Quote:
Originally Posted by Armistead
USS Blowhard S Class
Cmder. Wolferz
Exec - Armistead
We've been stranded on the Mississippi river for 5 years since we were delegated to river patrol. I keep whipping the men into shape only for Wolferz to say "they're not ready yet" grabs his coffee, cusses the coffee, then he vanishes back into his private head. The only way to get him out is old school religious rituals, we have to make a sacrifice, tie a bag of deck shells to the left leg and throw someone overboard. The men are so dedicated when we ask for a volunteer, everyone raises their hand. Wolferz will come out, ask who was sacrificed, mumbles.."getting closer" and retreats back to his head.
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FROM: COMSUBPAC
TO: IMPOSTER S-CLASS
DATE: WE DON'T KNOW
CINCPAC is not pleased to hear that you are preforming occult rituals just to get some lazy commander to come out of his mancave! Let the old man be!
As for your self-imposed Mississippi River patrols, you are to report back to Pearl Harbor at once! Desertion is not tolerated! Head back to Pearl Harbor by [DATA REDACTED] or you will be facing a court-martial!
You are a disgrace to the entire US Navy!
COMSUBPAC