just call me Bernard

Keelbuster · 03-16-07, 11:03 AM

Mother of all burns last night. Radio reports allow me to intercept a fast moving TF moving down the TF corridor from ireland to gibraltar. It was nighttime, and the dark shapes approached rapidly while I scrambled to get close to the center lane. The big shadow in the middle was a BB. I was pleasantly nervous. They were bashing along, so they didn't hear my approach, waves covered my periscope, and i had four T2s ready in the front. At optimal firing position i was 800m from the BB. Firing solution was locked in - 18kts from the radio report, 90degrees starboard, and 800m. All the tubes were open, and set to 6m. I popped up the scope, and as the ship passed 0 gyro, i fired 1....2....3....4, so that he would take one hit at even intervals along his width. It was a deadly recipe. Periscope down. Wait...think....wait - what did I just see??! I pop it back up - BB is at 340 - not where i expected! What? How? As the giant ship crosses 0, I wonder...what happened to my torps? All the hit times have passed and i'm thinking FCK. Then boom.....boom (where!?)....boom - i see water flashing up behind the BB ...She's Going Down! ...boom -- BOOOM. Massive explosion. A cruiser running in parallel with the BB has been totally demolished by four hits. The BB is unscathed. Arg! At the moment of firing, in looking through my scope at 8x, I didn't recognize that i was firing at a cruiser and not the BB

There's nothing i can do..the BB steams off at 18 kts. I start chugging along - as usual, TF escorts are worthless and don't find me. The depression sets in...I totally blew it. Burnard. Bigtime.

Sailor Steve · 03-16-07, 11:04 AM

"Congratulations. Keep up the good work"-Winston Churchill

rasmus1896 · 03-16-07, 11:31 AM

Bernard Bernard Bernard Bernard.

you asked for it

Penelope_Grey · 03-16-07, 11:44 AM

Aww! Don't be nasty! Its a simple enough mistake to make! Or does somebody need their heads bouncing off an Uzo or an attack periscope?

AVGWarhawk · 03-16-07, 11:46 AM

Ok, hello Bernard

rasmus1896 · 03-16-07, 12:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Penelope_Grey

Aww! Don't be nasty! Its a simple enough mistake to make! Or does somebody need their heads bouncing off an Uzo or an attack periscope?

this is a difficult question

Morts · 03-16-07, 12:40 PM

Hey Bernard

:rotfl: :rotfl:

Hakahura · 03-16-07, 12:52 PM

No

I'm Bernard and so's my other careers

High Voltage · 03-16-07, 12:57 PM

Hey Keelbuster, you would still qualify as the smartest officer on some of my patrols...

Keelbuster · 03-16-07, 01:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by High Voltage

Hey Keelbuster, you would still qualify as the smartest officer on some of my patrols...

Har...yea - trying to look at the bright side here - at least i hit something

STEED · 03-16-07, 01:40 PM

Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard.

Mush Martin · 03-16-07, 01:44 PM

Well Kurt Jurgens was wrong after all!

we have not yet taken the humanity out of warfare.

Jimbuna · 03-16-07, 02:05 PM

Take the renown and heed the lesson

U-104 · 03-16-07, 04:13 PM

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Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, 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Sailor Steve · 03-16-07, 04:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by STEED

Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard.

I'm gonna hate myself for this, but is that sung to the tune of "Spam, spam, spam, spam"?

03-16-07, 11:03 AM	#1
Keelbuster Ace of the Deep Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: BA 72 Posts: 1,092 Downloads: 43 Uploads: 0	just call me Bernard Mother of all burns last night. Radio reports allow me to intercept a fast moving TF moving down the TF corridor from ireland to gibraltar. It was nighttime, and the dark shapes approached rapidly while I scrambled to get close to the center lane. The big shadow in the middle was a BB. I was pleasantly nervous. They were bashing along, so they didn't hear my approach, waves covered my periscope, and i had four T2s ready in the front. At optimal firing position i was 800m from the BB. Firing solution was locked in - 18kts from the radio report, 90degrees starboard, and 800m. All the tubes were open, and set to 6m. I popped up the scope, and as the ship passed 0 gyro, i fired 1....2....3....4, so that he would take one hit at even intervals along his width. It was a deadly recipe. Periscope down. Wait...think....wait - what did I just see??! I pop it back up - BB is at 340 - not where i expected! What? How? As the giant ship crosses 0, I wonder...what happened to my torps? All the hit times have passed and i'm thinking FCK. Then boom.....boom (where!?)....boom - i see water flashing up behind the BB ...She's Going Down! ...boom -- BOOOM. Massive explosion. A cruiser running in parallel with the BB has been totally demolished by four hits. The BB is unscathed. Arg! At the moment of firing, in looking through my scope at 8x, I didn't recognize that i was firing at a cruiser and not the BB There's nothing i can do..the BB steams off at 18 kts. I start chugging along - as usual, TF escorts are worthless and don't find me. The depression sets in...I totally blew it. Burnard. Bigtime. __________________

