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Gut Wrench · 09-09-19, 09:50 PM

Nighthawks Take Off
Gunners Sound Off

Here we go folks, it's Week One in the Subsim Fantasy Football League.

But all the action happened before we even got to week one

After the draft was completed at Ayers Rock, the largest rock in the middle of the Australian continent, there were murmurings, discord, and chatter.

We'll dissect and analyze in such detail, you may not have even heard of some of the issues that have surrounded the week. But before we get to Antonio Brown, this is something else you need to hear.

DONATE TO SUBSIM...AND NOMINATE SUBSIM FANTASY FOOTBALL FOR BEST OF SUBSIM.

Last year it was Le'von Bell, this year, is the Antonio Brown tempter tantrum.

Let's go back over the events that lead to the start of week one.

Brown has taken out a Subsim.com MVP (Most Valuable Torpedo) in each of the last five years, and ended up on the All Star team, was subject of chatter at Draft Day when the Helmand Nighthawks drafted him. Media microphones on top of the rock picked up the following conversations from Brown.

"The Helmand who? I'm not playing for them."

"Give me more money."

"Don't fine me for asking for more money."

"I want a trade away."

And the headline last Saturday; "If I don't get my way, I won't play."

Our Commissioner has intervened on very few matters in the preceding years once the draft is complete. This year was different. Brown recorded the Commissioner's telephone call on the now infamous "secret hotline".

Commissioner: Listen you little prick. The Nighthawks drafted you, you're playing for the Nighthawks until Mister Chris decides that your ass is no longer wanted. Do you understand me?

Brown:Yes sir. I'll fall in line sir. Don't beat me again, sir.

The Commissioner has denied beating Brown with a stick.

After concluding the conversation, the Commissioner placed Brown on the "Physically Unable to Shut the F *** up" List" (PUTSTFU), rendering him ineligible for Week One. The Commissioner called the coach of the Nighthawks to advise of the league decision, to which Mister Chris responded "Eh, I won't need him anyway this week."

Mister Chris was right!

The Nighthawks have owned Week One in the Subsim.com league, and they were our Game of the Week. Last year they were matched up against the Who Dat Nation. This year, they had the Who Dat Nation matched up again, but as the higher finishing team, they were playing again at home in Wembley Stadium, England. The Nighthawks got off to shaky start on Thursday night with Aaron Rodgers (QB), but it was the workhorse load of Cam McCaffrey (RB) that carried the brute force of this legacy team. The Nation had most of their players stacked to play Monday Night and despite Drew Brees (QB) throwing for over 350 yards (again), the 110 point lead that the Nighthawks held before the start of the day was just too much. Not even Drew Brees (QB) final 30 second drive and a career long 58 yards from Will Lutz (K) was enough. The Nation come up short as they attempt to run down the Nighthawks, who end up winning the game 147 - 143.

The furthermost point on the planet away from Wembley, quite possible would be the home field of the Australian Taipans as they hosted the Black Cats. The Cats were making their first opening week trip to Australia and arrived early to get used to the cold. While playing in the snow is not uncommon in the USA, this game was played against the backdrop of devastating bushfires licking the perimeter of the Taipans ground. The Cats drafted Matt Ryan (QB) this year and from early one, Ryan was in trouble. The Vikings (DEF) for the Taipans held Ryan to nothing, until the second to last play of the game. Ryan was able to connect for a touchdown which put him over 300 yards for the day, barely. Would those 12 points come back to haunt the Taipans? You bet they did. The Taipans started the game as underdogs, and their running back combination let them down, while they left almost over 50 points on the bench. While the Taipans were able to claw back into the game, Matt Ryan's (QB) last throw efforts would eventually sink the Taipans in their first home opener. Black Cats win the match 160-152.

Our final game of the week was last years Most Incredible Comeback team of the Drunk Monkeys hosting the Guns of Hochuli. The Gunners are the historically stronger team but the Monkeys showed everyone last year that they know how to win the regular season - and with some more discipline, they could have potentially swept the league. The Gunners handed the Monkeys one of the few losses last season, and this year, the Gunners were out to cannon their way back to the top of the league. Deandre Hopkins (WR) was the highest scorer the Gunners, but they didn't need to set any records, beating the Monkeys by outscoring them in every position. The Gunners put up the highest score in the league for the week, and it wasn't even close. The Cats get skinned by the Gunners 174-103.

So after Week One - where do we stand?

Half the league is 0-1, the other half is 1-0.

Next week, we come back to the USA as the Who Dat Nation head back to Oregon for their home opener against the Guns of Hochuli. The Gunners lead the league in scoring after the first week, but with all those Saints on the Nation, that's an explosive scoring team.

Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.

For only the second time, Antonio Brown (WR) is not going to receive the opening week MVT. For the effort of 313 passing yards, 3 touchdowns and 5 rushing yards, for a total score of 36.52 points, the opening weeks MVT goes to Carson Wentz (QB) of the Guns of Hochuli.

