael Thomas (Who Dat Nation) Chris Godwin (Guns of Hochuli) Cooper Kupp (Helmand Nighthawks) RB:Christian McCaffrey (Helmand Nighthawks) Aaron Jones (Australian Taipans) TE: Travis Kelce (Guns of Hochuli) K:Will Lutz (Australian Taipans) DEF: New England (Helmand Nighthawks) Bench: Dak Prescott (Who Dat Nation) Julio Jones (Black Cats) Ezekiel Elliott (Drunk Monkeys) Greg Kittle (Black Cats) Justn Tucker (Drunk Monkeys) Pittsburg (Who Dat Nation There you have it folks, as voted by your writers covering the greatest fantasy sport in the world. It's Christmas Eve in the US, and while the rest of the world has already had a visit from "The Fat Man", The Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) wish you and your families a safe and Merry Christmas. We'll put this column to bed and dust it off in July next year when we'll welcome you back to sixteen of the most frustrating weeks of the year -where you can win a Championship by the narrowest of margins. We look forward to see you for the 2019 season.