Things that make you go Ahhh **** - Page 12

Missing Name · 02-01-11, 05:49 PM

...nope. If I get sunk, it's usually because I piss off the escorts.

Speaking of which, you take hit a cruiser in a convoy. Ok, escorts going the other way... time to take another shot at the big guy. Up scope... CHRIST! There's another escort you misidentified as a merchant on the 'phone! And Humphreys isn't happy in the SLIGHTEST and has just spotted your scope.

Mike Abberton · 02-02-11, 10:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hottentot

Another thing I love is the game's occasional amnesia. Sometimes when I have identified a few targets from the convoy and take aim at the first one, the game has suddenly forgotten the class of the ship and calls it just "cargo" or "tanker" again. So it doesn't let me measure the distance either. Which is, uh, quite an important part of firing solution.

Well fine. Take recognition manual again. Browse trough the pages. Slowly. Watch the target pass the point where I intended to send a few eels at him. Browse some more. No, it's not a coastal merchant or a sloop, it's a bloody tanker! Here, I found it!

...Nevermind, it's 2km away already.

I've found that the recognition manual is one of the few things that actually works while the game is paused. Unless it has something to do with my realism settings, you can probably pause, reset the target type, unpause, and confirm the range without losing the target.

Mike

VONHARRIS · 02-03-11, 06:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hottentot

SH3 is a weird game. Everytime I quit playing it I hate it for just the things like these. Everytime I swear I'll bury the disc to the ground and never dig it up again. And every time I'll come back to hate the same things. It's a marvelous sim.

Very well stated. I agree totaly.

Gereke · 02-03-11, 12:39 PM

First post here, so since I'm not full of questions I'll join the fireside and spin yarns of misfortune (or near misfortune).

Dark and stormy night somewhere out in the Atlantic. On the surface looking for a convoy I KNOW is there, and fairly close due to a hydrophone check I had done recently. Visibility is about zero, but I'm determined to sink something as it had been a very slow patrol....

Out of the darkness at point blank range I spot a DD coming straight at me. I crank it to all ahead flank and hard to port. The DD passes right behind me, narrowly missing a collision. It then disappeared into the darkness and I never heard a peep out of it. It must not have spotted me in the dark swells!

Next oh @$%@#$ happened while doing a patrol in my WarshipMod career. I'm patrolling the waters just North of Ireland in my Deutchland, looking for a convoy to ransack. It's early evening in perfect weather and flat seas. One of my watchmen calls out a contact and I grab my binoculars to have a peek. I see a Tribal Class DD heading towards me, and I think "Oh boy, easy kill!" However before committing my guns I decide to scan more to see if there was anything else worthy of note. Scan a few degrees behind the Tribal and suddenly spot HMS HOOD just as it fires it's forward batteries at me "OH ****!!"

Barely made it out of that one alive. Had to limp back to Wilhemshaven to explain why my ship was full of holes.

Jimbuna · 02-03-11, 07:29 PM

gazpode_l · 02-07-11, 08:54 PM

When you are just getting to the intercept point when you are told to pack it all away as it's 1:45am RL Time!!! WHY NOW does it have to get exciting???

Played for 3hrs tonight with sod all - then when it time to goto bed ready for RL job in morning I stumble across what could be a convoy!

Gargamel · 02-07-11, 09:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gazpode_l

When you are just getting to the intercept point when you are told to pack it all away as it's 1:45am RL Time!!! WHY NOW does it have to get exciting???

Played for 3hrs tonight with sod all - then when it time to goto bed ready for RL job in morning I stumble across what could be a convoy!

Pause, and leave running.

Walruss · 02-08-11, 01:36 AM

Best one for me was the first time I installed GWX Wilhelmshaven port mod... loved the look, only thing that puzzeled me was the locks... but I sat and watched, and as i approached an open one, from about 60 meters away it started to lose. Bugger that I thought, and ordered the hem 'Full speed ahead, and damn the giant moving slabs of concrete!'

I doubt my exec was surprised when the gates closed around the sub just behind the conning tower, and the next order was abandon ship. First patrol out, in that new career too... Feeling historical I abandoned it entirely - I figure poor Oberlt.z.s. Klaus is now swapping the decks of an aging collier somewhere dangerous these days...

On that note: Wouldn't it be nice if you could signal the control box to those tings? I always wind up playing around for a few minutes waiting for the gate to bloody open... be nice if I could radio ahead as i left the sub pen for them to be ready for me...

frau kaleun · 02-08-11, 04:32 PM

My first full patrol after finally getting a setup where I could use the new Willy mod... oh, I got out of there okay, but the way back in... oy.