09-09-19, 09:50 PM	#5
Gut Wrench Chief Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Everywhere Posts: 321 Downloads: 0 Uploads: 0	Nighthawks Take Off Gunners Sound Off Here we go folks, it's Week One in the Subsim Fantasy Football League. But all the action happened before we even got to week one After the draft was completed at Ayers Rock, the largest rock in the middle of the Australian continent, there were murmurings, discord, and chatter. We'll dissect and analyze in such detail, you may not have even heard of some of the issues that have surrounded the week. But before we get to Antonio Brown, this is something else you need to hear. DONATE TO SUBSIM...AND NOMINATE SUBSIM FANTASY FOOTBALL FOR BEST OF SUBSIM. Last year it was Le'von Bell, this year, is the Antonio Brown tempter tantrum. Let's go back over the events that lead to the start of week one. Brown has taken out a Subsim.com MVP (Most Valuable Torpedo) in each of the last five years, and ended up on the All Star team, was subject of chatter at Draft Day when the Helmand Nighthawks drafted him. Media microphones on top of the rock picked up the following conversations from Brown. "The Helmand who? I'm not playing for them." "Give me more money." "Don't fine me for asking for more money." "I want a trade away." And the headline last Saturday; "If I don't get my way, I won't play." Our Commissioner has intervened on very few matters in the preceding years once the draft is complete. This year was different. Brown recorded the Commissioner's telephone call on the now infamous "secret hotline". Commissioner: Listen you little prick. The Nighthawks drafted you, you're playing for the Nighthawks until Mister Chris decides that your ass is no longer wanted. Do you understand me? Brown:Yes sir. I'll fall in line sir. Don't beat me again, sir. The Commissioner has denied beating Brown with a stick. After concluding the conversation, the Commissioner placed Brown on the "Physically Unable to Shut the F *** up" List" (PUTSTFU), rendering him ineligible for Week One. The Commissioner called the coach of the Nighthawks to advise of the league decision, to which Mister Chris responded "Eh, I won't need him anyway this week." Mister Chris was right! The Nighthawks have owned Week One in the Subsim.com league, and they were our Game of the Week. Last year they were matched up against the Who Dat Nation. This year, they had the Who Dat Nation matched up again, but as the higher finishing team, they were playing again at home in Wembley Stadium, England. The Nighthawks got off to shaky start on Thursday night with Aaron Rodgers (QB), but it was the workhorse load of Cam McCaffrey (RB) that carried the brute force of this legacy team. The Nation had most of their players stacked to play Monday Night and despite Drew Brees (QB) throwing for over 350 yards (again), the 110 point lead that the Nighthawks held before the start of the day was just too much. Not even Drew Brees (QB) final 30 second drive and a career long 58 yards from Will Lutz (K) was enough. The Nation come up short as they attempt to run down the Nighthawks, who end up winning the game 147 - 143. The furthermost point on the planet away from Wembley, quite possible would be the home field of the Australian Taipans as they hosted the Black Cats. The Cats were making their first opening week trip to Australia and arrived early to get used to the cold. While playing in the snow is not uncommon in the USA, this game was played against the backdrop of devastating bushfires licking the perimeter of the Taipans ground. The Cats drafted Matt Ryan (QB) this year and from early one, Ryan was in trouble. The Vikings (DEF) for the Taipans held Ryan to nothing, until the second to last play of the game. Ryan was able to connect for a touchdown which put him over 300 yards for the day, barely. Would those 12 points come back to haunt the Taipans? You bet they did. The Taipans started the game as underdogs, and their running back combination let them down, while they left almost over 50 points on the bench. While the Taipans were able to claw back into the game, Matt Ryan's (QB) last throw efforts would eventually sink the Taipans in their first home opener. Black Cats win the match 160-152. Our final game of the week was last years Most Incredible Comeback team of the Drunk Monkeys hosting the Guns of Hochuli. The Gunners are the historically stronger team but the Monkeys showed everyone last year that they know how to win the regular season - and with some more discipline, they could have potentially swept the league. The Gunners handed the Monkeys one of the few losses last season, and this year, the Gunners were out to cannon their way back to the top of the league. Deandre Hopkins (WR) was the highest scorer the Gunners, but they didn't need to set any records, beating the Monkeys by outscoring them in every position. The Gunners put up the highest score in the league for the week, and it wasn't even close. The Cats get skinned by the Gunners 174-103. So after Week One - where do we stand? Half the league is 0-1, the other half is 1-0. Next week, we come back to the USA as the Who Dat Nation head back to Oregon for their home opener against the Guns of Hochuli. The Gunners lead the league in scoring after the first week, but with all those Saints on the Nation, that's an explosive scoring team. Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance. For only the second time, Antonio Brown (WR) is not going to receive the opening week MVT. For the effort of 313 passing yards, 3 touchdowns and 5 rushing yards, for a total score of 36.52 points, the opening weeks MVT goes to Carson Wentz (QB) of the Guns of Hochuli.