[seafarer]

For some real stories, check out http://www.submarinesailor.com/humor/

Personally, I liked this one

Shark Watch!
by Jimmy Howell, USS Tecumseh, 1984-88

During a swim call off Eleuthra island, the guys inflated a couple of surgical gloves to bat around while swimming. One of these "ballooned gloves" got away from them and drifted about 100-150 yards away from the boat.

The CO who was on the bridge at the time asked the "shark watch" if he thought he could hit the balloon.

With no warning to the swimmers, the watch popped off 5-6 rounds with his M14.

The old saying "Like a Deer in the Headlights" was never better illustrated than by those guys peering at the gunman.

oh, and this one too:

Iceberg, Emergency Deep!
by John Grabarczyk, IC2(SS), USS Shark SSN-591 5/78 - 5/84

Onboard the USS SHARK, off of Andros Island for AUTEC, the XO has the Conn, the CO is standing by, and we're coming to PD. As the scope breaks the XO yells "ICEBERG! EMERGENCY DEEP"!

The CO immediately shouts "Belay That...XO we're in the Caribbean. There are no icebergs here. Let me see that scope".

After looking through the scope he proceeds to check the adjustments, and says "Damn it, XO, you had the scope on high power & full elevation! You're looking at a G**D*** CLOUD"!