I misjudged the timing on the outer gate and thought I could just squeak through but I was too far away when I started forward and it started to close and caught us just aft of the conning tower I think. When I realized what was happening I'd ordered all ahead flank hoping I could get just enough of a burst of speed to clear it and then order full stop to avoid ramming the gate at the other end.

No such luck. Terrible creaking and scraping and then crushing metal noises and then damage reports and then the horrible, horrible screams of my men... I switched to the ship cam and got a brief glimpse of my boat, the entire stern up ON TOP of the closed gates and the bow clearly rammed into the bottom of the channel, just before the OMG LULZ UR ALL DEAD screen came up. After seeing the mess I'd got us in all I could do was laugh.

God, I wish I'd been able to get a screenshot.

Gargamel · 02-08-11, 04:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by frau kaleun

My first full patrol after finally getting a setup where I could use the new Willy mod... oh, I got out of there okay, but the way back in... oy.

I misjudged the timing on the outer gate and thought I could just squeak through but I was too far away when I started forward and it started to close and caught us just aft of the conning tower I think. When I realized what was happening I'd ordered all ahead flank hoping I could get just enough of a burst of speed to clear it and then order full stop to avoid ramming the gate at the other end.

No such luck. Terrible creaking and scraping and then crushing metal noises and then damage reports and then the horrible, horrible screams of my men... I switched to the ship cam and got a brief glimpse of my boat, the entire stern up ON TOP of the closed gates and the bow clearly rammed into the bottom of the channel, just before the OMG LULZ UR ALL DEAD screen came up. After seeing the mess I'd got us in all I could do was laugh.

God, I wish I'd been able to get a screenshot.

So I guess those gate operators are real sadists eh?

frau kaleun · 02-08-11, 05:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gargamel

So I guess those gate operators are real sadists eh?

Yes, but at least they make the locks run on time.

"Ve haf a shkedyul! Zere vill be no changes in ze shkedyul!"

Lord_magerius · 02-08-11, 05:51 PM

Installed the same mod the other day. Leaving port, completely forgot about it, set a course on the navigation map and CRUNCH!

Missing Name · 02-08-11, 06:00 PM

You spent a bit plotting an intercept of a fast-moving convoy. NWN... okay. Your estimated time to contact is about 10 hours away... fine. You get there and notice that you misread the report, which actually said NNW. Whoops... you can't find it again.

frau kaleun · 02-08-11, 06:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lord_magerius

Installed the same mod the other day. Leaving port, completely forgot about it, set a course on the navigation map and CRUNCH!

Been there, done that.

The real killer is all the extra eye candy, makes me want to put 'er on auto-pilot and go to the external cam and look around. Oh hey look there's a thing over there moving around behind that other thing and ooooh look at that and wow, what is--

"Das boot ist beschädigt, Herr Kaleun!"

The one that really gets me though is when I get through the first gate and I'm sitting there waiting for the second one to open, which it seems will NEVER happen, so I decide to go explore the dockside and see what everyone's up to. And then I come back to the bridge or shipcam to see that the gate has in fact opened while was I was off rubbernecking and is now closing again.

Pappy55 · 02-08-11, 07:11 PM

I did an all time classic tonight.. i forgot there was only 22m ish depth under keel and when an ASW spotted my scope I orded crashdive..

I was lucky only to get away with minor dents in the hull and light damage that was repaired as fast as it was broke..

I did manage to get back to perriscope depth and "snap shoot" the aft torpedo and blew him out the water..

Half a bottle of beer for everyone

02-01-11, 05:49 PM	#166
Missing Name Seasoned Skipper Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: Westun New Yahk Posts: 748 Downloads: 131 Uploads: 0	...nope. If I get sunk, it's usually because I piss off the escorts. Speaking of which, you take hit a cruiser in a convoy. Ok, escorts going the other way... time to take another shot at the big guy. Up scope... CHRIST! There's another escort you misidentified as a merchant on the 'phone! And Humphreys isn't happy in the SLIGHTEST and has just spotted your scope. __________________ Largest target sunk with deck gun: Japanese auxiliary cruiser, 15000 tons Largest engaged: HMS Nelson. Results inconclusive. Read Brag's stuff

02-03-11, 07:29 PM	#170
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 181,086 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	__________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

02-08-11, 01:36 AM	#173
Walruss Soundman Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 144 Downloads: 126 Uploads: 0	Best one for me was the first time I installed GWX Wilhelmshaven port mod... loved the look, only thing that puzzeled me was the locks... but I sat and watched, and as i approached an open one, from about 60 meters away it started to lose. Bugger that I thought, and ordered the hem 'Full speed ahead, and damn the giant moving slabs of concrete!' I doubt my exec was surprised when the gates closed around the sub just behind the conning tower, and the next order was abandon ship. First patrol out, in that new career too... Feeling historical I abandoned it entirely - I figure poor Oberlt.z.s. Klaus is now swapping the decks of an aging collier somewhere dangerous these days... On that note: Wouldn't it be nice if you could signal the control box to those tings? I always wind up playing around for a few minutes waiting for the gate to bloody open... be nice if I could radio ahead as i left the sub pen for them to be ready for me... __________________ Lt. Z. S . Werner Krautsch Assigned: U-66 (IXc), 2nd Flot. 1. JAN 1941 Date: JAN 41 Patrols Completed: 0 Warships:0 Subs:0 Merchants: 0 Status: AT SEA

