The joke thread - Page 135

RundownJet · 06-21-12, 06:56 PM

(Im Back!, And sadly the jokes didnt get any better. So here's a very "Great" One-liner to celebrate my return!

)

"The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades"...Eh?

RundownJet · 06-21-12, 06:59 PM

"I quit my job at the helium factory, I refuse to be spoken to in that tone"...Eh?

RundownJet · 06-21-12, 07:04 PM

"A baby seal walks into a club." ..Eh?

stoppro · 06-21-12, 08:05 PM

where's bossmark and jimbuna- we need help here

RundownJet · 06-21-12, 08:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stoppro

where's bossmark and jimbuna- we need help here

Sounds like you guys missed my Jokes!
So here's another one!..Eh?

Q: How do celebrities stay cool?
A: They have many fans!

RundownJet · 06-21-12, 08:59 PM

And one more for good measure..For now Eh?

There was a mathematician who frequently sunbathed and often strayed from the topic of conversation. He was a real tan gent!

RundownJet · 06-21-12, 11:54 PM

I went for a job as a gold prospector, but it didn't pan out..Eh?

RundownJet · 06-22-12, 12:03 AM

"Couldn't pass this up

"

Q: Why can a man never go hungry in a great desert?
A: He can eat the sand which is there.

RundownJet · 06-22-12, 12:10 AM

Q: How much do dead batteries cost?
A: Nothing - they're free of charge!

RundownJet · 06-22-12, 12:15 AM

Archaeologists in Britain found part of an ancient door. It had a stone hinge on it.

BossMark · 06-22-12, 01:25 AM

With the high rate of attacks on women in secluded parking lots, especially during evening hours, the Melbourne City Council, Australia has established a "Women Only" parking lot.
Even the parking lot attendants are exclusively female so that a comfortable and safe environment is created for patrons.
Please see below for the first picture available of this world-first parking lot in Australia:

BossMark · 06-22-12, 01:44 AM

'I'm thinking of whitewashing the shed,' said Finnegan to the barman Michael McGee.
'What colour were you thinking of whitewashing it?' asked McGee.
'Well, I was thinking of whitewashing it green,' mused Finnegan. 'But I'm not sure if I can spare the time.'
'Why don't you let my lad do it for you,' suggested Mick. 'He'll whitewash it any colour you like. He won't charge you a penny and it'll be a few quid for the boy as well!

Jimbuna · 06-22-12, 07:38 AM

I was standing at the bar when a girl came up to me.

"Fancy buying me a drink?" She said,

"Sure," I replied. "If you let me choose."

"Okay," she grinned. "But how will you know what I want?"

"Well, it's kind of a talent," I smiled. "All I do is look a girl up and down and I know exactly what drink suits her best."

"Okay," she giggled. "You can choose for me."

So I turned to the barman and said, "Diet coke, mate."

RundownJet · 06-22-12, 11:30 AM

Time for more "Great" Jokes!

Q: Why did the horse request to move stables?
A: He couldn't stand the neigh-bours!

RundownJet · 06-22-12, 11:32 AM

"I just "affixed" a stamp to an envelope as the envelope instructed me to do. I realised that I enjoy affixing stamps. Does this make me a stamp affixionado?"..Eh?

06-21-12, 06:56 PM	#2011
RundownJet Mate Join Date: Apr 2012 Posts: 53 Downloads: 80 Uploads: 0	(Im Back!, And sadly the jokes didnt get any better. So here's a very "Great" One-liner to celebrate my return!) "The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades"...Eh? Last edited by RundownJet; 06-22-12 at 12:14 AM.

06-21-12, 06:59 PM	#2012
RundownJet Mate Join Date: Apr 2012 Posts: 53 Downloads: 80 Uploads: 0	"I quit my job at the helium factory, I refuse to be spoken to in that tone"...Eh? Last edited by RundownJet; 06-22-12 at 12:02 AM.

