You know whats grosser then gross?

1480 · 08-25-08, 10:55 PM

Back in my HS years in the mid 80's, these jokes were incredibly popular, so I will start it off and I will ask my compadres of subsim to add on. Only one requirement, one liners only!

Whats grosser then gross?

You kiss your grandma goodbye and she slips you the tongue....

Sailor Steve · 08-26-08, 03:31 AM

Were you so busy telling 'gross' jokes that you didn't learn the difference between 'then' and 'than'? :p

d@rk51d3 · 08-26-08, 03:50 AM

That's the way it's spoken in "Chitcago, Illinoise":rotfl:

Frame57 · 08-26-08, 04:38 AM

You go to the doctor and he tells you that you need a prostate exam. You bend over and he begins the uncomfortable probing. While you are trying to think of anything else but what is going on you realize both of his hands are on your shoulders....

Dowly · 08-26-08, 04:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frame57

You go to the doctor and he tells you that you need a prostate exam. You bend over and he begins the uncomfortable probing. While you are trying to think of anything else but what is going on you realize both of his hands are on your shoulders....

:rotfl::rotfl:

I remember hearing this while watching Jim Davidson's 'In Your Face' (Kindly pointed to me by Kratos & Hunter).

I'll hijack this thread for abit, just to post the linky to the IYF, great watch.

http://www.youtube.com/results?searc...q=9&oq=jim+dav

Happy Times · 08-26-08, 04:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 1480

Back in my HS years in the mid 80's, these jokes were incredibly popular, so I will start it off and I will ask my compadres of subsim to add on. Only one requirement, one liners only!

Whats grosser then gross?

Today its 2g1c.

Frame57 · 08-26-08, 05:17 AM

When i was the FNG on the Archerfish, I was selected to repair a valve in one of the sanitary tanks. The senior A gangers were chuckling because they thought it would gross me out. little did they know that i worked as a plumber apprentice before I joined the service and had some experience with sewers and such. So before i climbed into the tank I bought a baby ruth candy bar from the gedunk locker that the yeoman ran and put it in my coverall pocket. So I climb in the **** tank while a few of the other crew looked on and poked fun at me asking me how I like the working conditions etc... I casually replied, "all was fine and was getting hungry". While they kept jeering i took the candy bar out and exclaimed that i found something of Interest and approached the access hatch for them to see and proceeded to eat the candy bar feigning it to be something else entirely. The worm turned on them and they became grossed out. The Corpsman later chewed me out for eating in the sanitary tank, but it was worth the antics I guess. Things we did to entertain ourselves on Subs...

Jimbuna · 08-26-08, 07:04 AM

Statistically... 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.

1480 · 08-26-08, 07:43 AM

Quote:

Were you so busy telling 'gross' jokes that you didn't learn the difference between 'then' and 'than'? :p

SS, you got me.

I was too caught up in my observations of the rather distinct changes in the post pubescent stage of the female homo sapien sapien.

Quote:

That's the way it's spoken in "Chitcago, Illinoise":rotfl:

I don't think Neal would appreciate it if I would have spelled it the way I really wanted to:rotfl:

With the spelling play on the state, its unreal the amount of times I've heard people pronounce Illinois with the 's' at the end. I usually fire back, do you say Ar-kansas, when speaking about Ar kan saw?:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Just remember if ever in the second city, tree means three, jeet means did you eat, and a gangway is the walkway between two houses.

d@rk51d3 · 08-26-08, 07:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 1480

I don't think Neal would appreciate it if I would have spelled it the way I really wanted to:rotfl:

:rotfl:

That thought had crossed my mind.

Sailor Steve · 08-26-08, 10:31 AM

Sailing ship. New sailor. Crusty old chief is showing him around. Baby sailor says "Chief, I don't know quite how to ask this, but we're going to be at sea for weeks. What do you do when you, you know...?"

"Well, son, when we're at sea we have 'The Barrel'."

"The Barrel?"

"Yup. See that barrel over there? See that hole down there? Any time you feel the urge, you just mosey on over there and let The Barrel do its thing. Best time you'll ever have on board, guaranteed."

The kid decides that's just to weird for him, so he goes about the business of learning the ship and the sea, and studiously avoids The Barrel. After a week of this he decides he can't take it anymore. When he's sure no one is looking he sneaks over to the barrel.

A few minutes later he seeks out the Chief. "Chief. I gotta tell you I had my doubts, but you were right; that was quite the experience! Can I do it again?"

"Sure you can, son. The only time you're restricted is when your on duty and on Tuesdays."

"Tuesdays? What happens on Tuesdays?"

"Well, now that you've joined the club, Tuesday's your day in the barrel!"

VipertheSniper · 08-26-08, 10:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jimbuna

Statistically... 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.

That's not grosser than gross, thats just very cynical.

What's gross? A baby in a trashcan. What's grosser? Two babies in a trashcan. What's grossest? One baby in two trashcans.

Frame57 · 08-26-08, 12:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sailor Steve

Sailing ship. New sailor. Crusty old chief is showing him around. Baby sailor says "Chief, I don't know quite how to ask this, but we're going to be at sea for weeks. What do you do when you, you know...?"

"Well, son, when we're at sea we have 'The Barrel'."

"The Barrel?"

"Yup. See that barrel over there? See that hole down there? Any time you feel the urge, you just mosey on over there and let The Barrel do its thing. Best time you'll ever have on board, guaranteed."

The kid decides that's just to weird for him, so he goes about the business of learning the ship and the sea, and studiously avoids The Barrel. After a week of this he decides he can't take it anymore. When he's sure no one is looking he sneaks over to the barrel.

