I personnally like TMO+RSRD +PE3 (shearly cosmetic)
With TMO you'll see a major overhaul of the game, including a different graphical layout and such.
RSRD is what the campaign should have been all along. It gets rid of the HUGE amounts of aircraft and random convoys for a more historical apporach.
If you have problems installing the mods, they both have dedicated forums, where you'll find the help you need.
As far as the IOWA not enagaging until 3 miles....I'm not sure, but I have faith someone far wiser then I will come along and provide you with an answer.
Good Hunting
