Have your kids stand at attention everytime you enter the room and make them state quite loudly, "Attention on Deck"or "Make a Hole".
Make sure every water valve in your home has two backups in line which must all be operated to obtain water.
Hookup your air compressor to the sewer line to the house and blow a **** geyser ten feet in the air. Come in side and tell you wife "calmly" I forgot to shut the valve.
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