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01-24-24, 04:33 PM | #4996 |
Fleet Admiral
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Don’t challenge Death to a pillow fight.
Unless you’re prepared for the reaper cushions.
__________________
abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right. |
01-25-24, 09:33 AM | #4997 |
Chief of the Boat
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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? 45 pounds.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
01-26-24, 01:04 PM | #4998 |
Chief of the Boat
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My wife complained that the vacuum sucks too hard on the rugs and I made a joke... anyway, I'm sleeping on the couch tonight.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
01-27-24, 06:28 AM | #4999 |
Fleet Admiral
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What's the difference between your wife and your job?
one still sucks after two years
__________________
abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right. |
01-27-24, 12:40 PM | #5000 |
Chief of the Boat
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Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
01-27-24, 05:22 PM | #5001 |
Fleet Admiral
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A man just assaulted me with milk, butter, and cheese. How dairy.
__________________
abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right. |
01-28-24, 07:13 AM | #5002 |
Chief of the Boat
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I have a fantasy, to sleep with 2 women... in the same year.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
01-28-24, 09:46 AM | #5003 |
Fleet Admiral
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My boss said to me, “You’re the worst train driver ever. How many have you derailed this year?”
I said, “I’m not sure; it’s hard to keep track.”
__________________
abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right. |
01-28-24, 01:53 PM | #5004 |
Chief of the Boat
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Would you call an Italian hooker a pasta-tute?
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
01-28-24, 02:14 PM | #5005 |
Fleet Admiral
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Imagine if you walked into a bar and there was a long line of people waiting to hit you.
That’s the punch line.
__________________
abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right. |
01-28-24, 02:30 PM | #5006 |
Chief of the Boat
|
Remember how when you were little you could just rip off your diaper and run around naked and everyone thought it was funny?
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
01-29-24, 01:40 PM | #5007 |
Chief of the Boat
|
Why do they call it PMS? Because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
01-29-24, 05:26 PM | #5008 |
Fleet Admiral
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The only idea that flat-earthers fear is sphere itself.
__________________
abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right. |
01-30-24, 08:59 AM | #5009 |
Chief of the Boat
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I flirted with disaster last night. Now disaster won't stop texting me.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
01-30-24, 04:46 PM | #5010 |
Fleet Admiral
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I visited my friend at his new house.
He told me to make myself at home. So I threw him out. I hate having visitors.
__________________
abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right. |
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