Reminds me of a joke a navy guy told me about "Simulated Liberty"
When you can't get liberty, you can easily simulate it while onboard. There are three steps
1. Go to the fantail and throw your money overboard
2. Slam a watertight door on your... uh... male member
3. Go to the engine room and breath diesel fumes until you pass out.
When you wake up the next morning, you are broke, you have a terrible hangover and your .... member is sore = awesome liberty!
