Goddammit, Bernard...

Stealth Hunter · 10-26-07, 04:44 PM

About 4 minutes ago, I was playing a single mission in an XXI.

I fired a torpedo, and it turns out it's the sound-sensitive one. It turns right around and slams into the side of my U-boat. Water's pouring in, crewmen are drowning, we're listing, and we sink in less than 30 seconds. Finally, we all die from implosion.

Goddammit, Bernard...

Kodaita · 10-26-07, 04:51 PM

Yeah, you've got to make sure your engines are quiet when you fire those. Also a good idea to dive as well, all they listen for is the loudest noise. Next time tell Bernard he can't play with the pots and pans during attack runs:rotfl:

Stealth Hunter · 10-26-07, 04:59 PM

The lying ******* told me that the enemy vessel was cruising at 25 knots at a distance of 300 meters!

IT SHOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED!!

Kodaita · 10-26-07, 05:08 PM

AHHHH, now I see the problem. You trusted Bernard :rotfl:

When he says something like 25 knots at 300 m, you need to convert Bernard speak, to something the rest of us understand. For example. Bernard says 8 knots at 1200m, that works out to about 29 knots at about.....oh......30 or so meters...brace for impact :rotfl:

Rykaird · 10-26-07, 05:15 PM

My boss thinks I'm a nut because I'm in a meeting and laughing out loud at this thread.

I so have to get some of these torps and sink myself. What a great story. Too bad your poor crew all had to die just for this laugh, but hey, that's war.

Stealth Hunter · 10-26-07, 05:27 PM

I thought he'd finally get a little more intelligence. Sadly, I was wrong...

Guess it's out the torpedo tubes for Bernard! Hopefully his ass will fit. Might have to throw away some butter on this one.

NealT · 10-26-07, 05:30 PM

Even if you get rid of him, his GHOST will return and haunt you.

Either that or he will be reincarnated...

:rotfl:

Stealth Hunter · 10-26-07, 06:17 PM

"He was to be sealed inside the U-boat. The Undead for all of eternity. The SS would never allow him to be released, for he would unleash a walking disease, a plague upon mankind. The hordes of A-Noob-Is-He would devour scores of SH3 players and give him (formally Bernard) the glory of invincibility of the NOOB!!"

Stealth Hunter · 10-26-07, 06:18 PM

Here's a screenshot of the event:

bigboywooly · 10-26-07, 06:25 PM

Homing torps dont arm till 400m
If the DD is heading towards you at 25kts and you fire at a range of 300m the DD is past you when the torp arms

Now YOU are the loudest target unless you dive or cut speed

The right way to use 2 homers

The wrong way

:rotfl: :rotfl:

Stealth Hunter · 10-26-07, 06:28 PM

Goddammit I hate homers...

I'll stick with steamers.

NiclDoe · 10-26-07, 08:02 PM

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: Wow that never happened to me. Bernard is such an idoit and does not know howto do simple math problems. how in the right mind did Hitler let get his own boat or be enlisted.

10-26-07, 04:44 PM	#1
Stealth Hunter Silent Hunter Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Y'ha-Nthlei Posts: 4,262 Downloads: 19 Uploads: 0	Goddammit, Bernard... About 4 minutes ago, I was playing a single mission in an XXI. I fired a torpedo, and it turns out it's the sound-sensitive one. It turns right around and slams into the side of my U-boat. Water's pouring in, crewmen are drowning, we're listing, and we sink in less than 30 seconds. Finally, we all die from implosion. Goddammit, Bernard...

10-26-07, 04:51 PM	#2
Kodaita A-ganger Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Michigan Posts: 76 Downloads: 0 Uploads: 0	Yeah, you've got to make sure your engines are quiet when you fire those. Also a good idea to dive as well, all they listen for is the loudest noise. Next time tell Bernard he can't play with the pots and pans during attack runs:rotfl: __________________ "Helm, bridge...what are you doing 60 degrees off course?" "Bridge, helm...coming back from 90 degrees, sir."

10-26-07, 05:08 PM	#4
Kodaita A-ganger Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Michigan Posts: 76 Downloads: 0 Uploads: 0	AHHHH, now I see the problem. You trusted Bernard :rotfl: When he says something like 25 knots at 300 m, you need to convert Bernard speak, to something the rest of us understand. For example. Bernard says 8 knots at 1200m, that works out to about 29 knots at about.....oh......30 or so meters...brace for impact :rotfl: __________________ "Helm, bridge...what are you doing 60 degrees off course?" "Bridge, helm...coming back from 90 degrees, sir."

10-26-07, 06:25 PM	#10
bigboywooly Rear Admiral Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Swindon, England Posts: 10,151 Downloads: 35 Uploads: 0	Homing torps dont arm till 400m If the DD is heading towards you at 25kts and you fire at a range of 300m the DD is past you when the torp arms Now YOU are the loudest target unless you dive or cut speed The right way to use 2 homers The wrong way :rotfl: :rotfl: __________________ My mediafire page http://www.mediafire.com/?11eoq19bq9r41

10-26-07, 08:02 PM	#12
NiclDoe Grey Wolf Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: In the Air or hiding from Black Swans Posts: 760 Downloads: 6 Uploads: 0	:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: Wow that never happened to me. Bernard is such an idoit and does not know howto do simple math problems. how in the right mind did Hitler let get his own boat or be enlisted. __________________ The Crazy Wolf

10-26-07, 04:59 PM	#3
Stealth Hunter Silent Hunter Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Y'ha-Nthlei Posts: 4,262 Downloads: 19 Uploads: 0	The lying ******* told me that the enemy vessel was cruising at 25 knots at a distance of 300 meters! IT SHOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED!!

10-26-07, 05:15 PM	#5
Rykaird Weps Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 356 Downloads: 36 Uploads: 0	My boss thinks I'm a nut because I'm in a meeting and laughing out loud at this thread. I so have to get some of these torps and sink myself. What a great story. Too bad your poor crew all had to die just for this laugh, but hey, that's war.

10-26-07, 05:27 PM	#6
Stealth Hunter Silent Hunter Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Y'ha-Nthlei Posts: 4,262 Downloads: 19 Uploads: 0	I thought he'd finally get a little more intelligence. Sadly, I was wrong... Guess it's out the torpedo tubes for Bernard! Hopefully his ass will fit. Might have to throw away some butter on this one.

10-26-07, 05:30 PM	#7
NealT Ace of the Deep Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: 2 Meters Below Jimbuna Posts: 1,060 Downloads: 4 Uploads: 0	Even if you get rid of him, his GHOST will return and haunt you. Either that or he will be reincarnated... :rotfl:

10-26-07, 06:17 PM	#8
Stealth Hunter Silent Hunter Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Y'ha-Nthlei Posts: 4,262 Downloads: 19 Uploads: 0	"He was to be sealed inside the U-boat. The Undead for all of eternity. The SS would never allow him to be released, for he would unleash a walking disease, a plague upon mankind. The hordes of A-Noob-Is-He would devour scores of SH3 players and give him (formally Bernard) the glory of invincibility of the NOOB!!"

10-26-07, 06:18 PM	#9
Stealth Hunter Silent Hunter Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Y'ha-Nthlei Posts: 4,262 Downloads: 19 Uploads: 0	Here's a screenshot of the event:

10-26-07, 06:28 PM	#11
Stealth Hunter Silent Hunter Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Y'ha-Nthlei Posts: 4,262 Downloads: 19 Uploads: 0	Goddammit I hate homers... I'll stick with steamers.