Hello global customer.
Welcome to the U.S. Liberal foreign policy system. We're here to make the world a better place.
If you are experiencing problems with your economy due to liberal U.S. economic policy, please press 1, and a representative of the Democratic party will be with you shortly to explain how it is all ok.
If your nation's currency is being affected by the strength of the U.S. dollar, please press 2, and a representative of the Democratic party will be with you shortly to explain how it is all ok.
If you require a loan from American taxpayers, please press 3, and a representative of the Democratic party will be with you shortly.
If you require a loan from a foreign country at the expense of American taxpayers, please press 4, and a representative of the Democratic party will be with you shortly.
If your country is a wealthy central European nation, please wait for the click.
If your country is experiencing a U.S. military invasion, please insert your phone into the second-smallest body orifice that is not located on your head.
(I do love my little jokes, whether they are funny or not
No serious commentary intended.)