Quote:
Originally Posted by SUBMAN1
President Felipe Calderon of Mexico announced that Mexico will not participate in the Beijing Summer Olympics
He stated: "Casa cada uno que puede funcionar, saltar, o ha salido ya del pais."
Translation: "Pretty much everyone who can run, jump, or swim has already left the country."
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You're sure that the Spanish sentence is not your translation?
Otherwise, you forgot to write "nadar" for swim. "casa" means house, "casi" means almost or pretty much. "correr" means to run or "irse corriendo" means to run away, "funcionar" means to work in the sence of functionality aka to run in the sence of functionality. "ya" is an adverb and as such usually in front or in the end of a sentence in Spanish, AFAIK. My suggestion would be:
"Casi cada uno que puede irse corriendo, saltar o nadar, ya ha salido del pais."
I'm not native Spanish speaking, and this was not meant to ruin your joke, because I did find it amusing

, but I have just learned Spanish for a year now, so your words caught my eyes, and I would like to hear the opinion of a native speaker.