Flamingboat

Well I had been AWOL a few times because I just really couldn't care less about army life. I was a model soldier for the first year but then I got really bored and disillusioned. This was in the mid 90's and nothing was going on. It was a borefest. I had wanted to join the military since I was a little kid but when I got there I found out it was a total joke and a waste of time. NCO's are fat. Some are illiterate. I saw people who did not know how to operate a tailgate on a hummer. I said "no way am I going to war with these idiots". I was 18, I had joined when I was 17. My dad was a cop so I was raised not to take crap off anyone, and I put a lot of emphasis on the anyone part, hehe. I had some article 15s and was about to be chaptered out with a general discharge. I had been barred from re-enlistment. Well my unit deployed to CA for NTC, National Training Center. One month of desert training hell where you ride around on a truck for most of your ife. I was left on base and put on 24 hour guard at the CQ, charge of quarters desk. Well my friends were guarding me. I wanted to go AWOL again so we planned a story where we would just say I knocked my guard out and left. Well that's what we did. Weeks later I decided to go to a post and get discharged once and for all. I didn't know they were charging me with aggravated assault. Oops, like I said I was 18 at the time and no criminal mastermind. So I got courtmartialed for that. I had the two dumbest JAG attorney's on the face of the earth. I got 3 years and a dishonrable, but it was reduced to 2 years and a bad conduct discharge. They thought I was crazy because I didn't mind the brig. I said "hell, this is like a hotel, airconditioning, a roof" hehe. In the infantry you sleep in mud, rain, heat, cold, whatever.

The sad thing was I met nicer and smarter people in the brig than in the normal army. What does that tell you? The told me my life was over, but the only thing that was over was my chance at being a cop or postal worker. Boo hoo, no 30,000 a year job.

I now live happily in New England with my rich liberal lawyer wife and I haven't worked past age 26. All is well that ends well. I have my BCD framed on my wall.