The joke thread II - Page 206

Eisenwurst · 06-17-21, 05:11 PM

"I see", said the blind man.

As he peed into the wind.

"It's all coming back to me".

Jimbuna · 06-18-21, 07:26 AM

I’ve always thought my neighbours were quite nice people. But then they put a password on their Wi-Fi.

Jimbuna · 06-18-21, 11:52 AM

A man goes to the lawyer: “What is your fee?”

Lawyer says: “1000 US dollars for 3 questions.”

Man: “Wow - so much! Isn’t it a bit expensive?”

Lawyer: “Yes, what is your third question?”

Jimbuna · 06-19-21, 01:22 PM

What do you call a typo on a tombstone?

A grave mistake.

Jimbuna · 06-19-21, 01:23 PM

When I look at chocolate, I hear two voices in my head.

The first one says: “You need to eat that chocolate.”

The other voice goes: “You heard. Eat the chocolate.”

Eisenwurst · 06-19-21, 05:48 PM

Why does the Little Mermaid wear seashells?

Beacause she's too big for B shells.

Jimbuna · 06-20-21, 05:20 AM

My friend boasted he had the body of a Greek god. I had to explain where Buddha actually comes from.

Jimbuna · 06-20-21, 01:40 PM

Why is it a bad idea to insult an octopus?

Because it is well armed.

Jimbuna · 06-22-21, 01:41 PM

Man to his wife: “Do you know what our 6 year old son wants to be once he’s big?”

Wife: “No.”

Man: “A garbage man. And you know why?”

Wife: “No, why?”

Man: “Because he thinks they only work on Tuesdays.”

Jimbuna · 06-22-21, 01:43 PM

In a boutique:

Could I try the dress in the shop window, please?

I’m sorry madam but no. We have cabins for that.

Eisenwurst · 06-23-21, 12:21 AM

what do you call a guy that's half Indian?

Ian.

Jimbuna · 06-23-21, 11:37 AM

Hello doctor, can you look at my laptop?

Why?

It looks like it caught a virus.

Jimbuna · 06-23-21, 11:37 AM

The local minister sees that every morning, some apples on his tree are missing. He makes a sign:

God sees everything.

The next morning, somebody writes under it: Yes, but he’s not a snitch.

Jimbuna · 06-24-21, 02:00 PM

Q: How many times could old Noah go fishing?

A: Only twice. He only had 2 worms.

Platapus · 06-24-21, 04:09 PM

When my wife is upset I let her color in my black and white tattoos

I think she really appreciates having a shoulder to crayon.

06-17-21, 05:11 PM	#3076
Eisenwurst Silent Hunter Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 3,585 Downloads: 58 Uploads: 0	"I see", said the blind man. As he peed into the wind. "It's all coming back to me". __________________

06-18-21, 07:26 AM	#3077
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 180,992 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	I’ve always thought my neighbours were quite nice people. But then they put a password on their Wi-Fi. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

06-18-21, 11:52 AM	#3078
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 180,992 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	A man goes to the lawyer: “What is your fee?” Lawyer says: “1000 US dollars for 3 questions.” Man: “Wow - so much! Isn’t it a bit expensive?” Lawyer: “Yes, what is your third question?” __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

06-19-21, 01:22 PM	#3079
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 180,992 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	What do you call a typo on a tombstone? A grave mistake. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

06-19-21, 01:23 PM	#3080
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 180,992 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	When I look at chocolate, I hear two voices in my head. The first one says: “You need to eat that chocolate.” The other voice goes: “You heard. Eat the chocolate.” __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

06-19-21, 05:48 PM	#3081
Eisenwurst Silent Hunter Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 3,585 Downloads: 58 Uploads: 0	Why does the Little Mermaid wear seashells? Beacause she's too big for B shells. __________________

06-20-21, 05:20 AM	#3082
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 180,992 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	My friend boasted he had the body of a Greek god. I had to explain where Buddha actually comes from. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

06-20-21, 01:40 PM	#3083
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 180,992 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Why is it a bad idea to insult an octopus? Because it is well armed. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

06-22-21, 01:41 PM	#3084
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 180,992 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Man to his wife: “Do you know what our 6 year old son wants to be once he’s big?” Wife: “No.” Man: “A garbage man. And you know why?” Wife: “No, why?” Man: “Because he thinks they only work on Tuesdays.” __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

06-22-21, 01:43 PM	#3085
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 180,992 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	In a boutique: Could I try the dress in the shop window, please? I’m sorry madam but no. We have cabins for that. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

06-23-21, 12:21 AM	#3086
Eisenwurst Silent Hunter Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 3,585 Downloads: 58 Uploads: 0	what do you call a guy that's half Indian? Ian. __________________

06-23-21, 11:37 AM	#3087
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 180,992 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Hello doctor, can you look at my laptop? Why? It looks like it caught a virus. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

06-23-21, 11:37 AM	#3088
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 180,992 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	The local minister sees that every morning, some apples on his tree are missing. He makes a sign: God sees everything. The next morning, somebody writes under it: Yes, but he’s not a snitch. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

06-24-21, 02:00 PM	#3089
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 180,992 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Q: How many times could old Noah go fishing? A: Only twice. He only had 2 worms. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

06-24-21, 04:09 PM	#3090
Platapus Fleet Admiral Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 18,928 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 0	When my wife is upset I let her color in my black and white tattoos I think she really appreciates having a shoulder to crayon. __________________ abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right.