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Old 09-16-19, 09:02 AM   #8596
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I don't have the time or crayons to explain myself to you.
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Old 09-17-19, 12:14 PM   #8597
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If you're hotter than me, then that means I'm cooler than you.
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Old 09-18-19, 07:29 AM   #8598
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I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.
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Old 09-19-19, 06:23 AM   #8599
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I don't know how to act my age because I've never been this old before.
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Old 09-20-19, 07:03 AM   #8600
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I found the hotel with the most stars in the world. It has an open roof so you can see them all.
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Old 09-21-19, 06:53 AM   #8601
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Yes, money cannot buy you happiness, but I’d still feel a lot more comfortable crying in a new BMW than on a bike.
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Old 09-22-19, 07:12 AM   #8602
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Don’t be sad when a bird craps on your head. Be happy that dogs can’t fly.
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Old 09-23-19, 01:25 PM   #8603
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Single and ready to get nervous around anyone I find attractive.
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Old 09-24-19, 05:42 AM   #8604
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I proposed to my ex-wife. But she said no. She believes I’m just after my money.
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Old 09-25-19, 09:46 AM   #8605
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I am so broke, I can't even afford to fill up my bicycle.
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Old 09-26-19, 08:47 AM   #8606
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I just wanted you to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does.
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Old 09-27-19, 06:08 AM   #8607
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I lost some weight once, but I found it again in the fridge.
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Old 09-28-19, 06:43 AM   #8608
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Your idea is completely terrible... so what time shall we do it?
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Old 09-29-19, 06:58 AM   #8609
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Dance like nobody is watching, because they are not, they are all checking their phones.
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Oh my God, not again!!


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Old 09-30-19, 05:49 AM   #8610
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True love is truly amazing only when it's truly true.
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Oh my God, not again!!


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