[Bosje]

I doubt I will have the benefit of his abilities much longer, he is getting ready for his own command at an annoyingly swift rate. He'll probably make a better Kaleun than I ever was. You won't catch him agreeing with that, though. All the men under my command radiate an ever-present sense of newness, freshness, ignorance. They hold together perfectly and they do their jobs very well indeed. True and proper U-boat men, but only as long as their old Kaleun is there, watching over the whole thing. Arrogant, yes. Unbecoming, even. But that's how it is. Whenever I am ill or off duty, there is the sense of dread. It clears up as soon as the comforting sound goes through the boat: Duke on deck, they call it behind my back. And I can't help enjoying that. And I can't help worrying about it whenever I have one of my whims of lacking confidence. Still just a bunch of kids, in need of their leader.


'I've been thinking, Duke. I think we were very very lucky with that Liner.' Hans pokes my wandering mind back to reality. 'A French boat must have just attacked that convoy, that's why those escorts were sitting idly around that stricken old lady.' I suppose he is right, she was listing and, judging by the modest plumes of smoke which rose from her forward decks, suffering from some kind of crippling fire in her bowels. Our two eels finished her off quickly enough, kicking her to death while she was already down. Probably a complete surprise to those escorts while they were listening for whatever U-boat struck the first blow. Maybe we will learn what exactly transpired, maybe we won't. It will also depend on whether the other boat got away. 'Ya, I was thinking the same thing. But why in the hell did they let us get away so easily? Why not go after our arse for hours and hours and hours? That's their usual thing, after all.' Silence again for a couple of minutes as we both ponder this. 'Maybe they spent all their depthcharges on that other boat? They simply didn't have any ammunition left for us?' Hmm.


All the same, it was we who sank her in the end. A great victory. But if Hans is right, the Navy let us get away with it only due to a stroke of sheer luck, we have no real reason to think they suddenly became incompetent or lazy. Of course I knew that all along, deep inside. Always fear those bastards and simply consider yourself lucky if you get away with apparent ease. We never engaged the convoy again, fate was very kind to us once more that night. As we started to get close to the convoy for our second run, we got down to listen in. While we were plotting out their course and speed, Klaus called me to the earphones. An incredible bit of luck, two merchants were sailing towards us, very close to the same path as the convoy only outbound, going the other way. We tracked them for a while and it seemed they would be crossing right in front of us. Two merchants, no warships, all bow tubes ready. It was a natural call, I let the convoy escape while I went after the easier undefended prey. Visibility was still terrible but we surfaced and used our own radar to get our firing solutions. This was the second time we ever used our radar, I never use it normally because I assume they can detect our signal at least as easily as we can detect theirs. Well, could, anyway. We launched our eels, we witnessed faint explosions through the squalls and when we got closer to have a look, two merchants were seen to be burning and listing. Estimated 3.000 and 7.000 tonnes, to be added to the score for this patrol. All but one eel expended, apart from the two spare ones in the external storage. But with this weather and the constant air threat, we have no chance of loading those eels into the torpedo rooms.


We ran away in a southerly direction, hiding deep inside the horizontal rains. None of the distant convoy's escorts turned back to give us any bad news, it was all ludicrously easy. Later that afternoon, I ordered a course back home. That was a couple of hours ago. We really did earn some sleep after doing an incredibly good job. But, like stupid idiots, we fail to seize it. Too much to ponder. I lean back on my seat in the officer's mess and start thinking out loud.


'So here we are, going home, an estimated 75.000 tonnes in the log. My most successful patrol. Ever. Even more praiseworthy than sinking that Ami battleship. So why the hell can't I sleep, Hans? Why the hell does it feel unworthy?' He looks at me, thoughtfully. 'Don't ask me, sir. I should feel pretty good about it myself. Still I can't sleep either. Maybe it's all those souls on board the Aquitania. Then again, maybe you are right, maybe we are just too accustomed to hell and damnation, maybe that's why it seems too easily won. But you were there in the happy times, surely you didn't feel bad about it then?' I consider this for a while, I guess he is right. I distinctly remember loving it all back then. 'No, no of course not. You're right. It's like the happy times. We simply got lucky and I should be glad. In due time, I will be glad.' I pour us both a glass from the last bottle of Dutch gin. Hals will need to produce a new secret stash. 'Prosit, Leutnant Bremer. Here's to being lucky bastards.' 'Prosit, Duke. Lucky bastards indeed.'




Oberleutnant Freiherr Beckman
(The Duke to his friends)