06-21-12, 08:05 PM	#2014
stoppro Sonar Guy Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: vero beach fl Posts: 380 Downloads: 493 Uploads: 0	where's bossmark and jimbuna- we need help here __________________ win 10 64-msi-32gig cosair ddr4-ryzen9-5600evga gtx3060-corsair850watt-2-ssd 500 gig drives 1m2 1tig

06-21-12, 08:59 PM	#2016
RundownJet Mate Join Date: Apr 2012 Posts: 53 Downloads: 80 Uploads: 0	And one more for good measure..For now Eh? There was a mathematician who frequently sunbathed and often strayed from the topic of conversation. He was a real tan gent! Last edited by RundownJet; 06-22-12 at 12:05 AM.

06-22-12, 12:03 AM	#2018
RundownJet Mate Join Date: Apr 2012 Posts: 53 Downloads: 80 Uploads: 0	"Couldn't pass this up" Q: Why can a man never go hungry in a great desert? A: He can eat the sand which is there.

06-21-12, 07:04 PM	#2013
RundownJet Mate Join Date: Apr 2012 Posts: 53 Downloads: 80 Uploads: 0	"A baby seal walks into a club." ..Eh?

06-21-12, 11:54 PM	#2017
RundownJet Mate Join Date: Apr 2012 Posts: 53 Downloads: 80 Uploads: 0	I went for a job as a gold prospector, but it didn't pan out..Eh?

06-22-12, 12:10 AM	#2019
RundownJet Mate Join Date: Apr 2012 Posts: 53 Downloads: 80 Uploads: 0	Q: How much do dead batteries cost? A: Nothing - they're free of charge!

06-22-12, 12:15 AM	#2020
RundownJet Mate Join Date: Apr 2012 Posts: 53 Downloads: 80 Uploads: 0	Archaeologists in Britain found part of an ancient door. It had a stone hinge on it.

06-22-12, 01:25 AM	#2021
BossMark Fleet Admiral Join Date: May 2011 Location: Leeds, West Yorkshire Posts: 15,272 Downloads: 278 Uploads: 0	With the high rate of attacks on women in secluded parking lots, especially during evening hours, the Melbourne City Council, Australia has established a "Women Only" parking lot. Even the parking lot attendants are exclusively female so that a comfortable and safe environment is created for patrons. Please see below for the first picture available of this world-first parking lot in Australia: __________________ Never trust the Tories look what Thatcher and Major did in the 80s and 90s and look what the wicked witch May is doing now doing now

06-22-12, 01:44 AM	#2022
BossMark Fleet Admiral Join Date: May 2011 Location: Leeds, West Yorkshire Posts: 15,272 Downloads: 278 Uploads: 0	'I'm thinking of whitewashing the shed,' said Finnegan to the barman Michael McGee. 'What colour were you thinking of whitewashing it?' asked McGee. 'Well, I was thinking of whitewashing it green,' mused Finnegan. 'But I'm not sure if I can spare the time.' 'Why don't you let my lad do it for you,' suggested Mick. 'He'll whitewash it any colour you like. He won't charge you a penny and it'll be a few quid for the boy as well! __________________ Never trust the Tories look what Thatcher and Major did in the 80s and 90s and look what the wicked witch May is doing now doing now

06-22-12, 07:38 AM	#2023
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 184,161 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	I was standing at the bar when a girl came up to me. "Fancy buying me a drink?" She said, "Sure," I replied. "If you let me choose." "Okay," she grinned. "But how will you know what I want?" "Well, it's kind of a talent," I smiled. "All I do is look a girl up and down and I know exactly what drink suits her best." "Okay," she giggled. "You can choose for me." So I turned to the barman and said, "Diet coke, mate." __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim)

06-22-12, 11:30 AM	#2024
RundownJet Mate Join Date: Apr 2012 Posts: 53 Downloads: 80 Uploads: 0	Time for more "Great" Jokes! Q: Why did the horse request to move stables? A: He couldn't stand the neigh-bours!

06-22-12, 11:32 AM	#2025
RundownJet Mate Join Date: Apr 2012 Posts: 53 Downloads: 80 Uploads: 0	"I just "affixed" a stamp to an envelope as the envelope instructed me to do. I realised that I enjoy affixing stamps. Does this make me a stamp affixionado?"..Eh?