The joke thread II - Page 112

Platapus · 04-01-20, 05:34 PM

I don't understand why anyone would write with a dull pencil.

It's pointless

Jimbuna · 04-02-20, 07:31 AM

Some people say alcohol is dangerous but I disagree. The people on the Titanic didn’t die from drinking too much alcohol, they died from drinking too much water.

Jimbuna · 04-02-20, 07:38 AM

The Greek government has just reported that production of humus and taramasalata is down 50% since the start of the month. Looks like it’s going to be a double dip recession.

Catfish · 04-02-20, 07:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jimbuna

Some people say alcohol is dangerous but I disagree. The people on the Titanic didn’t die from drinking too much alcohol, they died from drinking too much water.

Not sure here.. from 4:20 on:

Very nice and subversive film, for the time

Jimbuna · 04-03-20, 09:55 AM

Did you hear about the Islamic terrorist who was arrested in Liverpool the other day?

His name was Ayaluf Roh-Bin Kaahs.

Jimbuna · 04-03-20, 09:58 AM

I was in the park the other day wondering why radio controlled air-planes get bigger the closer they get, and then it hit me.

Jimbuna · 04-04-20, 07:02 AM

Most people think that when you find a discarded coin in your house it got there by accident but I actually think it was brought there by spiders trying to pay you rent.

Jimbuna · 04-04-20, 07:18 AM

Just been told by my psychiatrist that i’m bipolar. Don’t know whether to laugh or cry.

Jimbuna · 04-05-20, 08:39 AM

I remember in the old days when instead of selfie sticks people used to have things called friends.

Jimbuna · 04-05-20, 08:44 AM

I remember in the old days when people used to get mad if you read their diary. Now people put everything online and get mad when you don’t read it.

Jimbuna · 04-06-20, 05:50 AM

Just made a new website for orphans, there’s no homepage.

Jimbuna · 04-06-20, 05:51 AM

Accordion to a recent survey 90% of people don’t notice when you replace words with the names of musical instruments.

Platapus · 04-06-20, 01:31 PM

Once this Corona thing is over, does that mean that people will go back to standing near me and trying to talk?

#socialdistancing4ever

Jimbuna · 04-07-20, 05:30 AM

I’ll never forget my granddad’s last words. “Are you holding that ladder properly?”

Jimbuna · 04-07-20, 05:33 AM

Just found out today that I’m colorblind… It really came out of the purple.

04-01-20, 05:34 PM	#1666
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,939 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	I don't understand why anyone would write with a dull pencil. It's pointless __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

04-02-20, 07:31 AM	#1667
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,102 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Some people say alcohol is dangerous but I disagree. The people on the Titanic didn’t die from drinking too much alcohol, they died from drinking too much water. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

04-02-20, 07:38 AM	#1668
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,102 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	The Greek government has just reported that production of humus and taramasalata is down 50% since the start of the month. Looks like it’s going to be a double dip recession. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

04-03-20, 09:55 AM	#1670
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,102 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Did you hear about the Islamic terrorist who was arrested in Liverpool the other day? His name was Ayaluf Roh-Bin Kaahs. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

04-03-20, 09:58 AM	#1671
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,102 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	I was in the park the other day wondering why radio controlled air-planes get bigger the closer they get, and then it hit me. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

04-04-20, 07:02 AM	#1672
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,102 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Most people think that when you find a discarded coin in your house it got there by accident but I actually think it was brought there by spiders trying to pay you rent. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

04-04-20, 07:18 AM	#1673
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,102 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Just been told by my psychiatrist that i’m bipolar. Don’t know whether to laugh or cry. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

04-05-20, 08:39 AM	#1674
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,102 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	I remember in the old days when instead of selfie sticks people used to have things called friends. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

04-05-20, 08:44 AM	#1675
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,102 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	I remember in the old days when people used to get mad if you read their diary. Now people put everything online and get mad when you don’t read it. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

04-06-20, 05:50 AM	#1676
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,102 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Just made a new website for orphans, there’s no homepage. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

04-06-20, 05:51 AM	#1677
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,102 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Accordion to a recent survey 90% of people don’t notice when you replace words with the names of musical instruments. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

04-06-20, 01:31 PM	#1678
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,939 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	Once this Corona thing is over, does that mean that people will go back to standing near me and trying to talk? #socialdistancing4ever __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.

04-07-20, 05:30 AM	#1679
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,102 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	I’ll never forget my granddad’s last words. “Are you holding that ladder properly?” __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

04-07-20, 05:33 AM	#1680
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,102 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Just found out today that I’m colorblind… It really came out of the purple. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)