The male version
Three naked men in a sauna, an American, Japanese and Irishman. They heard a bleeping sound, the American touches his arm and says thats my pager, I have a microchip under my skin. Next a phone rings and Japanese man lifts his palm to his ear, he says I have a microchip in my hand. The Irishman feeling very lowtech went to the toilet and came back with toilet paper hanging from his arse, he says "Oh jaysus, would u look at that, I'm getting a fax!"
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Three women were in the waiting room of a gynecologist, and each of them was knitting a sweater for their baby-to-be. The first one stopped and took a pill.
"What was that?" The others asked her.
"Oh, it was Vitamin C - I want my baby to be healthy." A few minutes later, another woman took a pill.
"What was that?" the others asked.
"Oh, it was iron - I want my baby to be big and strong."
They continued knitting. Finally the third woman took a pill.
"What was that?" the others asked her.
"It was thalidomide," she said, "I just can't get the arms right on this fecking sweater!"