I've been in this delima before, too. I believe that you have to start a new career and save it before your new realism attributes take place.
This may not be so, but I think it is. To change realism, go to the start patrol map in your career office and change it there at the bottom of the page.
The dud torpedoes are a nusicance, but you can redo the tests rather quickly. In the torpedo training most of my duds happen when I shoot at the small tanker. Try attacking on the surface, shoot 2 torps at the tanker, sink the other ships and come back to the tanker. The medium cargo ship should take 2 torps and the small ones take one each(aim for a bow shot).
In the convoy attack school, I havent had this problem as much.
good luck,
with gwx2.0 installed the hardest course is the AA gun school.
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