you dont have to observe the sinking visualy.
You will score the tonnage when you are around. As long the vessel is rendered in 3d world (about 20 miles around your location) and sinks by your action you should score the kill.
In real life submarines often couldnt see the results because they had to dive away from escorts. In many cases they just heard them sinking. If they couldnt see or hear the ships sinking for sure, they assumed it was damaged even if it was sank. In some cases ships were damaged by torpedos and kept going for hours and even days before they had to be abandoned and sank by own escorts.
Now to your questions.
1. I still enjoy sh4 from time to time but its far less often now. For myself im happy with NSM 3.3 and it looks like the majority of skippers are happy too so i dont have any plans about it yet. There have been no bug reports or suggestions for long time so i guess its finished. It doesnt mean that i have abandoned it, but there is just nothing to do atm.
2. usualy it doesnt take long. Sinking can take hours but that is very rare. If you can observe the damage visualy you can evaluate if it is sinking or not. If you cannot see your victim but you know you have hit it - listen. Heavy damaged ships that are taking critical flooding usualy slow down or even stop. If its about to sink you will soon hear cracking sounds, a sure sign that a part of the ship is taking heavy flooding, in that case it shouldnt take long. If they keep going as usual then they are propebly only scratched.
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