:rotfl:
Or, Kpt to crew: "OK guys, I've just been speaking to the dockhands. Those wacky guys have really outdone themselves this time, so much so that you are all in for a real treat this patrol. Here's a list of what you can expect:
-faulty shaft seals, relief valve seals, emergency valve seals, diving tank seals, battery cell seals and fuel bunker seals caused through battery acid being poured onto them
-oil contamination caused through addition of sugar
-water contamination caused through addition of dead dog to the tanks (what will they think of next?)
-botulism
-fuel leaks caused through pencil holes being drilled in fuel bunkers
-stress cracks caused through poor welding
I'm certainly impressed."
Seriously though, assuming Bosje that you mean a report of identified malfunctions, what's the point? It's too late then; you've already found them. That's why real Kaleuns were proactive and did test dives and checks every time they started a new patrol, so they could identify any problems and decide whether to proceed before needing to evade the Destroyer that's bearing down on them.
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