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03-08-20, 07:10 AM | #1606 |
Chief of the Boat
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Asked a librarian the other day if she had any books about paranoia.
She whispered: “They’re right behind you.”
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
03-08-20, 07:12 AM | #1607 |
Chief of the Boat
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Just seen at idiot in my local gym putting a bottle of water into the Pringles holder on the treadmill.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
03-09-20, 08:39 AM | #1608 |
Chief of the Boat
|
Heard on the radio today that bad drivers are gonna be getting £100 fines. Seems a bit sexist.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
03-09-20, 08:41 AM | #1609 |
Chief of the Boat
|
A recent study has found that women who carry a bit of extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
03-10-20, 02:44 PM | #1610 |
Chief of the Boat
|
The worst part about getting fired from my job at the unemployment office was that I still had to show up the next day.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
03-10-20, 02:55 PM | #1611 |
Chief of the Boat
|
Took a girl home last night and I accidentally said ‘how’s your daddy’ instead of ‘who’s your daddy’. We spent 2 hours talking about her dad’s cholesterol.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
03-11-20, 07:18 AM | #1612 |
Chief of the Boat
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It looks like food banks are just as corrupt as normal banks. I deposited a pack of biscuits at my food bank last week and when I went to collect them today they told me they had gone.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
03-11-20, 07:24 AM | #1613 |
Chief of the Boat
|
You know you’re a bad driver when your SatNav says “In 400 yards, please stop the car and let me out”.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
03-12-20, 07:19 AM | #1614 |
Chief of the Boat
|
Five things women love in cats but hate in men which proves they are crazy hypocrites.
1. Cats are covered in body hair. 2. Cats don’t listen. 3. Cats don’t come in when you call. 4. Cats stay out all night. 5. Cats like to be left alone and sleep all day.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
03-12-20, 07:23 AM | #1615 |
Chief of the Boat
|
Just read an article about the top 100 things to do before you die. Was quite surprised that screaming “HELP ME!!” didn’t make the list.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
03-13-20, 08:35 AM | #1616 |
Chief of the Boat
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Phone rings at 2am.
Husband: Hello, who is this? How the hell do I know I’m not a weather man! *slams phone down* Wife: Who was that honey? Husband: Just some guy asking if the coast was clear tonight.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
03-13-20, 08:42 AM | #1617 |
Chief of the Boat
|
I can count the number of times I’ve been to Chernobyl on one hand….. It’s 7.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
03-14-20, 09:55 AM | #1618 |
Chief of the Boat
|
Just heard on the radio that a lot of women are turning into good drivers. So, if you’re a good driver, watch out for turning women!
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
03-14-20, 10:00 AM | #1619 |
Chief of the Boat
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Went to see the doctor last week, he gave me 4 months to live, so I shot him. Today the judge gave me 20 years, problem solved.
__________________
Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
Oh my God, not again!! GWX3.0 Download Page - Donation/instant access to GWX (Help SubSim) |
03-15-20, 05:54 AM | #1620 |
Fleet Admiral
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The World Health Organization confirmed that it was they who authorized the end of COVID19 quarantines for dogs and that they are now allowed to go outside.
I was wondering about that.
__________________
abusus non tollit usum - A right should NOT be withheld from people on the basis that some tend to abuse that right. |
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