02-08-11, 05:51 PM	#177
Lord_magerius Seasoned Skipper Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Right by the hydrophone station Posts: 724 Downloads: 96 Uploads: 0	Installed the same mod the other day. Leaving port, completely forgot about it, set a course on the navigation map and CRUNCH! __________________

02-08-11, 06:00 PM	#178
Missing Name Seasoned Skipper Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: Westun New Yahk Posts: 748 Downloads: 131 Uploads: 0	You spent a bit plotting an intercept of a fast-moving convoy. NWN... okay. Your estimated time to contact is about 10 hours away... fine. You get there and notice that you misread the report, which actually said NNW. Whoops... you can't find it again. __________________ Largest target sunk with deck gun: Japanese auxiliary cruiser, 15000 tons Largest engaged: HMS Nelson. Results inconclusive. Read Brag's stuff

02-03-11, 12:39 PM	#169
Gereke A-ganger Join Date: Jan 2011 Posts: 76 Downloads: 61 Uploads: 0	First post here, so since I'm not full of questions I'll join the fireside and spin yarns of misfortune (or near misfortune). Dark and stormy night somewhere out in the Atlantic. On the surface looking for a convoy I KNOW is there, and fairly close due to a hydrophone check I had done recently. Visibility is about zero, but I'm determined to sink something as it had been a very slow patrol.... Out of the darkness at point blank range I spot a DD coming straight at me. I crank it to all ahead flank and hard to port. The DD passes right behind me, narrowly missing a collision. It then disappeared into the darkness and I never heard a peep out of it. It must not have spotted me in the dark swells! Next oh @$%@#$ happened while doing a patrol in my WarshipMod career. I'm patrolling the waters just North of Ireland in my Deutchland, looking for a convoy to ransack. It's early evening in perfect weather and flat seas. One of my watchmen calls out a contact and I grab my binoculars to have a peek. I see a Tribal Class DD heading towards me, and I think "Oh boy, easy kill!" However before committing my guns I decide to scan more to see if there was anything else worthy of note. Scan a few degrees behind the Tribal and suddenly spot HMS HOOD just as it fires it's forward batteries at me "OH ****!!" Barely made it out of that one alive. Had to limp back to Wilhemshaven to explain why my ship was full of holes.

02-07-11, 08:54 PM	#171
gazpode_l 中国水兵 Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Chelmsford, Essex Posts: 280 Downloads: 50 Uploads: 0	When you are just getting to the intercept point when you are told to pack it all away as it's 1:45am RL Time!!! WHY NOW does it have to get exciting??? Played for 3hrs tonight with sod all - then when it time to goto bed ready for RL job in morning I stumble across what could be a convoy!

02-08-11, 04:32 PM	#174
frau kaleun Rear Admiral Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Skyri--oh who are we kidding, I'm probably at Lowe's. Again. Posts: 12,706 Downloads: 168 Uploads: 0	My first full patrol after finally getting a setup where I could use the new Willy mod... oh, I got out of there okay, but the way back in... oy. I misjudged the timing on the outer gate and thought I could just squeak through but I was too far away when I started forward and it started to close and caught us just aft of the conning tower I think. When I realized what was happening I'd ordered all ahead flank hoping I could get just enough of a burst of speed to clear it and then order full stop to avoid ramming the gate at the other end. No such luck. Terrible creaking and scraping and then crushing metal noises and then damage reports and then the horrible, horrible screams of my men... I switched to the ship cam and got a brief glimpse of my boat, the entire stern up ON TOP of the closed gates and the bow clearly rammed into the bottom of the channel, just before the OMG LULZ UR ALL DEAD screen came up. After seeing the mess I'd got us in all I could do was laugh. God, I wish I'd been able to get a screenshot.

02-08-11, 07:11 PM	#180
Pappy55 Engineer Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Birmingham, UK Posts: 211 Downloads: 173 Uploads: 0	I did an all time classic tonight.. i forgot there was only 22m ish depth under keel and when an ASW spotted my scope I orded crashdive.. I was lucky only to get away with minor dents in the hull and light damage that was repaired as fast as it was broke.. I did manage to get back to perriscope depth and "snap shoot" the aft torpedo and blew him out the water.. Half a bottle of beer for everyone __________________