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SUBSIM: The Web's #1 resource for all submarine & naval simulations since 1997 |
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#1 |
Sonar Guy
![]() Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 387
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Winter 1941
"What do we do when it gets very cold and the water freezes." asks my Weapons officer "You get out and push" I say We are all freezing cold and in a bad mood. "Ship spotted,sir" yells my Watch officer "What kind of ship?" I ask "A big one, sir" He replies "Anything else?" "It's odd looking" "Ok, grab the manual and look up big odd looking ship" I say to the crew They start looking and I go up to see what it is. "You do known what this is?" I say "No, sir" he replies "It's an Iceberg!" I shout at him"or the allies have got new camo" "Should we attack it?" "Yes, now fetch the Chief's blow dryer" I cry. End of Part 3 I'd like to know what you guys think, it's getting lonely on this topic ![]() |
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#2 |
Mate
![]() Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 54
Downloads: 54
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#3 |
Weps
![]() Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 367
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The jokes are slapstick funny, which is enjoyable, but what happened between 2 and 3? Are they supposed to have continuity?
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#4 |
Sonar Guy
![]() Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 387
Downloads: 7
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Yes they are but it's further into the patrol
![]() Sorry but I'm a little rusty and never really had much practice |
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#5 |
Sonar Guy
![]() Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 387
Downloads: 7
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"We've been out here for two months and so far all we've done is:
Dive to evade escorts Dive to evade aircraft Dive to evade Iceberg" I said sadly "Well, at least we're not dead" said Zimmerman with a large grin on his face Before I could reply my Watch Officer yells "Warship spotted" Everyone starts running around. "Hold it" I shout "Hold what,sir?" asks my Chief Ignoring him I ask my Watch Officer what kind of ship it is. "A big and odd looking one, sir" He replies I go up onto the bridge and there it was... "This is a Cargo ship!" I tell him "and it is unarmed how did you mistake this for a Warship?" "Not true,sir" he boldly replies "look there, all those green guns" "Those are tanks"I explain to him"It's a Cargo ship carrying tanks, now prepare to attack!" End of part 4 |
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#6 |
Sonar Guy
![]() Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 387
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"Now onward to Victory" I cheer
"I don't know,sir" says my Navagator "Victory is not on the map" "Nevermind then, what you got to do to get good help" I murmur "Fire all" says my Weapons Officer A few minutes later nothing "Wow, that was disapointing" I say "The greatest idea ever, use all of your torpedeos at once" "Where to now,sir?" Asks my Navagator "Home" I answer "I don't see home on the map either,sir" says my Navagator "Home port!, Navagator, Home port!" I shout at him "Well, sir, I don't see a-" I cut him off before he could finsh "I know!" "Sir" Says my Chief "May I ask a question" "Yes, as long as it's not the one about where babys come from" I say End of part 5 |
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#7 |
Sonar Guy
![]() Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 387
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"What do we do when we run out of food?" ask my Chief
"We starve, have we run out of food,Chief?" I reply "Well sort of, you see one of the men used the other toilet and flushed the last of our supplies down" "Well, surface the boat and man the flak gun" I say [Out on the Bridge later on] "Are you sure this will work,sir?" asks my watch officer "Of course it will work" I say "Its my idea" "Lunch Ahoy!" One of the watch yell The flak gunner opens fire on the seagull, the flak gunner missing every shot even though the bird was sitting on the periscope the whole time. I grab the flak gun and fire at the bird, killing it, as a sort of joke the bird's body flys off the periscope hitting me in the face, Stunned I throw the bird off the ship. "Officer, get the bird!" I shout "But I cann't swim!" "Then learn!" I yell thowing him over the edge End of part 6 |
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