I don't have a clue as to why you are having so much trouble; however, the game runs much better with 2Gb of RAM; this is cheap, so the first thing I would do in buy and install enough ram.
Then I would quit any unnecessary programs and use something like FSAutostart or similiar programs to kill any unnecessary RAM killers.
Finially, I would check the drivers for your video card. A lot of people have been having problems with the drivers on the Nvidia (sp) cards.
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Irish1958
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