There's no reason - given a considerable dev effort, (and I'm by no means suggesting this is worth such an effort) why external views could not be implemented in such a way as to not ruin the immersion for those who would rather not have their skipper's utilising it in effect a cheat-tool:
One way is to have a playback facility whereby at the end of a mission you can save and then replay a mission, but with external views. Post-mission viewing only would allow those who wish to see external views to co-exist with those who don't want it (with good reason) to exist during the mission..
Another means would be to show, slightly after the event, but within game, significant events, such as done in SH3 iirc.
I am not advocating either - there are plenty of other more pressing priorities for my tuppence-worth - playable escorts - (shameless plug!) but often, with a little thought two apparently utterly conflicting preferences can be worked to be acceptable to both parties, provided that what really bugs people in either camp is defined well.
In this case, those that don't want external views, probably only don't want them as they don't want the experience of having to rely on sound interpretation or "existing" in claustrophobic conditions to be lessened by external views or someone with access to them explaining to the skipper where exactly the escort is that's DC'ing them. By the same token, those that want external views, probably only wish to see, after the fact, what happens from the external POV.
So once those two specific issues are more tightly defined and teased out, they are no longer necessarily mutually-exclusive.
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