Who Dat Fire the Gunners
Taipans End Their Slump
Week Eight in the Subsim Fantasy Football league. The half way point of the entire season and so far, it looks like we have only one playoff contender showing how it's done, and one relegation showing how it's not done. And in the middle, it's just a big old Antonio Brown mess. (Too soon?). As we get ready to go around the grounds and find out just what happened, here's the most important happening you need to know about.
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Lets take this for the bottom of the table and work our way up, this week.
In Australia, the Taipans return for a much needed home field stretch. Our defending Torpedo Bowl Champions have been just awful this year amassing four consecutive losses. A divisional loss this week would put the Taipans on the brink of elimination, but thanks to some sloppy work in another game, and with the coaching of the Drunk Monkeys, the Taipans got a break. Brandin Cooks (WR) could do with an additional Kit Kat bar as he sustained a concussion running out on to the field, leaving the depleted Taipans wide receiving corp one player down before the kick off and after the close of starters. Not to worry, the Drunk Monkeys who made the long trans Pacific crossing helped out when Devonte Adams (WR) Ezekial Elliott (RB) and Juystin Tucker (K) were all detained at Sydney International Airport for Customs Inspection. The three Monkeys on their quarantine card had responded to the question "Do you have anything to declare?" with "Mind your own business." The players were detained across the weekend ensuring that the Taipans would have no trouble winning the match. Final score Taipans 161 Drunk Monkeys 90.
Back on the mainland, the Who Dat Nation arrived for a showdown with the Guns of Hochuli, still licking their wounds after being given a right royal ass beating by the Nighthawks. The Nation, heavily stacked had been waiting on the star Drew Brees (QB) to return from injury, this being his first week back. Brees did not disappoint coming out and throwing for over 373 yards and 3 touchdowns. The Gunners were resting on their star Carson Wentz (QB) to at least stay on pace with Brees so that their running backs could carry the load. However, Coach Casey, in a rare error, started David Johnson (RB) who this week was scheduled to have his ass enlarged to fit his padded shorts. With Johnson as a non starter, the Nation were able to capitalize on the gap with Mike Evans (WR) going for 198 yards and 2 touchdowns. This game wasn't even close as the Who Dat Nation reaffirmed their position as the leagues potential #2 team by disposing of the the divisional leader Guns of Hochuli. In a massive blow out, the Who Dat Nation put their Torpedo Bowl hopes back in motion, thoroughly beating up the Guns of Hochuli 190 - 103.
Our Match of the Day this week was in the Carolina's where the Black Cats have amassed a 5-2 winning record without Coach FYC ever showing up and without making a single change to their team. The Cats have gone deeper into the regular season than any ghost team prior, to put themselves in the unfathomable position of being league leaders with a win.
"We don't give a crap about their record," Coach Mister Chris of the Helmand Nighthawks responded to the media when asked. "We're here to play the Black Cats."
And play them they did. The Nighthawks for the second week in a row put up the leagues highest score, and set the Nighthawks up not only as the highest average scorer in the league, but come away with sole possession of the best record. The Nighthawks skinned the Black Cats 216 - 125.
So, with the wins and losses there is a little more clarity in the league positions.
The Helmand Nighthawks at 6-2 have the best record in the league and lead the Surface Skimmers Division. Competing in the tougher of the two divisions, the Nighthawks are not yet assured a divisional seeding, but they can put themselves into position to capture either the #1 or #3 seed, and potentially the softer path to the Torpedo Bowl.
The loss by the Guns of Hochuli and the Black Cats keep them at 5-2. The Gunners have a two game lead over the nearest divisional rival and are currently the #2 seed. The Cats with the same record have the #3 seed, but they only hold a one game lead over the divisional rival.
The Who Dat Nation at 4-4 occupy the #4 seed and are the third team in the Surface Skimmers division. The Nation are only one game behind the Black Cats and two games behind the Helmand Nighthawks. This division is undecided for while they may be the #4 seed, they are a past Torpedo Bowl Champion and potentially could play spoiler. There is no one who thinks that the Who Dat Nation can't win the division from two games back.
The Australian Taipans at 3-5 have a much trickier path to the play offs. They have lost games they had no business losing, giving the Black Cats a two game lead. If the Cats continue to ghost along, the Taipans not only have to pick up two games, but also have to get a third game in front of the Cats to win the countback. If they fail to do so, the Black Cats will be the first ghost team to make the playoffs. There's a lot for the Taipans to loose.
At the bottom of the ladder are the Drunk Monkeys at 1-7, but their sole win was against the league leader. The Monkeys are already four games back of the Sub Simmers divisional leader, the Guns of Hochuli, and with the closeness of the Surface Skimmers, are getting close to facing elimination from the playoffs. It's very simple for the Monkeys from here on out. Win everything.
Each week, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) will nominated their Most Valuable Torpedo (MVT) of the week, the single player who proved decisive in their teams performance.
We so looked at giving this weeks aware to another Defense for their outstanding performance, however, they were overshadowed in the Great Southern Land by a second half worthy of the record books. For the effort of 67 rushing yards, 7 receptions for 159 yards and 2 touchdowns, for a score of 47.60 points, the Associated Subsim Writers (ASW) are proud to present the Week Eight MVT to Aaron Jones (RB) of the Australian Taipans.
