I've run into the same situation in regards to ramming other ships. One things I abhor is when your surfaced and DD's are close they stop shooting at you and instead use their ships as 1k ton battering rams. End result always seems to end up with my boat getting sunk, or sustaining serious damage.
On the flip side though, I've been inside a convoy (between the columns) and had the exact opposite happen (favorable outcome). The DD goes on its run to start dumping charges (always thought that was a bit unrealistic, the chance of friendly fire sinking the Troop Transport or Tanker is too high) and have succeeded in sinking the DD from it ramming into my conning tower (only possible X factor here is that I typically attack convoys at snorkel depth) without sustaining any or very minor damage. If you're perpendicular to the DD going over you good chance he'll scrape your tower and then get deep 6'd. Usually get no % dmg to hull, and only minor dmg to the tower (if any).
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