03-16-07, 11:04 AM	#2
Sailor Steve Eternal Patrol Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: High in the mountains of Utah Posts: 50,369 Downloads: 745 Uploads: 249	"Congratulations. Keep up the good work"-Winston Churchill __________________ “Never do anything you can't take back.” —Rocky Russo

03-16-07, 11:44 AM	#4
Penelope_Grey Sea Lord Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: UK Posts: 1,893 Downloads: 0 Uploads: 0	Aww! Don't be nasty! Its a simple enough mistake to make! Or does somebody need their heads bouncing off an Uzo or an attack periscope? __________________ I SURVIVED THE FIRST EVER SUBSIM WEREWOLF HUNT - and... I actually won the game for the humans too!

03-16-07, 11:46 AM	#5
AVGWarhawk Lucky Jack Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: In a 1954 Buick. Posts: 28,253 Downloads: 90 Uploads: 0	Ok, hello Bernard __________________ “You're painfully alive in a drugged and dying culture.” ― Richard Yates, Revolutionary Road

03-16-07, 12:52 PM	#8
Hakahura Grey Wolf Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland Posts: 785 Downloads: 0 Uploads: 0	No I'm Bernard and so's my other careers __________________ Sir Humphey Appleby, GCB, KBE, MVO and MA. Britain's Greatest Orator, well bar that Churchill fellow.

03-16-07, 11:31 AM	#3
rasmus1896 Sparky Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Eesti Estonia Posts: 153 Downloads: 1 Uploads: 0	Bernard Bernard Bernard Bernard. you asked for it

03-16-07, 12:40 PM	#7
Morts Admiral Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Denmark Posts: 2,395 Downloads: 23 Uploads: 0	Hey Bernard :rotfl: :rotfl:

03-16-07, 12:57 PM	#9
High Voltage Chief Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: U-33. Depth Charges...sinking.. Posts: 325 Downloads: 0 Uploads: 0	Hey Keelbuster, you would still qualify as the smartest officer on some of my patrols... __________________ The new-moon night is black as ink. Off Hatteras the tankers sink. While sadly Roosevelt counts the score-- Some fifty thousand tons--by MOHR

03-16-07, 01:40 PM	#11
STEED Lucky Jack Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Down Town UK Posts: 27,695 Downloads: 89 Uploads: 48	Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard. __________________ Dr Who rest in peace 1963-2017. To borrow Davros saying...I NAME YOU CHIBNALL THE DESTROYER OF DR WHO YOU KILLED IT!

03-16-07, 01:44 PM	#12
Mush Martin Eternal Patrol Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 4,398 Downloads: 4 Uploads: 0	Well Kurt Jurgens was wrong after all! we have not yet taken the humanity out of warfare. __________________ RIP Mush Tutorial

03-16-07, 02:05 PM	#13
Jimbuna Chief of the Boat Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: 250 metres below the surface Posts: 190,481 Downloads: 63 Uploads: 13	Take the renown and heed the lesson __________________ Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something. Oh my God, not again!!

03-16-07, 04:13 PM	#14
U-104 Grey Wolf Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: United States Posts: 797 Downloads: 187 Uploads: 0	Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, 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Bernard, Bernard, Bernard __________________ My heart is steadfast, O God. I will sing and make music with all my soul. Ps. 108:1 Survival of the fittest does not explain arrival of the fittest. we live in a single spoken sentence.. "God said, let there be"