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Old 02-04-2018, 06:54 AM   #7861
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Old 02-04-2018, 07:24 AM   #7862
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Godun.
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Old 02-04-2018, 09:05 AM   #7863
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I may not know Karate, but I know crazy and I'm not afraid to use it.
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Old 02-08-2018, 08:17 AM   #7864
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A misty day does not signify a cloudy day, it signifies frizzy hair.
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Old 02-09-2018, 08:19 AM   #7865
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I don't have a drinking problem, I have a thirst problem.
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Old 02-11-2018, 08:31 AM   #7866
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Life always offers you a second chance. It's called tomorrow.
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Old 02-12-2018, 10:24 AM   #7867
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Last week, as my son and I waited for Moira in a big empty car park, we watched a couple of driving tutors introducing their female pupils to the basics of pedal control and steering.

I pointed to one of the cars and said that no matter how long he spent teaching her and despite anything he said, as soon as she got her own car she would do all she could to kill us with it.
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Old 02-12-2018, 12:23 PM   #7868
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Common sense is like deodorant, those who need it the most never use it.
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Old 02-12-2018, 03:11 PM   #7869
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Eichhörnchen View Post
Last week, as my son and I waited for Moira in a big empty car park, we watched a couple of driving tutors introducing their female pupils to the basics of pedal control and steering.

I pointed to one of the cars and said that no matter how long he spent teaching her and despite anything he said, as soon as she got her own car she would do all she could to kill us with it.
When I went for my first driving test to get my first driving license way back in 1967, just before my name was called for the test drive, there was a commotion over in the area used fro the parallel parking test; a young woman had successfully completed the test, but, when told to pull out of the area by the examiner, she got confused and gunned the engine in drive, taking out a light pole and scaring the bejezzus out of the examiner. All the other examiners in the building came rushing out to survey the scene, all aflutter. When my name was called, the examiner who got in the car with me was still shaken by the incident and was at abut Don Knotts level of nervous. He was so shaken, he actually flunked me right on the spot, without even getting out on the road or trying the parallel parking portion. I did, however, go back later and passed the exam, no problem...











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Old 02-12-2018, 05:50 PM   #7870
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Well I was delivering a bit of a backlash against the notion that women are almost all far better drivers than men. Apparently supported statistically by Insurance industry figures, I can only say that some of these statisticians ought to have been in my back seat when I've been mercilessly tailgated, pulled out on, narrowly missed by a car travelling the wrong way round a roundabout or screaming out of the fog with no lights on.

I hung back at a T-junction with a busy 'A' road recently to allow a driver who got there before me (but who was going to turn in the other direction) an unobstructed view both ways. This also meant that I could see when the nearside traffic had a nice gap in it to allow me to go past him on my own way. The gap duly appeared and I nipped out onto the main road only to suddenly become aware of a woman driver who'd evidently been waiting for the gap too, but who'd positioned her car right around the corner and against the kerbside. As I came out at a quick clip I took her for an oddly parked vehicle (perhaps broken down) until she started to move. As I went past she started bouncing up and down in a fury, while I did my best to mouth the words "you stupid cow" in the short time left before I disappeared.
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Old 02-12-2018, 07:36 PM   #7871
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Here in Los Angeles, the remarkable deficiencies in driving skills is evident in both sexes, all ages, and ethnicities. There seems to be a growing tendency for drivers to depend on their horns to give them leave to engage in whatever driving lunacy they choose; it sort of goes "What, you think you have the right of way because you entered the intersection first? And you think I should slow down to allow you to complete your transit safely? Well, I, good sir or madam, am in possession of a loud horn! Make way!..."...










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Old 02-12-2018, 08:03 PM   #7872
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I lived in Panama and drove an old M38 Jeep. It had an 'ooga' horn which grabbed the attention of all motorists and pedestrians wandering around Colon. Who needs stop signs when ya gotta 'ooga-ooga' horn.
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Old 02-12-2018, 09:22 PM   #7873
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I spent a summer in Central America back in 1965; in Managua, Nicaragua, at the time, the US had a very tight relationship with the ruling dictator Somoza, and his family; there was a lot of US and European business interests in and about the capital, mainly headquartered in a single area in Managua; in that area there were traffic lights, stop signs, etc., I guess to make the 'ajenos' feel ore at home in a strange land. The kicker was the office buildings let out at the same time each evening and, about an hour later, all the traffic signals were turned off, making for a real free-for-all for anyone driving through that area after-hours. Not that it really was any different than the rest of the city: in the non-foreigner parts of Managua, street signs were treated as mere suggestions, if they were regarded at all; I was once in a taxi that blew around a corner and and the cabbie proceeded the wrong way (at least the signs said so) down a one way street with blissful glee...

Talking about taxis in Managua reminds me of a quirk of the cabs; they were almost entirely Hillman sedans and had been fitted with automatic doors: if you flagged a cab down, it would zoom up to the curb and the passenger side rear door would fly open and you had to be quick to board; tarry a bit too long and the cabbie would trigger the automatic door closed and roar off in search of a more prompt fare; the automatic door was also a means of telling a local or a seasoned foreigner from a neophyte: those with experience with the cabs knew well enough to stand back a bit as the cab pulled up to the curb since the automatic door flying open would just flatten you if you stood too close; those who didn't were a never ending source of merriment for the locals...











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Old 02-13-2018, 06:29 AM   #7874
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Time was that you could see by the way I use my walk I'm a ladies man no time to talk. Now all you'll see is I have creasing lumbar pain
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Old 02-13-2018, 06:44 AM   #7875
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I've visited Santo Domingo on numerous occasions. Rather than taking a taxis it was more convenient to walk or bicycle to ones destination. I swear, it seemed the cabbies all worked for a local cat house. No matter where you told the driver to go they wanted to drop you off at one.
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