the BERNARD thread

Cybermat47 · 09-29-12, 01:51 AM

Quote:

Don't let Bernard enlist.

Just saying.

I won't let you find out like I did.

Bernard is bad.

He makes your torpedoes miss, he kills your crew, he bangs on the hull as a destroyer is looking for you, he drools and giggles the whole time.

What am I talking about, there is no avoiding Bernard.

Your kinda screwed dude.

Yes, the peroxide-scoffing crewman has now gotten his own thread.
Here, tell your chilling tales of how BERNARD killed the U-Bootwaffe's best captain...

During July, 1940, BERNARD ended the career of Kapitanleuntant Manfred Werner, by disobeying the chiefs orders, and diving the boat to 328 metres.

It really says something about German egineering that the boat was destroyed by slamming into the ocean floor, not being crushed!

fisheagle · 09-29-12, 02:01 AM

Hide yo kids, hide yo wife cuz Bernards killin errbody out here

Cybermat47 · 09-29-12, 10:00 PM

Amen.

soopaman2 · 09-29-12, 10:23 PM

In all fairness, when in port Bernard buys all the drinks.

Some sources even say he is banging Onkel Karls daughter.

Explains alot.

Cybermat47 · 09-29-12, 10:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by soopaman2

In all fairness, when in port Bernard buys all the drinks.

Some sources even say he is banging Onkel Karls daughter.

Explains alot.

When Gunther Hessler gets back...

For Onkel Karl's daughter...

Is Mrs Hessler!

soopaman2 · 09-29-12, 10:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cybermat47

When Gunther Hessler gets back...

For Onkel Karl's daughter...

Is Mrs Hessler!

Married women don't stop him, he drinks peroxide from the torpedoes.

You should see how he humps his mattress, I feel bad for whoever hot-bunks with him.

Damn misfires and circle runs.

Cybermat47 · 09-29-12, 11:08 PM

Excuse me.

BLUUUURGH!

fisheagle · 09-30-12, 01:52 PM

BERNARD!!!

*Ten Minutes Later*

Why Bernard!! Why!!!

Cybermat47 · 09-30-12, 08:23 PM

It happens to everyone...unfortunately.

joea · 10-01-12, 05:29 AM

Bernard has ended many of my careers, he's even joined the Allies on occasion-makes you wonder who he's really working for.

In fact he must have a brother in the Heer, my Pz-III in Steel Fury has been upended several times trying to climb fallen trees or other obstacles. I think there is a Red equivalent as well messing with my T-34s.

Jimbuna · 10-01-12, 06:09 AM

JU_88 · 10-01-12, 06:14 AM

I heard Bernard quit the kriegsmarine and got a new job,

Cybermat47 · 12-31-12, 04:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JU_88

I heard Bernard quit the kriegsmarine and got a new job,

Hoo-boy.

Red October1984 · 12-31-12, 05:51 PM

Bernard enlisted in the American Silent Service guys! Didn't you hear? He ran the USS Sturgeon into the smallest island of the pacific while he was plotting our course.

He was transferred to an S-Boat. The S-#^@ boat.

Jimbuna · 01-01-13, 06:43 AM

I heard he transferred to the army...

09-29-12, 02:01 AM	#2
fisheagle Swabbie Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: Mississippi Posts: 7 Downloads: 8 Uploads: 0	Hide yo kids, hide yo wife cuz Bernards killin errbody out here __________________ Sub Games i own: Silent Hunter 3, 4 w/ Uboat Missions, 5 Dangerous Waters Battlestations Pacific My other car is a Typhoon Class Submarine

09-29-12, 10:00 PM	#3
Cybermat47 Willing Webfooted Beast Join Date: Aug 2012 Location: Australia Posts: 5,408 Downloads: 300 Uploads: 23	Amen. __________________ Historical TWoS Gameplay Guide: http://www.subsim.com/radioroom/showthread.php?p=2572620 Historical FotRSU Gameplay Guide: https://www.subsim.com/radioroom/sho....php?p=2713394

09-29-12, 10:23 PM	#4
soopaman2 Der Alte Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: New Jersey, USA Posts: 3,316 Downloads: 61 Uploads: 0	In all fairness, when in port Bernard buys all the drinks. Some sources even say he is banging Onkel Karls daughter. Explains alot. __________________ If Hitler invaded Hell I would make at least a favourable reference to the devil in the House of Commons. -Winston Churchill- The most fascinating man in the world.

09-29-12, 11:08 PM	#7
Cybermat47 Willing Webfooted Beast Join Date: Aug 2012 Location: Australia Posts: 5,408 Downloads: 300 Uploads: 23	Excuse me. BLUUUURGH! __________________ Historical TWoS Gameplay Guide: http://www.subsim.com/radioroom/showthread.php?p=2572620 Historical FotRSU Gameplay Guide: https://www.subsim.com/radioroom/sho....php?p=2713394

09-30-12, 01:52 PM	#8
fisheagle Swabbie Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: Mississippi Posts: 7 Downloads: 8 Uploads: 0	BERNARD!!! Ten Minutes Later Why Bernard!! Why!!! __________________ Sub Games i own: Silent Hunter 3, 4 w/ Uboat Missions, 5 Dangerous Waters Battlestations Pacific My other car is a Typhoon Class Submarine

09-30-12, 08:23 PM	#9
Cybermat47 Willing Webfooted Beast Join Date: Aug 2012 Location: Australia Posts: 5,408 Downloads: 300 Uploads: 23	It happens to everyone...unfortunately. __________________ Historical TWoS Gameplay Guide: http://www.subsim.com/radioroom/showthread.php?p=2572620 Historical FotRSU Gameplay Guide: https://www.subsim.com/radioroom/sho....php?p=2713394

10-01-12, 05:29 AM	#10
joea Silent Hunter Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: At periscope depth in Lake Geneva Posts: 3,512 Downloads: 25 Uploads: 0	Bernard has ended many of my careers, he's even joined the Allies on occasion-makes you wonder who he's really working for. In fact he must have a brother in the Heer, my Pz-III in Steel Fury has been upended several times trying to climb fallen trees or other obstacles. I think there is a Red equivalent as well messing with my T-34s.

10-01-12, 06:09 AM	#11
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 190,461 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	__________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

10-01-12, 06:14 AM	#12
JU_88 Silent Hunter Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: UK Posts: 3,803 Downloads: 11 Uploads: 0	I heard Bernard quit the kriegsmarine and got a new job,

12-31-12, 05:51 PM	#14
Red October1984 Airplane Nerd Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: Texas Posts: 6,243 Downloads: 115 Uploads: 0	Bernard enlisted in the American Silent Service guys! Didn't you hear? He ran the USS Sturgeon into the smallest island of the pacific while he was plotting our course. He was transferred to an S-Boat. The S-#^@ boat. __________________

01-01-13, 06:43 AM	#15
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 190,461 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	I heard he transferred to the army... __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!