Finnish drinking game
There are two versions of this game for Finns; regular and advanced.
Regular: Three Finnish guys go into the sauna, each with half a litre of Kossu (Finland's famous Koskenkorva vodka). They each drink the vodka, and then one guy goes outside. The other two have to guess who went outside....
Advanced: TWO Finnish guys go into the sauna, each with a litre of Kossu. They each drink the vodka, and then one guy goes outside. The other guy has to guess who went outside....
Famous last words of Finnish men
"Naah, we dont need no electrician here."
"We can go to my place - wife's on night shift"
"I love you Kristiina... eh, I mean Hanna..."
"In principal you shouldnt smoke so near the ammunition"
"Lets study the safety instructions later"
"The side effects of lot of alcohol is hugely exaggerated"
"I got some cheap Russian spirits to the wedding punch so the whole family can drink enough"
"Damn life save vest - not bothering to wear them"
"Look! Whats that bear cub doing alone in the forest?"
"Damn quick to drill the ice when it's this thin."
Finnish weather explained
+15°C / 59°F
This is as warm as it gets in Finland, so we'll start here.
People in Spain wears winter-coats and gloves.
The Finns are out in the sun, getting a tan.
+10°C / 50°F
The French are trying in vain to start their central heating.
The Finns plant flowers in their gardens.
+5°C / 41°F
Italian cars won't start.
The Finns are cruising in cabriolets.
0°C / 32°F
Distilled water freezes.
The water in the Vanda river (in Finland) gets a little thicker.
-5°C / 23°F
People in California almost freeze to death.
The Finns have their final barbecue before winter.
-10°C / 14°F
The Brits start the heat in their houses.
The Finns start using long sleeves.
-20°C / -4°F
The Aussies flee from Mallorca.
The Finns end their Midsummer celebrations. Autumn is here.
-30°C / -22°F
People in Greece die from the cold and disappear from the face of the earth.
The Finns start drying their laundry indoors.
-40°C / -40°F
Paris start cracking in the cold.
The Finns stand in line at the "grilli-kioski".
-50°C / -58°F
Polar bears start evacuating the North Pole.
The Finnish army postpones their winter survival training awaiting real winter weather.
-60°C / -76°F
Korvatunturi (the home for Santa Claus) freezes.
The Finns rent a movie and stay indoors.
-70°C / -94°F
The false Santa moves south.
The Finns get frustrated since they can't store their Kossu (Koskenkorva vodka) outdoors.
The Finnish army goes out on winter survival training.
-183°C / -297.4°F
Microbes in food don't survive.
The Finnish cows complain that the farmers' hands are cold.
-273°C / -459.4°F
All atom-based movent halts.
The Finns start saying "Perkele, it's cold outside today."
-300°C / -508°F
Hell freezes over.
Finland wins the Eurovision Song Contest.
The following are Swedish jokes, but Finns like them!
Construction workers
Three construction workers, an Australian, a Finn and a Swede, are sitting on a beam on the tenth floor about to have their lunch.
The Australian opens his lunch box and says "Bloody hell - meat pies again! Every day it's bloody meat pies! If I get meat pies again tomorrow, I'm going to jump!"
The Finn opens up his lunch next. "Saatana! Makkara (sausage) again! Always sausages! If I get sausage tomorrow, I'm gonna jump too!"
The Swede is the last to open up his lunch. "Ah crap - meatballs again! Why always meatballs? If I get meatballs tomorrow, I'm going to jump too!"
The next day the Aussie opens his lunch box and it's a meat pie... He jumps to his death.
The Finn opens his lunch box and, yes, it's a sausage. He too jumps to his death.
The Swede opens his lunch and sadly there's a pile of meatballs, so he jumps too.
The three widows of the construction workers are talking at the funeral and the Aussie's wife says "I don't understand. I thought my husband loved meat pies! If he didn't want them he should have said something!"
The Finnish widow says "Same here - I thought my husband wanted sausages! Why didn't he say something?"
The Swede's widow says, "I don't get it... my husband made his own lunch."
Technology
An American, a Finn and a Swede are in the sauna together. Suddenly there is a "beep beep" sound, and the American starts to look at the palm of his hand.
"What are you doing?" asks the Finn. The American replies
"This is the latest Motorola technology. I've got my pager embedded in the palm of my hand, so I don't have to carry it around any more."
Then the familiar old Nokia ring tone is heard, and the Finn starts looking at the palm of his hand.
"What are you doing?" ask the other guys. The Finn replies
"This is the latest Nokia technology. I've got my mobile phone embedded in the palm of my hand, so I don't have to carry it around any more."
The Swede thinks to himself that he'd better not be outdone by these guys, so he leaves the sauna. In a couple of minutes he returns, and there is toilet paper hanging out of his bum!
"What the hell is that??" shout the other guys in unison.
"I'm getting a fax." says the Swede.
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