Teletype mark urgent
To:B.D.U.
From:Reich chancellery Berlin, Fuhrer H.Q.
From this day forth I have promoted Fritz von Titz C&C of the Deutsches Kreigsmarine. His sacrifice and tireless duty to the fatherland is duly noted.
Also on this day forth J.S. Balz is promoted to head of the Unterseebootwaffe arm of the Kreigsmarine where he can hence forth teach his Hoochie woochie style of submarine warfare to all new Kadets serving our glorious Fatherland. From this day forward all Kaleuns are required to wear tea cozy's as a part of their proper uniform.
Doenitz has been promoted to the rank of the Fuhrer's dog walker. He is to report to Obersalzberg immediatly. Although since he is a navy man and a submariner by trade he is also required to show up in a tea cozy.
Fuhrer H.Q. ende
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