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Originally Posted by Chock
Very good, but, if you want some constructive criticism, there is one very minor error with it (and I do mean minor), and that is, it switches tense from first person to third person in the narrative a couple of times - i.e. it goes from talking collectively from a remote perspective about what 'the youth' are doing, then uses the inclusive 'we' later on, then switches back.
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Very astute observation. Are you a writer?
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learning to avoid this sort of thing this is something which develops the more you actually write
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Beh? Ok, I quess that answers that question...
