The joke thread II - Page 278

Jimbuna · 03-19-23, 02:53 PM

I’m not bad at cooking or anything …but how long is pasta supposed to cook in the toaster?

Jimbuna · 03-20-23, 04:05 AM

Q. What was the first thing that Adam said when Eve was created?
A. “Ha ha ha, looks like yours has fallen off.”

Jimbuna · 03-20-23, 04:07 AM

The following conversation took place between 2 Irish men who decided to swap parters after a night of drinking.

Conor “That was a great idea swapping partners last night Paddy!”
Paddy “Yeah to be sure.. I wonder how the girls got on!”

Jimbuna · 03-21-23, 07:28 AM

When I was a kid my dad used to beat me with his camera, I still have flash-backs.

Jimbuna · 03-21-23, 07:32 AM

Yo momma is so fat, she sat on a TV and turned it into a flat-screen TV.

magic452 · 03-21-23, 11:32 PM

Good Ol Boy Bubba's best hunting dog goes missing for a week

and Bubba is concerned so his wife tells him to put an ad in the newspaper to help get the dog home.

After another two weeks with no response Bubba tells his wife that the ad was no help at all getting the dog back.

His wife asks him how he worded the ad in the newspaper and Bubba replies, "It said, 'Here boy!"

Magic

Jimbuna · 03-22-23, 06:39 AM

Q. What do you get if you insert human DNA into a chimpanzee?
A. Banned from the Zoo.

Jimbuna · 03-22-23, 06:39 AM

Did you hear about the Indian drug addict who went to intensive care after mixing curry power with cocaine? He’s now in a Korma.

Jimbuna · 03-23-23, 06:15 AM

Yo mama is so fat when she went swimming an Ocean Study Group said “Captain! Captain!, I found a blue whale.”

Jimbuna · 03-23-23, 06:16 AM

Just had a really big argument with my wife about going on holiday. I wanted to go to Paris, she wanted to come with me.

Tango589 · 03-23-23, 12:57 PM

Just a little update on the situation with my son because some of you have been pretty concerned. Thank you for that.

He's taken going to jail pretty hard. He's refusing all food, he's swearing and screaming and is highly unpleasant with anyone who comes near him.

He's graffitied the walls and is refusing to wear clothes.

As a family we're pretty united in our decision never to play Monopoly with him ever again 😀

mapuc · 03-23-23, 01:13 PM

I was like Oh my..what a terrible situation his son has got into.
What has he done to deserve this ?
The last line was real punchline.

Markus

Jimbuna · 03-23-23, 01:14 PM

Moved to joke thread.

Tango589 · 03-23-23, 02:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jimbuna

Moved to joke thread.

Cheers Jim, I should have thought of that first lol

Jimbuna · 03-23-23, 02:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tango589

Cheers Jim, I should have thought of that first lol

Not a problem bonny lad

03-19-23, 02:53 PM	#4156
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,127 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	I’m not bad at cooking or anything …but how long is pasta supposed to cook in the toaster? __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

03-20-23, 04:05 AM	#4157
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,127 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Q. What was the first thing that Adam said when Eve was created? A. “Ha ha ha, looks like yours has fallen off.” __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

03-20-23, 04:07 AM	#4158
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,127 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	The following conversation took place between 2 Irish men who decided to swap parters after a night of drinking. Conor “That was a great idea swapping partners last night Paddy!” Paddy “Yeah to be sure.. I wonder how the girls got on!” __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

03-21-23, 07:28 AM	#4159
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,127 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	When I was a kid my dad used to beat me with his camera, I still have flash-backs. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

03-21-23, 07:32 AM	#4160
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,127 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Yo momma is so fat, she sat on a TV and turned it into a flat-screen TV. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

03-21-23, 11:32 PM	#4161
magic452 Sea Lord Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Reno Nevada USA Posts: 1,860 Downloads: 85 Uploads: 0	Good Ol Boy Bubba's best hunting dog goes missing for a week and Bubba is concerned so his wife tells him to put an ad in the newspaper to help get the dog home. After another two weeks with no response Bubba tells his wife that the ad was no help at all getting the dog back. His wife asks him how he worded the ad in the newspaper and Bubba replies, "It said, 'Here boy!" Magic __________________ Reported lost 11 Feb. 1942 Signature by depthtok33l

03-22-23, 06:39 AM	#4162
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,127 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Q. What do you get if you insert human DNA into a chimpanzee? A. Banned from the Zoo. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

03-22-23, 06:39 AM	#4163
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,127 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Did you hear about the Indian drug addict who went to intensive care after mixing curry power with cocaine? He’s now in a Korma. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

03-23-23, 06:15 AM	#4164
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,127 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Yo mama is so fat when she went swimming an Ocean Study Group said “Captain! Captain!, I found a blue whale.” __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

03-23-23, 06:16 AM	#4165
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,127 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Just had a really big argument with my wife about going on holiday. I wanted to go to Paris, she wanted to come with me. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

03-23-23, 12:57 PM	#4166
Tango589 Still crazy as ever! Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: A little south of sanity Posts: 3,358 Downloads: 180 Uploads: 1	A brief update. Just a little update on the situation with my son because some of you have been pretty concerned. Thank you for that. He's taken going to jail pretty hard. He's refusing all food, he's swearing and screaming and is highly unpleasant with anyone who comes near him. He's graffitied the walls and is refusing to wear clothes. As a family we're pretty united in our decision never to play Monopoly with him ever again 😀 __________________ Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way...

03-23-23, 01:13 PM	#4167
mapuc Fleet Admiral Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Denmark Posts: 17,872 Downloads: 37 Uploads: 0	I was like Oh my..what a terrible situation his son has got into. What has he done to deserve this ? The last line was real punchline. Markus __________________ My little lovely female cat

03-23-23, 01:14 PM	#4168
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,127 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Moved to joke thread. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)