A few minutes later he seeks out the Chief. "Chief. I gotta tell you I had my doubts, but you were right; that was quite the experience! Can I do it again?"

"Sure you can, son. The only time you're restricted is when your on duty and on Tuesdays."

"Tuesdays? What happens on Tuesdays?"

"Well, now that you've joined the club, Tuesday's your day in the barrel!"

Thank God we did not have the barrell on subs:rotfl:

Jimbuna · 08-26-08, 12:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frame57

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sailor Steve

Sailing ship. New sailor. Crusty old chief is showing him around. Baby sailor says "Chief, I don't know quite how to ask this, but we're going to be at sea for weeks. What do you do when you, you know...?"

"Well, son, when we're at sea we have 'The Barrel'."

"The Barrel?"

"Yup. See that barrel over there? See that hole down there? Any time you feel the urge, you just mosey on over there and let The Barrel do its thing. Best time you'll ever have on board, guaranteed."

The kid decides that's just to weird for him, so he goes about the business of learning the ship and the sea, and studiously avoids The Barrel. After a week of this he decides he can't take it anymore. When he's sure no one is looking he sneaks over to the barrel.

A few minutes later he seeks out the Chief. "Chief. I gotta tell you I had my doubts, but you were right; that was quite the experience! Can I do it again?"

"Sure you can, son. The only time you're restricted is when your on duty and on Tuesdays."

"Tuesdays? What happens on Tuesdays?"

"Well, now that you've joined the club, Tuesday's your day in the barrel!"

Thank God we did not have the barrell on subs:rotfl:

I heard you lot had the golden rivet instead

Jimbuna · 08-26-08, 01:00 PM

Jade Goody has cancer, and she claims that she is worried that hair loss might ruin her looks.

Nice to see she hasn't lost her sense of humour.

08-25-08, 10:55 PM	#1
1480 Lead Slinger Join Date: May 2007 Location: Chitcago, Illinoise Posts: 1,442 Downloads: 74 Uploads: 0	You know whats grosser then gross? Back in my HS years in the mid 80's, these jokes were incredibly popular, so I will start it off and I will ask my compadres of subsim to add on. Only one requirement, one liners only! Whats grosser then gross? You kiss your grandma goodbye and she slips you the tongue.... __________________

08-26-08, 03:31 AM	#2
Sailor Steve Eternal Patrol Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: High in the mountains of Utah Posts: 50,369 Downloads: 745 Uploads: 249	Were you so busy telling 'gross' jokes that you didn't learn the difference between 'then' and 'than'? :p __________________ “Never do anything you can't take back.” —Rocky Russo

08-26-08, 07:04 AM	#8
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 190,461 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Statistically... 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

08-26-08, 10:31 AM	#11
Sailor Steve Eternal Patrol Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: High in the mountains of Utah Posts: 50,369 Downloads: 745 Uploads: 249	Sailing ship. New sailor. Crusty old chief is showing him around. Baby sailor says "Chief, I don't know quite how to ask this, but we're going to be at sea for weeks. What do you do when you, you know...?" "Well, son, when we're at sea we have 'The Barrel'." "The Barrel?" "Yup. See that barrel over there? See that hole down there? Any time you feel the urge, you just mosey on over there and let The Barrel do its thing. Best time you'll ever have on board, guaranteed." The kid decides that's just to weird for him, so he goes about the business of learning the ship and the sea, and studiously avoids The Barrel. After a week of this he decides he can't take it anymore. When he's sure no one is looking he sneaks over to the barrel. A few minutes later he seeks out the Chief. "Chief. I gotta tell you I had my doubts, but you were right; that was quite the experience! Can I do it again?" "Sure you can, son. The only time you're restricted is when your on duty and on Tuesdays." "Tuesdays? What happens on Tuesdays?" "Well, now that you've joined the club, Tuesday's your day in the barrel!" __________________ “Never do anything you can't take back.” —Rocky Russo

08-26-08, 01:00 PM	#15
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 190,461 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Jade Goody has cancer, and she claims that she is worried that hair loss might ruin her looks. Nice to see she hasn't lost her sense of humour. __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

08-26-08, 03:50 AM	#3
d@rk51d3 Sea Lord Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Adelaide, South Australia Posts: 1,951 Downloads: 207 Uploads: 0	That's the way it's spoken in "Chitcago, Illinoise":rotfl:

08-26-08, 04:38 AM	#4
Frame57 Sea Lord Join Date: May 2008 Location: 1300 feet on the crapper Posts: 1,860 Downloads: 2 Uploads: 0	You go to the doctor and he tells you that you need a prostate exam. You bend over and he begins the uncomfortable probing. While you are trying to think of anything else but what is going on you realize both of his hands are on your shoulders....

08-26-08, 05:17 AM	#7
Frame57 Sea Lord Join Date: May 2008 Location: 1300 feet on the crapper Posts: 1,860 Downloads: 2 Uploads: 0	When i was the FNG on the Archerfish, I was selected to repair a valve in one of the sanitary tanks. The senior A gangers were chuckling because they thought it would gross me out. little did they know that i worked as a plumber apprentice before I joined the service and had some experience with sewers and such. So before i climbed into the tank I bought a baby ruth candy bar from the gedunk locker that the yeoman ran and put it in my coverall pocket. So I climb in the **** tank while a few of the other crew looked on and poked fun at me asking me how I like the working conditions etc... I casually replied, "all was fine and was getting hungry". While they kept jeering i took the candy bar out and exclaimed that i found something of Interest and approached the access hatch for them to see and proceeded to eat the candy bar feigning it to be something else entirely. The worm turned on them and they became grossed out. The Corpsman later chewed me out for eating in the sanitary tank, but it was worth the antics I guess. Things we did to entertain ourselves on Subs...