To: ComSubPac
From: USS Pickerel
Subject: Reimbursement of expenses from last patrol.
Received your contact report 12/24/1941, distance to target was within range at 235 NM. Only problem, Japan was in the way. Proceeded to Yokkaichi and docked, took train to Togi and attempted to borrow a Japanese Navy sub to intercept convoy. Japanese Navy refused the loaner, so we had to take the train back to Yokkaichi empty handed. Japan being an enemy country, most expenses were extremely heavy bribes, but also:
50,000 yen for 70 rickshaws to carry crew and equipment to and from train stations.
500,000 yen for return trip train tickets to Togi
1,800,000 yen for sake and giesha girls (party for Japanese Navy personnel in return for not taking crew as POWs)
Altho we appreciate convoy and task force location reports, we're really not interested in what's going on in the mediterranean, so with all due respect please confine message traffic to Pickerel's patrol area in the future.