Genius in laziness, Navy style

Maltadog · 12-11-13, 04:55 AM

Edit: actually, it is USCG style...

A friend relayed me this, and I immediately thought that you guys would get a chuckle out of it:

From http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/co...r_done/cdnafqe

Thread: What is the laziest thing you've ever done?

Post:
Late to the party but this one is too good to pass up:

I was once on a US military ship, having breakfast in the wardroom (officers lounge) when the Operations Officer (OPS) walks in. This guy was the definition of NOT a morning person; he's still half asleep, bleary eyed... basically a zombie with a bagel. He sits down across from me to eat his bagel and is just barely conscious. My back is to the outboard side of the ship, and the morning sun is blazing in one of the portholes putting a big bright-ass circle of light right on his barely conscious face. He's squinting and chewing and basically just remembering how to be alive for today. It's painful to watch.
But then zombie-OPS stops chewing, slowly picks up the phone, and dials the bridge. In his well-known I'm-still-totally-asleep voice, he says "heeeey. It's OPS. Could you... shift our barpat... yeah, one six five. Thanks." And puts the phone down. And then he just sits there. Squinting. Waiting.
And then, ever so slowly, I realize that that big blazing spot of sun has begun to slide off the zombie's face and onto the wall behind him. After a moment it clears his face and he blinks slowly a few times and the brilliant beauty of what I've just witnessed begins to overwhelm me. By ordering the bridge to adjust the ship's back-and-forth patrol by about 15 degrees, he's changed our course just enough to reposition the sun off of his face. He's literally just redirected thousands of tons of steel and hundreds of people so that he could get the sun out of his eyes while he eats his bagel. I am in awe.
He slowly picks up his bagel and for a moment I'm terrified at the thought that his own genius may escape him, that he may never appreciate the epic brilliance of his laziness (since he's not going to wake up for another hour). But between his next bites he pauses, looks at me, and gives me the faintest, sly grin, before returning to gnaw slowly on his zombie bagel.

Cybermat47 · 12-11-13, 05:20 AM

Brilliant!

Jimbuna · 12-11-13, 05:43 AM

Nice one

Sailor Steve · 12-11-13, 08:03 AM

Very good!

ETR3(SS) · 12-11-13, 09:51 AM

Yeah, this has been making the rounds on FB the past few weeks. Great Story!

Spiced_Rum · 12-11-13, 10:29 AM

Rank has its privilege

Red October1984 · 12-11-13, 06:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ETR3(SS)

Yeah, this has been making the rounds on FB the past few weeks. Great Story!

Saw it there first...doubt it's truthfulness...but still funny.

My friend at Pensacola is "on hold" right now...so he says he does nothing but PT and Volleyball all the time.

Typical Navy.

12-11-13, 04:55 AM	#1
Maltadog Swabbie Join Date: Oct 2013 Posts: 13 Downloads: 1 Uploads: 0	Genius in laziness, Navy style Edit: actually, it is USCG style... A friend relayed me this, and I immediately thought that you guys would get a chuckle out of it: From http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/co...r_done/cdnafqe Thread: What is the laziest thing you've ever done? Post: Late to the party but this one is too good to pass up: I was once on a US military ship, having breakfast in the wardroom (officers lounge) when the Operations Officer (OPS) walks in. This guy was the definition of NOT a morning person; he's still half asleep, bleary eyed... basically a zombie with a bagel. He sits down across from me to eat his bagel and is just barely conscious. My back is to the outboard side of the ship, and the morning sun is blazing in one of the portholes putting a big bright-ass circle of light right on his barely conscious face. He's squinting and chewing and basically just remembering how to be alive for today. It's painful to watch. But then zombie-OPS stops chewing, slowly picks up the phone, and dials the bridge. In his well-known I'm-still-totally-asleep voice, he says "heeeey. It's OPS. Could you... shift our barpat... yeah, one six five. Thanks." And puts the phone down. And then he just sits there. Squinting. Waiting. And then, ever so slowly, I realize that that big blazing spot of sun has begun to slide off the zombie's face and onto the wall behind him. After a moment it clears his face and he blinks slowly a few times and the brilliant beauty of what I've just witnessed begins to overwhelm me. By ordering the bridge to adjust the ship's back-and-forth patrol by about 15 degrees, he's changed our course just enough to reposition the sun off of his face. He's literally just redirected thousands of tons of steel and hundreds of people so that he could get the sun out of his eyes while he eats his bagel. I am in awe. He slowly picks up his bagel and for a moment I'm terrified at the thought that his own genius may escape him, that he may never appreciate the epic brilliance of his laziness (since he's not going to wake up for another hour). But between his next bites he pauses, looks at me, and gives me the faintest, sly grin, before returning to gnaw slowly on his zombie bagel. Last edited by Maltadog; 12-11-13 at 05:08 AM.

12-11-13, 05:20 AM	#2
Cybermat47 Willing Webfooted Beast Join Date: Aug 2012 Location: Australia Posts: 5,408 Downloads: 300 Uploads: 23	Brilliant! __________________ Historical TWoS Gameplay Guide: http://www.subsim.com/radioroom/showthread.php?p=2572620 Historical FotRSU Gameplay Guide: https://www.subsim.com/radioroom/sho....php?p=2713394

12-11-13, 05:43 AM	#3
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 190,461 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Nice one __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

12-11-13, 08:03 AM	#4
Sailor Steve Eternal Patrol Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: High in the mountains of Utah Posts: 50,369 Downloads: 745 Uploads: 249	Very good! __________________ “Never do anything you can't take back.” —Rocky Russo

12-11-13, 09:51 AM	#5
ETR3(SS) Ocean Warrior Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Between test depth and periscope depth Posts: 3,021 Downloads: 175 Uploads: 16	Yeah, this has been making the rounds on FB the past few weeks. Great Story! __________________ USS Kentucky SSBN 737 (G) Comms Div 2003-2006 Qualified 19 November 03 Yes I was really on a submarine.

12-11-13, 10:29 AM	#6
Spiced_Rum Ace of the Deep Join Date: May 2013 Location: Enjoying a run ashore Posts: 1,129 Downloads: 69 Uploads: 0	Rank has its privilege __________________ Spiced_Rum "The only rocks I want to see are in my glass, and covered with lashings of Spicey and Coke"